tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11633885399679665582024-03-12T22:16:11.773-04:00Albie Rockreal life documentarian.Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.comBlogger5019125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-33611388110678408992019-12-31T22:18:00.003-05:002020-01-10T08:41:54.740-05:00BYE BYEi lived,<br />
i laughed,<br />
i loved,<br />
i lost,<br />
i found,<br />
i cooked,<br />
i ate;<br />
i did so F*ing much my whole head hurts just recollecting about it.<br />
i have so many overlapping pieces of this multidimensional puzzle,<br />
i'm building upward and collapsing inward<br />
and expanding outward and moving forward<br />
and behaving untoward but never as a coward...<br />
i'm afraid that's not how it happens.<br />
ha.<br />
this is IT.<br />
the last one of the year.<br />
the fond farewell and the big goodbye and a short kiss to the long goodnight,<br />
except the lips i miss are seventy miles away,<br />
and the night is icy and loud.<br />
yup.<br />
outside, there are explosions in the sky,<br />
and inside the house, the dog is snoring,<br />
and inside my heart, there's a cast-iron ferrous furnace blasting and beating<br />
and bleating and bellowing and forging new resolve for the new year.<br />
the<span style="color: #f4cccc;"> <b><i>spirit </i></b></span>and <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">memory</span></i></b> of this year is sure to weigh heavily on the hammers<br />
that'll blacksmith a whole new set of circumstances and coincidences<br />
for twenty-twenty.<br />
i am grateful for the people who loved me back,<br />
and i am grateful for the time i have been given.<br />
thanks for reading,<br />
thanks for caring;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-37346476096674257012019-12-31T08:33:00.002-05:002019-12-31T08:33:20.540-05:00HOT DUMPS<b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">snow day</span></b>!!!<div>
yup.</div>
<div>
<b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b> was<i> not </i>a hotbed of fun and excitement, </div>
<div>
but i was a whole helluva lot warmer there than </div>
<div>
at the <b><i><span style="color: yellow;">Folk Life & Liberty Fortress</span></i></b>, </div>
<div>
where the power kept failing over and over again,</div>
<div>
and the dark of the day was invading all corners of the ol' haunted house.</div>
<div>
that's cool.</div>
<div>
a <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">snow day</span></b> means anything can happen.</div>
<div>
like, there could be a giant bonfire of leftover christmas boxes and papers.</div>
<div>
(and there was)</div>
<div>
or,</div>
<div>
there could be shoveling mountains of plow-packed snow from both ends </div>
<div>
of my J-shaped driveway.</div>
<div>
(and there was)</div>
<div>
or,</div>
<div>
there might even be a fresh hot batch of DUMPS ON MY FACE.</div>
<div>
(and there was)</div>
<div>
F* yes, friends. check the teleport:</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIUXtXYCOCoN42M20VUvkLN4_P-uMjOm_zoYqNzgJAjdXT5ixsAIKbGSwJf0aaAkTmMaY-ctywY1pVM3GR4porC7p2-SE7EtqiyVMdbxodOC0FD2eL3_tn-osc_qvWz5PVD-6P_L-tKoqy/s1600/hot_dumps_mushroom_cabbage_ginge_scallion.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIUXtXYCOCoN42M20VUvkLN4_P-uMjOm_zoYqNzgJAjdXT5ixsAIKbGSwJf0aaAkTmMaY-ctywY1pVM3GR4porC7p2-SE7EtqiyVMdbxodOC0FD2eL3_tn-osc_qvWz5PVD-6P_L-tKoqy/s400/hot_dumps_mushroom_cabbage_ginge_scallion.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
WU-<span style="font-size: large;">TANG</span>! </div>
<div>
that's right, b!tches-</div>
<div>
i went all in on 21 jackpottin' powerful homemade <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert </span></b>vegan dumplings,</div>
<div>
and FIVE motherF*ing SAUUUUUUUUCES!!!</div>
<div>
the interiors of the dumplings are SO good...</div>
<div>
charred shredded cabbage, blackened on a HOT pan, with a dab of sesame oil.</div>
<div>
plus finely minced red onion, green onion, carrot, cilantro, and mushrooms.</div>
<div>
AND there's a lotta microplaned garlic and grated skin-on organic ginger, too.</div>
<div>
and you gotta get ground mustard and black pepper and sichuan red pepper</div>
<div>
and rice vinegar and tamari and <b>GPOP</b>, too.</div>
<div>
i don't measure anything for this part.</div>
<div>
exxxtra filling is great,. because now i can make exxxtra dumplings, y'know?</div>
<div>
the cabbage has bigger flavor when it's charred. </div>
<div>
i kept it in wedges throughout the process.</div>
<div>
the mushrooms were dry-fried in a big pan before i added them to a food processor</div>
<div>
with a quarter of a red onion, the bottom half of a bunch of scallions, </div>
<div>
a whole carrot, and three cloves of garlic, where i pulsed it that up to a crumbly consistency.</div>
<div>
did i also add that <i><b>trader joe's</b></i> umami mushroom powder?</div>
<div>
F* yeah i did.</div>
<div>
then i added it all together in the hot pan, and let it sizzle until i added all those spices.</div>
<div>
if i'm taking a hot dump to <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">eleven</span></i></b>, it's gotta have ALLLLL the hottness in there.</div>
<div>
...and these do.</div>
<div>
i made the filling the night before, </div>
<div>
and let it hang out with fresh cilantro and scallion in the fridge until i was ready.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
the wrappers are easy, but also pretty powerful.</div>
<div>
in my stand mixer i combined:</div>
<div>
1 cup + 2 T <i><b>king arthur</b></i> ap flour;</div>
<div>
1 T dried crushed shallot;</div>
<div>
1 T black sesame seeds;</div>
<div>
1/4 tsp sea salt;</div>
<div>
1 T minced green onion;</div>
<div>
1/3 cup + warm water-</div>
<div>
and i beat that up with a dough hook and got it beaten up into a shiny ball of dough.</div>
<div>
that took a minute, and a little more water, too.</div>
<div>
y'gotta cover it with plastic and rest the dough for like half an hour at least.</div>
<div>
then, roll it out on a well-floured surface, and cut out all the circles.</div>
<div>
mine are 3". and like i mentioned, there were 21. that's a lot.</div>
<div>
but also, that's what you want.</div>
<div>
less than <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">eleven</span></i></b> dumps make you a loser.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
fill 'em with a spoonful of that good stuff, fold 'em over, and pinch the edges together,</div>
<div>
then crimp 'em and give 'em a crescent bend.</div>
<div>
nobody likes an ugly dumpling.</div>
<div>
ugly ducklings have their purpose, but unattractive dumplings are NOT invited.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
i fried mine in a blend of very hot sesame and olive oil- like, a teaspoon of each.</div>
<div>
and after arranging them in 3 rows in a 10" nonstick pan, </div>
<div>
i let them sizzle and sear just a baby bit, like two minutes, </div>
<div>
before i added a slurry of hot water and flour- </div>
<div>
a spoonful of flour in a few tablespoons of liquid,</div>
<div>
and i dumped that into the screaming-hot pan, lidded it, </div>
<div>
and let the water absorb and disappear, </div>
<div>
but with the doughy thickening doing some extra bulking-up </div>
<div>
along the sides of my little pouches.</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaenm8p06XBdIyx96U8O2O5N3jWwBeld7gLNaavwQ9GuANiysK9i0ruEaMPiAa0Pochf8hqpx8iNIIEpG2KaJm1Hm-3PGCuQdEscA-H6RqgVqiUi0D70P4uQey5nPUIBhLyB7jkGzsC8Dn/s1600/crispy_sesame_scallion_dumps_12_30_19.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaenm8p06XBdIyx96U8O2O5N3jWwBeld7gLNaavwQ9GuANiysK9i0ruEaMPiAa0Pochf8hqpx8iNIIEpG2KaJm1Hm-3PGCuQdEscA-H6RqgVqiUi0D70P4uQey5nPUIBhLyB7jkGzsC8Dn/s400/crispy_sesame_scallion_dumps_12_30_19.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
YES!!</div>
<div>
i gave them a flip, and i added some red chili oil, </div>
<div>
and gave them another 'nother couple minutes to get browned up even MORE.</div>
<div>
i was not about to let the last dumplings of 2019 be weak ones, neighbors.</div>
<div>
look at that crispiness!</div>
<div>
i garnished them with fresh ripped leaves of cilantro,</div>
<div>
and pea shoots,</div>
<div>
and scallion <b><span style="color: #d9ead3; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<i><span style="font-size: large;">a</span></i>nkles</span></b>.</div>
<div>
look at the textures. look at the golden goodness. look at the extra bottom thiccc jauns.</div>
<div>
i impressed myself.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
so, you already know that <b><span style="font-size: large;">too much is the right amount</span></b>, right?</div>
<div>
well,</div>
<div>
what about those FIVE separate sexxxy SAUCES?!</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOBRyA5IRniTddqdJyI_bqPx7twmt0XkyL2_uhilQGmvLoeem_Y5BNZzuisvI8bwenJPuNgbMfWpbVIm85nb6UEHJQeUjwwjrc4F30CWUVB16xWSG6WLo0VTrcwJXieIqoAcC4xev0UGiY/s1600/FIVESAUCESFORTHE+BOSSES.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOBRyA5IRniTddqdJyI_bqPx7twmt0XkyL2_uhilQGmvLoeem_Y5BNZzuisvI8bwenJPuNgbMfWpbVIm85nb6UEHJQeUjwwjrc4F30CWUVB16xWSG6WLo0VTrcwJXieIqoAcC4xev0UGiY/s400/FIVESAUCESFORTHE+BOSSES.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
c'mon.</div>
<div>
if you can't appreciate the diversity and intensity </div>
<div>
and the over-the-top optimization available to each bite of each dumpling</div>
<div>
then you are probably an A*-hole.</div>
<div>
and that's no joke.</div>
<div>
you wanna know about each one?</div>
<div>
okay. here we go:</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">* </span></b></div>
<div>
<b>HOMEMADE RED CHILI OIL!</b></div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
heat up about half a cup of vegetable oil to like 350 degrees.</div>
<div>
in a small ceramic bowl, combine:</div>
<div>
black pepper;</div>
<div>
crushed red pepper;</div>
<div>
sichuan peppercorns;</div>
<div>
whole dried red chili, partially crushed;</div>
<div>
ground korean red chili flakes;</div>
<div>
paprika;</div>
<div>
sesame seeds;</div>
<div>
cayenne;</div>
<div>
all of that, shaken in by eye,</div>
<div>
with whatever proportions you feel might taste best.</div>
<div>
i mean, you know what you like-</div>
<div>
and with about half a cup of hot oil poured over the whole thing,</div>
<div>
you will toast everything up while cooling it off fairly quickly-</div>
<div>
then add a drop of sesame oil to kick it into high gear,</div>
<div>
and also, maybe a touch of hot paprika for flavor and color</div>
<div>
it's more nutty than hot, </div>
<div>
and it's F*ing delicious and red and awesome all at once.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span></b></div>
<div>
<b>SWEET SICHUAN SOY SAUCE!</b></div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
this one is F*ing tiiiiiiiight AF.</div>
<div>
i didn't need a ton, but i made more than enough-</div>
<div>
1/3 cup of tamari;</div>
<div>
1 T sugar;</div>
<div>
1 T brown sugar;</div>
<div>
a dash of fennel, dried chili, dried ginger, a pinch of peri-peri chili spice,</div>
<div>
a drop of lime juice, black pepper and a just few sichuan peppercorns,</div>
<div>
all slowwwww-simmered until it's thiccc.</div>
<div>
y'all think you be knowin'- but y'all don't be knowin'.</div>
<div>
now you do kinda know a little... but until you make it, </div>
<div>
you can't truly appreciate how <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b> it is.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span></b></div>
<div>
<b>SESAME GINGER PEANUT SAUCE!</b></div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
a tablespoon of peanut butter;</div>
<div>
two teaspoons of tamari;</div>
<div>
a drop of toasted sesame oil;</div>
<div>
a dash of white and black sesame seeds;</div>
<div>
1/4" grated fresh ginger;</div>
<div>
1 tsp rice vinegar;</div>
<div>
1 tsp agave;</div>
<div>
a dash of chili flake;</div>
<div>
a pinch of <b>G</b>arlic <b>P</b>owder... </div>
<div>
it's very rich.</div>
<div>
it's very good.</div>
<div>
it goes great with the sweet soy,</div>
<div>
and even better with the next sauce:</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span></b></div>
<div>
<b>SMOKY SRIRACHA CHILI SAUCE!</b></div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
5 tsp sriracha;</div>
<div>
1/2 tsp toasted sesame seeds;</div>
<div>
1/2 tsp rice vinegar;</div>
<div>
2 drops liquid smoke;</div>
<div>
a shake of <b>GPOP</b>;</div>
<div>
two shakes of habanero ho'sauce;</div>
<div>
a pinch of powdered sugar;</div>
<div>
1/2 tsp tamari;</div>
<div>
a drop or two of sesame oil.</div>
<div>
HOT!</div>
<div>
but not offensive or intrusive or distracting.</div>
<div>
it's just a little zap of extra-tangy spice, and that's nicey-nice.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
also, after all that, there's also the old standby.</div>
<div>
the original.</div>
<div>
the site-specific situationally-appropriate SAUCE that started it all.</div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span></b></div>
<div>
<b>CUSTOM DUMP SAUCE!!</b></div>
<div>
-</div>
<div>
3 T tamari;</div>
<div>
1 T rice vinegar;</div>
<div>
1 tsp powdered sugar;</div>
<div>
1 tsp agave;</div>
<div>
1/4 tsp sesame oil;</div>
<div>
<b>GPOP</b>, ground mustard, black pepper.</div>
<div>
1 clove grated garlic;</div>
<div>
1 small bud of grated ginger;</div>
<div>
3-4 crushed sichuan peppercorns;</div>
<div>
a scoop of toasted sesame seeds;</div>
<div>
a pinch of fresh green onion;</div>
<div>
a few drops of ho'sauce-</div>
<div>
stirred -up and allowed to marinate all damned day.</div>
<div>
this one gets better with time.</div>
<div>
and when it is DUMPLING TIME,</div>
<div>
this is what you need to make it <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b> o'clock.</div>
<div>
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">***********</span></b></div>
<div>
2019 is just about done.</div>
<div>
and it's another <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">snow day</span></b>.</div>
<div>
it's wet and cold and icy and snowy and it looks beautiful and terrible outside.</div>
<div>
it's still coming down.</div>
<div>
i'm thinking about this year.</div>
<div>
i'm thinking about my whole life.</div>
<div>
i'm thinking about love.</div>
<div>
i'm thinking about business.</div>
<div>
i'm thinking about the future.</div>
<div>
i'm thinking about right now.</div>
<div>
i'm thinking too much, and it's making me tired.</div>
<div>
i'm grateful for all the enormous events this year provided.</div>
<div>
i'm grateful for the old people and the new people and the newest person,</div>
<div>
and i'm positively electrified with the prospect of a better tomorrow.</div>
<div>
i've got more to say about all of this.</div>
<div>
and i will write it down before we start a whole new year.</div>
<div>
but right now i have to work off some of that dumpling feast with </div>
<div>
an hour or two of snow removal.</div>
<div>
snow man, snow man, yeah that's me;</div>
<div>
<i><b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">NQNS.....</span></b></i></div>
Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-53674716207811598132019-12-30T08:37:00.001-05:002019-12-30T08:37:32.185-05:00BUNDTS!<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">breezy </span></i></b>got me a little mini cake pan<br />
and it is CUTE.<br />
i made some mini cakes in it because that is the only thing it can be used for.<br />
they're really tasty, and also really cute.<br />
also,<br />
when i flipped them out of the little mini cake cups<br />
i immediately noticed that they do sorta look just a little teentsy weentsy<br />
itty-bitty tiny mini baby bit like buttholes.<br />
i'm not sayin;......i'm just sayin'.<br />
and they're not any less cute which makes me excited.<br />
dudes,<br />
baby bundts!!<br />
that's adorable.<br />
lemon walnut fluffy babies!!!<br />
i'll brighten winter with citrus whenever i want, and none of you can tell me otherwise.<br />
got it?<br />
alright, then....look:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDihxp11aw7bl4prXJlf2G0XcY58SaoUFaZwclv6aRidZGnMlrWApb_cQE2KwMWxadNek4vDSkiR7OnHxOFjyFx14IfoTo2ovEijVBRNKlpIggHdoid7WaBfnecxGXOK9HBpqqxKWlEbaJ/s1600/lemon_walnut_butthole_babies.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDihxp11aw7bl4prXJlf2G0XcY58SaoUFaZwclv6aRidZGnMlrWApb_cQE2KwMWxadNek4vDSkiR7OnHxOFjyFx14IfoTo2ovEijVBRNKlpIggHdoid7WaBfnecxGXOK9HBpqqxKWlEbaJ/s400/lemon_walnut_butthole_babies.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
KUH-YOOOOOOOOOT.<br />
i ate way too many of them.<br />
i don't regret it.<br />
walnuts are good for you.<br />
lemons are great for you.<br />
cake is always invited.<br />
all together, a real winner was freshly-baked and enjoyed by myself,<br />
and eventually by a group of hungry clients,<br />
and also two newish vegans who were coincidentally getting tattooed at the studio,<br />
and even <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">dylan</span></i></b> and <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">nate</span></i></b><br />
although one of them is mildly allergic.<br />
that's how good they looked.<br />
y'all ever flirt with discomfort to enjoy a fluffy sponge of joy?<br />
yep.<br />
that's how we do it. <br />
i was inspired by the cuteness of the pan, man.<br />
i HAD to employ it in some winter morning therapy.<br />
every time i make sense out of making up a recipe<br />
i feel just a touch more equipped to handle the day.<br />
and it's yesterday's tomorrow, so i at least endured it.<br />
you wanna make some light and fluffy magic cakes?<br />
i will tell you whatcha gotta do:<br />
-<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
<b>LEMON WALNUT BABIES!</b><br />
-<br />
preheat your oven to 350℉<br />
-<br />
get yourself a mini-muffin tin or one of these redheaded-hottness-supplied pans<br />
-<br />
in a medium mixing bowl,<br />
cream together:<br />
1/2 cup sugar;<br />
1/4 tsp salt;<br />
1 tsp vanilla;<br />
1/4 tsp lemon extract;<br />
1/2 lemon zest;<br />
1/2 lemon juice<br />
1/4 cup (4 T) softened vegan butter.<br />
get that all creamy and smooth, then stir in:<br />
2 T plain vegan yogurt;<br />
1 cup <b><i>king arthur </i></b>ap flour;<br />
1 tsp baking powder;<br />
1/2 tsp baking soda;<br />
1/2 cup nondairy milk;<br />
1/2 cup chopped walnuts.<br />
whip that until it's fluffy, and spoon it evenly into the 24 compartments of your pan.<br />
bake them for 15ish+ minutes or until a tester comes away clean,<br />
and let 'em cool before you ice 'em.<br />
that's just ka-powdered sugar, lemon juice, and a touch of vanilla.<br />
did i hit 'em with a bunch of lemon zest <b><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<i><span style="font-size: large;">a</span></i>nkles</span></b>?<br />
obviously.<br />
what am i?<br />
an A*-hole?<br />
i know what's up, and it's MORE zest.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
we're having a <span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>snow day</b></span> in the woodsly goodness.<br />
i wonder if my neighbors will be around.<br />
if they're not, i'm going to upcycle a whole lot of cardboard,<br />
and have a raging-hot short-lived fire.<br />
those are the best when it's snowy.<br />
i suppose i'll get the chance to tattoo some pickup-truckin' neckheads in boots today.<br />
they love driving on bad roads.<br />
and they love to get reg-tattz.<br />
personally, i love dumplings.<br />
i think i'll be sure to make some of those at some point today.<br />
the year is ending, and i think taking some dumps to the face is in order.<br />
so, slick roads and sick tatts and slick dumplings and sick custom red chili oil<br />
are all where the day seems to be headed.<br />
i already lost power twice today.<br />
that's encouraging.<br />
why not end the year in the dark;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-24844424011187403062019-12-30T07:51:00.003-05:002019-12-30T07:51:37.610-05:00BAMMERZhow many vacationers have come into the studio while we're tattooing,<div>
because they think we're the pizza place?</div>
<div>
.......a F*ing LOT.</div>
<div>
and how many of them leave realllllly quickly, after making the 'OH!' noise?</div>
<div>
100%</div>
<div>
and what number of those folks close the door behind them</div>
<div>
after they realize their mistake</div>
<div>
and do the head-down shuffle-step skedaddle twelve feet further down the porch?</div>
<div>
ummmm, </div>
<div>
that'd be almost none of them.</div>
<div>
but, </div>
<div>
it isn't it winter, and obviously cold, </div>
<div>
and also pretty stoopid to not know to close a door?</div>
<div>
uh huh.</div>
<div>
i'm not saying these are bad people, </div>
<div>
but i am suggesting they're bad at being people.</div>
<div>
maybe they're just so psyched about pizza </div>
<div>
that they don't know what to do with themselves.</div>
<div>
i've been there, bro. i see you.</div>
<div>
but i also know how doors work.</div>
<div>
just sayin'.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>AMPERSAND TATTOO</b></span> has a sign that says '<b><span style="font-size: large;">no pizza here</span></b>',</div>
<div>
because some folks don't even recognize their mistake </div>
<div>
until they're all the way inside the studio and see us very clearly NOT making pizza.</div>
<div>
that's no joke-</div>
<div>
we have no pizza there.</div>
<div>
and we actually love pizza but, i mean, c'mon.</div>
<div>
there've been at <i>least</i> twenty people who effed that up this weekend.</div>
<div>
if you've been by the shop, you already know that there are GIANT signs </div>
<div>
on the windows that say <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b>,</div>
<div>
and there's a sign on the door, too.</div>
<div>
yep.</div>
<div>
so shoutouts to illiterates and pizza-obsessed no-attention-payers, i guess.</div>
<div>
<div>
meanwhile i'm out here doing those phone-bill tattz.</div>
<div>
y'know?</div>
</div>
<div>
like when you gotta pay that phone bill, these are the ones that make that possible.</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjno0odLk4tg8KIUcmDjUiL0nLNUNrX8rPTkaweTLsyk5X844ggVrKPTd1ixlLykDnht7n2W8QoWUE8djwer6CkZv6NGVeZMuGmPJE4Rmh1bSE-zH4FDAGTzUKH5XT3O-xTSjTBoe6HEdce/s1600/dead_bro_heart.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjno0odLk4tg8KIUcmDjUiL0nLNUNrX8rPTkaweTLsyk5X844ggVrKPTd1ixlLykDnht7n2W8QoWUE8djwer6CkZv6NGVeZMuGmPJE4Rmh1bSE-zH4FDAGTzUKH5XT3O-xTSjTBoe6HEdce/s320/dead_bro_heart.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<div>
dead guy tributes.</div>
<div>
we do that.</div>
<div>
how about matchy tattz for home-tatt getters out in a real studio for the first time?</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEispvOVzzVX5n5od03mLYFG-u11w8ZuJMQpnOA8sRc8NH4Kzh5oWmdFo6AuQKY28ahQBiVBBGJ35PlM1Ei5tSRc9B18VOhMe_RAHYLD3IXS_SgyjaeF6FStrk_VqZLGGlCv9wgxig7E6238/s1600/matchy_rockets.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEispvOVzzVX5n5od03mLYFG-u11w8ZuJMQpnOA8sRc8NH4Kzh5oWmdFo6AuQKY28ahQBiVBBGJ35PlM1Ei5tSRc9B18VOhMe_RAHYLD3IXS_SgyjaeF6FStrk_VqZLGGlCv9wgxig7E6238/s320/matchy_rockets.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
<div>
we do that, too.</div>
<div>
will i fill up a day with baby tattoos and do each one like i'm excited?</div>
<div>
well a grand don't ever come for free, </div>
<div>
and those pizza pursuers don't ever accidentally order</div>
<div>
a large tattoo with a side of garlic knots from us and forget all about the spot next door.</div>
<div>
so until money starts falling into my wallet for talking sh!t and baking cake,</div>
<div>
it's tatty-boi bambam time every time.</div>
<div>
oh, and now that i consider it:</div>
<div>
based on the amount of impact we can hear from bodies and tables colliding </div>
<div>
with the shared interior wall between us and the pizza joint,</div>
<div>
those muther'uckers ARE that psyched about pizza.</div>
<div>
they're suplexing their pepperonis together about it.</div>
<div>
i want our clients to start bodyslamming each other into the walls about it.</div>
<div>
after they're cleaned off and wrapped up, of course.</div>
<div>
no need to spread that home-tat 'itis onto the framed art, man.</div>
<div>
for realsies.</div>
<div>
i might F* around and make a pizza and tattoo myself</div>
<div>
then sail my whole body straight through the window of the pizza spot, </div>
<div>
butt-A* and face first, </div>
<div>
and leave their damned door open behind me on the way to the hospital.</div>
<div>
you don't know me;</div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">NQNS.....</span></i></b></div>
Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-51838483691362082112019-12-29T07:47:00.002-05:002019-12-29T07:47:36.818-05:00TAT-HANDyou wanna get a hand tattoo?<br />
i got you.<br />
you want it to be an apocalypse gas mask?<br />
i got you.<br />
you want A-bomb mushroom clouds reflected in the eyes?<br />
yo, i GOT you.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjygGSl4RXgPOQt0XqMkBbulaXzQRwP9jpnUjxZLZZQ_Hkn4aJOG8J8Bl8Zn1wSssPu7OycvJwY0yNuaanrnAhyphenhyphenqtDtPoqbGlE6q9_IQU-MHHxXSuUHydrac6sbik6hU5I74Z1u89XnWyKT/s1600/hand_mask_tatt.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjygGSl4RXgPOQt0XqMkBbulaXzQRwP9jpnUjxZLZZQ_Hkn4aJOG8J8Bl8Zn1wSssPu7OycvJwY0yNuaanrnAhyphenhyphenqtDtPoqbGlE6q9_IQU-MHHxXSuUHydrac6sbik6hU5I74Z1u89XnWyKT/s400/hand_mask_tatt.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
yep.<br />
yeah,<br />
hand tattz.<br />
eh, it's just another day at <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b>.<br />
you need some extremities decorated?<br />
we're extremely ready;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">NQNS.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-33070779725979678252019-12-29T07:33:00.001-05:002019-12-29T07:33:08.934-05:00'TATOESso,<br />
<i>does</i> food taste better if the fork says <b>vegan</b> on it?<br />
yup.<br />
potatoes, hot and crisp, out of a 460 degree oven already taste good.<br />
now imagine you're using a <i>vegan</i> fork, bro.<br />
uh-huh.<br />
hahahha.<br />
c'mon.<br />
you like it:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDqANIjdWch1zgY2X8R_E25FgBeHil8vVFIGGS2MZ80xwoIFzhM9XFeVIv8CabFyfLkLnieHyAIEEAV0DF_keExouywO1083_eK4Ea6aEgqPhTj2dANmzbVqr9-dLiZ65Wmls3yxX7gCo/s1600/curry_crisp_homeboyfries.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDqANIjdWch1zgY2X8R_E25FgBeHil8vVFIGGS2MZ80xwoIFzhM9XFeVIv8CabFyfLkLnieHyAIEEAV0DF_keExouywO1083_eK4Ea6aEgqPhTj2dANmzbVqr9-dLiZ65Wmls3yxX7gCo/s400/curry_crisp_homeboyfries.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
THREE POTATOES,<br />
because i don't even care.<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">too much is the right amount</span></b>,<br />
and more potatoes is supposedly the key to more joy in your life.<br />
curry powder, cayenne pepper, black pepper, turmeric, smoked paprika,<br />
<b>G</b>arlic <b>P</b>owder, <b>O</b>nion<b> P</b>owder, salt and olive oil...<br />
tossed together for a big ol' late-december breakfast.<br />
i'll take some solid gold skin-on homeboyfries anyday.<br />
on the ones- i roasted them in a single layer on parchment<br />
and once they were fully cooked,<br />
i drizzled a little MORE olive oil on the top of 'em to sizzle and crisp 'em up.<br />
that's how you get 'em right.<br />
and when they're right?<br />
that's when the whole day veers away from the teetering totter<br />
of a razor's edge of epic failure and back onto solid ground.<br />
...for a few hours at least.<br />
and when you plate 'em with scallion and cilantro <b><span style="color: #d9ead3; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<i><span style="font-size: large;">a</span></i>nkles</span></b>,<br />
there's almost something that tastes like hope in your heart.<br />
almost.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiElhih-aUostVfAezT06XAoqD9F4lmbltxbFkGImD_-MOboYFT39YTqFj1Fem748EM0UrkA8aop-yUMyG720OXA9FqyXkZKMgZmdL8FzUTunhETGrEQcJyomnWLvllxTb97yf1V3j45kEo/s1600/very_vegan_curry_babies.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiElhih-aUostVfAezT06XAoqD9F4lmbltxbFkGImD_-MOboYFT39YTqFj1Fem748EM0UrkA8aop-yUMyG720OXA9FqyXkZKMgZmdL8FzUTunhETGrEQcJyomnWLvllxTb97yf1V3j45kEo/s400/very_vegan_curry_babies.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
they really are pretty great, though.<br />
they were so perfectly spiced and seasoned<br />
that i didn't even need any smoky sriracha ketchup or nothin'.<br />
potatoes and spices and that's it.<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b>.<br />
spuds so good,<br />
even a couple of clients yesterday brought up how good they be lookin'.<br />
and y'all can act like they don't be lookin'.....<br />
but they<i> BE LOOKIN'</i>...<br />
mmhmm.<br />
that's a thing: my potatoes be lookin'.<br />
and the folks who appreciate <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b> have noticed it.<br />
but, like, for real-<br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">nate</span></i></b>'s clients commented on the visual deliciousness.<br />
i s'pose that's kind of the reason to take the picture in the first place.<br />
they can't have any, though.<br />
my plates aren't for just anybody.<br />
and of course the one person i'd love to impress probably didn't get a glimpse at all.<br />
ah.<br />
that's how it is, man.<br />
because you know i had somebody in mind when i made 'em,<br />
and i was using that Xmas-gifty fork from her while i ate 'em.<br />
that jabby-jammer <i>does</i> make them taste better, btw.<br />
because there's love in each tine, and fittingly,<br />
they're sharp and stabby just like us.<br />
awww.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
now if only i could figure out how to be so F*ing adept at anything else.<br />
2020 is coming in hot,<br />
and i'm still tattooing like i'm living in 1999.<br />
sure, i can cook my A* off;<br />
but where's the next-level mastery of interpersonal relations?<br />
i need a SAGA.<br />
some lightning-striking viking sh!t.<br />
or something like that,<br />
preferably with a side of potatoes and this sentimental stabber, too;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-70394551615072822012019-12-27T08:53:00.001-05:002019-12-27T08:53:21.720-05:00APIZZAif you don't know, you're fired.<br />
pizza is dope.<br />
pizza is <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b>.<br />
pizza is what's up.<br />
but if you're really-real,<br />
and you've been naughty enough to get coal,<br />
then you're on the right path,<br />
because new haven-style coal-fired APIZZA<br />
is the power and the glory and the way and the light and the truth.<br />
...and that's a fact.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF1KGor740PlbnbjKwDKNNrcTIm8RLY6-eYDcLX8S1tBhaA2jNj93zoDbbLoxQnoGYIA7dAHhLsFWMWli7MDrzCQZzffmTXqtNGHGvsoaX0JUkboE5y6TaD2bpgQ_BO4yv07Zae97XXleK/s1600/apizza.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF1KGor740PlbnbjKwDKNNrcTIm8RLY6-eYDcLX8S1tBhaA2jNj93zoDbbLoxQnoGYIA7dAHhLsFWMWli7MDrzCQZzffmTXqtNGHGvsoaX0JUkboE5y6TaD2bpgQ_BO4yv07Zae97XXleK/s400/apizza.jpg" width="365" /></a><br />
shouts to <i><b><span style="font-size: large;">breezy</span></b></i> for coming through with the sentimental nostalgia<br />
and the allegiance and the dedication for this southern connecticut apizza pie guy.<br />
that's AH-BEETZ, for those of you pronouncing it ah-peet-sah.<br />
get it right.<br />
there's a lotta history, and it's all right there in the book.<br />
i come from a place where pizza is a way of life,<br />
and i think it's sweet she provided me with a long-distance reconnect with that<br />
rich italian-american history from my birthplace.<br />
i want to pass on that love and that passion and that process to all the kids.<br />
i want pizza partners, pizza pals, pizza princes and princesses.<br />
i want white pie and sicilian and deep-dish and flatbread.<br />
i want double dough and stuffed crust and fully-loaded extra-larges.<br />
i LOVE pizza,<br />
and i love christmas when it works out for everybody.<br />
and it's F*ing awesome to get good gifts from someone who knows you.<br />
i am grateful for the intimacy behind the items.<br />
that means a whole lot more than just some wrapped-up stuff.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
there's weather coming.<br />
i mean, it's winter.<br />
so that's expected.<br />
will i make pizza tonight?<br />
i think it's only right.<br />
for real, i've got the shirt.<br />
i've got the dough.<br />
i've got the sauce.<br />
i've got the fondness and the feelings and the hunger.<br />
pizza is the only other redhead i even like.<br />
y'know?<br />
and it's a whole lot crustier than the other one.<br />
i dunno.<br />
it's all a F*ing mess.<br />
every day, every night, everywhere-<br />
here and there and in-between.<br />
a blanket of snow might at least make it quiet outside,<br />
while it's a stormswept raging ugly sloppy typhoon in my head;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">nqns.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-89832745823576669622019-12-27T08:21:00.001-05:002019-12-27T08:21:05.361-05:00PAPAthis is dope:<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60EeRZtIiwA6Pymkhz6tuTV1uQH30NO_WxejC9U7grn0WfsEWU5T_6A52b2spXVv0i0JzXCdVmQ8ucW_m5WtZNX3bUvWYczg2tfAhYg8N0Cf1xPUXz2S9Wkz0appEj9fsgmAnyHRDeqBW/s1600/forks_over_knives.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60EeRZtIiwA6Pymkhz6tuTV1uQH30NO_WxejC9U7grn0WfsEWU5T_6A52b2spXVv0i0JzXCdVmQ8ucW_m5WtZNX3bUvWYczg2tfAhYg8N0Cf1xPUXz2S9Wkz0appEj9fsgmAnyHRDeqBW/s400/forks_over_knives.jpg" width="300" /></a><br /><div>
yeah!</div>
<div>
if you can get it customized, you usually should.</div>
<div>
it just makes a good thing even better.</div>
<div>
one fork is a weird present.</div>
<div>
but one <i>custom</i> fork is molto <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b>.</div>
</div>
<div>
and i'm gonna eat the hell outta some stuff with this one, no doubt.</div>
<div>
when my sisters and i were little,</div>
<div>
my dad used to ask, aloud, to the household:</div>
<div>
"what's daddy's favorite thing to do?"</div>
<div>
and we'd respond, in unison, as we'd been trained to: "hit kids!"</div>
<div>
and he'd say: "and then what's he do?"</div>
<div>
and we'd say: "LAUGH!!"</div>
<div>
then he'd ask one more question:</div>
<div>
"...and then what?"</div>
<div>
and we'd recite the rehearsed line: "hit 'em some MORE!"</div>
<div>
i'm not writing that to condemn my childhood,</div>
<div>
i'm writing it because i LOVE <b><i>krampus</i></b>.</div>
<div>
hahahahhaa.</div>
<div>
that's 100% his thing.</div>
<div>
maybe my dad was part <b><i>krampus</i></b>, that's all i'm suggesting.</div>
<div>
check it:</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY6IlEGKxr27wKjpumAMFuG7kiIO6qHlj67ruHtxQmOQM7DdKPIdcjmexsevPMwIehY1Ujq4UFW8aKRLDCkFVQ4bfD5YrTNrg1PzACV0A9dImw2hiYZgk24llonv7ot26St6RHHvQIbai6/s1600/hit_kids_every_day.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY6IlEGKxr27wKjpumAMFuG7kiIO6qHlj67ruHtxQmOQM7DdKPIdcjmexsevPMwIehY1Ujq4UFW8aKRLDCkFVQ4bfD5YrTNrg1PzACV0A9dImw2hiYZgk24llonv7ot26St6RHHvQIbai6/s400/hit_kids_every_day.jpg" width="346" /></a></div>
<div>
we out here<i> whoopin' </i>on them kids.</div>
<div>
for the record-</div>
<div>
i haven't given out any spankings in my life.</div>
<div>
well,</div>
<div>
not to any disobedient children, anyway.</div>
<div>
a naughty adult, maybe-</div>
<div>
but all the slaps i've ever handed out were consensual, anyway.</div>
<div>
- </div>
<div>
here's the one that gave me big feelings, though:</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_VWkfkJalqer_UYZ-q0L0N8I5_JunitlaBAFFQkBBJHiLIbl3tuFx716hV95eKwMEQygu1NGFjGFtXtwjXzbTIGQMz-LST2OQ3WS37HkjBFG6XN5FqJ1UCRsMGEp2wAXvKWr-hb6LL8Yr/s1600/not_dad.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_VWkfkJalqer_UYZ-q0L0N8I5_JunitlaBAFFQkBBJHiLIbl3tuFx716hV95eKwMEQygu1NGFjGFtXtwjXzbTIGQMz-LST2OQ3WS37HkjBFG6XN5FqJ1UCRsMGEp2wAXvKWr-hb6LL8Yr/s400/not_dad.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div>
ugh.</div>
<div>
papa.</div>
<div>
that's me.</div>
<div>
and my eyes are still wet about it.</div>
<div>
you ever listen to that song <i>landslide</i> by <i><b>fleetwood mac</b></i>,</div>
<div>
but when it was way better because <b><i>smashing pumpkins </i></b>covered it?</div>
<div>
that's what my insides feel like when i look at this little ol' santaman.</div>
<div>
how emo is that?</div>
<div>
probably too much.</div>
<div>
i just think about the happiest one,</div>
<div>
the littlest one,</div>
<div>
and about all the crazy chaos everywhere but in that little heart,</div>
<div>
and how could papa make it better?</div>
<div>
i don't have an answer.</div>
<div>
i just keep humming along-</div>
<div>
<i>can i handle the seasons of my life</i>?</div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">nqns .....</span></i></b></div>
Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-31358286352851656372019-12-27T07:40:00.001-05:002019-12-27T07:40:18.706-05:00JUST RIGHT<b><span style="font-size: large;">too much is the right amount</span></b>.<br />
at <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>X</b></span>mas, it needs to go to <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">XI</span></i></b>.<br />
that's no joke.<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">rules is rules</span></b>.<br />
a little goes a long way, but a lot goes the distance.<br />
and if you say you like chocolate?<br />
i'm getting you fancy chocolate wherever i go,<br />
because i'm thinking of you everywhere i am.<br />
that's just what it is.<br />
if you mention that you might need new socks?<br />
well, if you're older than twelve, socks ARE an acceptable crimbo gift.<br />
if you're little, you should ask for toys. don't be lame.<br />
but anyway, you said might need a new pair for your feet?<br />
then get ready for slipper socks, camp socks, ankle socks, and fancy marled winter socks.<br />
i have a theory-<br />
the way you<i> give</i> gifts is the way you'd like to receive them, too.<br />
so, with that in mind, imagine how pleased i was to open up this:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56fh0VouR8X9G9QSFxlsQwJodWMrNkiw6oRzyzCFLvG6AfpXWs6XXSgBvhQPHwTJNBT6-hXp1ThJgdmxtEs50ohDyc4kbAcfMFD5F3zK-UNjH5TJqyXSTF3kv39lkhKLTitalgDZqzyrz/s1600/rollie_pins.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56fh0VouR8X9G9QSFxlsQwJodWMrNkiw6oRzyzCFLvG6AfpXWs6XXSgBvhQPHwTJNBT6-hXp1ThJgdmxtEs50ohDyc4kbAcfMFD5F3zK-UNjH5TJqyXSTF3kv39lkhKLTitalgDZqzyrz/s400/rollie_pins.jpg" width="391" /></a><br />
hallowe'en!! dinosaurs! dragons! bobotrons! bunnie babies!<br />
nature! steampunk! skulls!<br />
and a patterned rollie-pin of bull F*ing terriers?!<br />
c'mon.<br />
they see me rollin'......they bakin'....<br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">breezy </span></i></b>did the thing the way you're supposed to.<br />
a cute rolling pin was in my stocking.<br />
and i was psyched that now i can make dinosaur sugar cookies, for sure.<br />
but,<br />
that was just a little tease because a whole dang set was waiting under the tree.<br />
i mean, for real, these laser-cuttin' woodworkers are expert.<br />
and that wasn't the only woodgrain goodness i got, either.<br />
nope.<br />
i also got some additions to the triceratops collection, too-<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSfAGJGOuYc0NEL17A9UR8QJcnq1d22pPp1JU21BRX0Y6-OJQKcqdlSgI8bgSxrMosM3ZHqxSCPuSXPqP7qsu9c4HZ12ohHEFTQgElCRCOGdviwfO6tamlaE-eiJTL0l47GvmMNS43lmJf/s1600/triceratops_family.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSfAGJGOuYc0NEL17A9UR8QJcnq1d22pPp1JU21BRX0Y6-OJQKcqdlSgI8bgSxrMosM3ZHqxSCPuSXPqP7qsu9c4HZ12ohHEFTQgElCRCOGdviwfO6tamlaE-eiJTL0l47GvmMNS43lmJf/s320/triceratops_family.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
AWWWWWW.<br />
shoutouts to a whole triceratops family.<br />
...<br />
if you like something, then more of it is usually better.<br />
and if you give something, there should be a positive intention behind it.<br />
there's no gift with less life and love in it than an obligation gift.<br />
like, just skip it, if you're not into it.<br />
on the ones,<br />
i got good stuff.<br />
considerate and intentional and informed gifts.<br />
i felt very lucky on the day.<br />
and i won't forget that;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-76088523037918703212019-12-26T09:24:00.000-05:002019-12-26T09:24:10.463-05:00PEEYEZEEZEEAYYand on christmas eve,<br />
after returning from connecticut,<br />
and finishing up the last bits of wrapping and writing,<br />
and knowing that i had a 4:30 a.m. wake-up call ahead of me, which i somehow<br />
managed to wake up an hour ahead of<br />
like every kid naturally would because who can sleep when santa's coming?<br />
i still felt like something was missing...<br />
and then i realized that what i was craving was a fully-loaded christmas miracle<br />
delivered into my mutha-'ucking mouth.<br />
so, i fired up my oven,<br />
and i started a batch of dough,<br />
and i caramelized some onions,<br />
and steamed some broccoli,<br />
and i sliced some two-tone baby sweet tomatoes,<br />
and i dry-fried some mushrooms,<br />
and <i>minced </i>my <i><b>daiya</b></i> mozzarella, (<b><span style="font-size: large;">rules is rules</span></b>)<br />
and saturated my homemade vegan sausage with smoked paprika and black pepper,<br />
and grabbed the crushed tomatoes and the fried garlic <b><span style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<i><span style="font-size: large;">a</span></i>nkles</span></b>,<br />
and eventually i was really feeling the holiday season all through the house.<br />
uh-huh.<br />
with the help of 485 luscious fahrenheit degrees,<br />
and a few stones,<br />
and the accrued wisdom of thousands of pies,<br />
i had what i wanted:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_hM9K7XriVp-B3-PuuzDl90oPKLIwNwXErpeqtjtuUtkOXm2ck-R2Bj1109qJAzcF6tPJ5fTjV64HgFbum8YHt6UbmRFKwwsUo-1J68fjmbwcTBjq4xBfqG2AWmckZ8VODMqbE2RRAeW/s1600/pizza_party_12_24_19_xmas_eve_sausage_brox_onion_tomato_mushroom_daiya.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_hM9K7XriVp-B3-PuuzDl90oPKLIwNwXErpeqtjtuUtkOXm2ck-R2Bj1109qJAzcF6tPJ5fTjV64HgFbum8YHt6UbmRFKwwsUo-1J68fjmbwcTBjq4xBfqG2AWmckZ8VODMqbE2RRAeW/s400/pizza_party_12_24_19_xmas_eve_sausage_brox_onion_tomato_mushroom_daiya.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!<br />
with that crispy crunchy crrrrrrrrust-<br />
-<br />
you need <b><i>king arthur</i></b> bread flour and you need diastatic malt powder,<br />
and the rest is negotiable...<br />
the table runner is a gift from <b><i><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-size: large;">harvest</span></i></b>.<br />
the bandana bobot napkin is from <b><i><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">maple</span></i></b>.<br />
i waited no seconds to employ them in my pizza experience.<br />
i'm a sloppy sentimental mess.<br />
i'll admit that.<br />
i have too many F*ing feelings about everything.<br />
and i love my people.<br />
ALL of 'em across all of the whole damn expanse of new england.<br />
i'm all stoopid about it, and i'll probably make another 'nother pizza about it.<br />
hell, breezy got me an expert APIZZA shirt.<br />
i'm gonna wear it until it falls off.<br />
if you know, you know,<br />
and if you're good, you're good.<br />
i'm all full of emotions about every aspect of my life.<br />
luckily, i can just go clean up and rearrange <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b>,<br />
and get stressed about that instead of everything else.<br />
changes and changes and changes everywhere,<br />
and pizza to hold it all together.<br />
that's what winter after christmas feels like today;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-86855149224766707622019-12-26T08:38:00.001-05:002019-12-26T08:38:06.782-05:00XMASmy day was great.<br />
the gifts i received were thoughtful.<br />
the time i spanned was beautiful.<br />the feelings i shared were happy and genuine.<br />
everybody had a good time, and it was merry and bright.<br />
Xmas is for kids,<br />
and that was where we were the most successful<br />
even <b><i><span style="color: #660000; font-size: large;">crabtree</span></i></b> was well-adjusted.<br />
happy people, big and small,<br />
and sleepy adults across the days and miles.<br />
that's how it unfolded.<br />
i appreciated everyone, and i felt appreciated,<br />
and we all did alright at doing it right.<br />
that's the best holiday <b><i><span style="color: #f4cccc;">spirit</span></i></b> and <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">memory</span></i></b> anybody could hope for.<br />
i'm intentionally withholding the photojournalism,<br />
but i'm fully expressing the who-ville tripling i felt in my heart.<br />
i am grateful for the time i was given,<br />
and for the jammies and the joy and the christmas cheer;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">nqns.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-62817017356787823792019-12-26T08:31:00.002-05:002019-12-26T08:31:22.779-05:00FOR REAL.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-376lh9EZ7qiW4dxyY_ZmLSzeJZaUYssJMtwEOGFm47cl2I9qo1AIG4SQNPoiSr6yWr2wsk7Juhk0c1mstSuDgXxSjIkcAALHTRxxWqSHBJha_TpuowrI6mp-3QKSGKrSOiF7xD56kQ1n/s1600/da_legna_has_no_shirts.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-376lh9EZ7qiW4dxyY_ZmLSzeJZaUYssJMtwEOGFm47cl2I9qo1AIG4SQNPoiSr6yWr2wsk7Juhk0c1mstSuDgXxSjIkcAALHTRxxWqSHBJha_TpuowrI6mp-3QKSGKrSOiF7xD56kQ1n/s400/da_legna_has_no_shirts.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
...and that's a fact.<br />
-<br />
the place that makes this says they sell shirts,<br />
but they NEVER have any-<br />
so really, what they actually mean is, they <i>could </i>sell shirts,<br />
but they DON'T sell shirts;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">NQNS.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-43707280894768861172019-12-26T08:28:00.001-05:002019-12-26T08:28:27.656-05:00CONNECTICUTthese carocci kids.<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFJU_cY8zLJ3ctehWHR6qDkn4LAgWiPH6BE_vLxIaed3YJDTsXpNid_Fcw87gTvaWgjvGt-baDJKaNTwsdVgTYZgIxdUWELoP6gD4O-ncwM6IjQqgn0ZrobZWZ_3vWYqeMDq7wb1GtVQpL/s1600/irish-twinsies.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFJU_cY8zLJ3ctehWHR6qDkn4LAgWiPH6BE_vLxIaed3YJDTsXpNid_Fcw87gTvaWgjvGt-baDJKaNTwsdVgTYZgIxdUWELoP6gD4O-ncwM6IjQqgn0ZrobZWZ_3vWYqeMDq7wb1GtVQpL/s400/irish-twinsies.jpg" width="400" /></a><br /><div>
yeah.</div>
<div>
and <i>these</i> carocci kids.</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8aHliptRk9_tHIlliB9m7t9pvpwoG9ggSnnmsJs4jcsug-HDHcKI7y0aucZlRPQXhCe27nfiK5hvi5voJClEuav08mcdj0Q5WxOlDo_smgJXBDPsO4CEibdmkSd4uqoGOqVNxxM1xedpr/s1600/caroccis.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8aHliptRk9_tHIlliB9m7t9pvpwoG9ggSnnmsJs4jcsug-HDHcKI7y0aucZlRPQXhCe27nfiK5hvi5voJClEuav08mcdj0Q5WxOlDo_smgJXBDPsO4CEibdmkSd4uqoGOqVNxxM1xedpr/s400/caroccis.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
uh-huh.</div>
<div>
shoutouts to cousin <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">cash</span></i></b>.</div>
<div>
and then there's these carocci kids.</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd0wev9kv1s-HyByftPikWhdI03nkicqhFP0w_XT8SVQwadmiKVAajWGAu7peMXClM501Mu7DjazbhRvysIXCmRUHUXqN9k-WRmh_Sm5a5IvSN9m3IAF2voqKzxqA4ozF_9ukHH_8yCGJf/s1600/triplets.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd0wev9kv1s-HyByftPikWhdI03nkicqhFP0w_XT8SVQwadmiKVAajWGAu7peMXClM501Mu7DjazbhRvysIXCmRUHUXqN9k-WRmh_Sm5a5IvSN9m3IAF2voqKzxqA4ozF_9ukHH_8yCGJf/s400/triplets.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: #660000; font-size: large;">crabtree</span></i></b> was delighted by the attention...</div>
<div>
and of course, the realness eventually comes out-</div>
<div>
shouts to<i> THESE</i> carocci kids.</div>
</div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPI0__nmlkGqJbzWUCdBPKp25Cysp4C1RsNOpLygYvSUsYlu-DOmTmjmtEzL29E1MupsEE1EXOGMwEm3-x4hRWFRbJphexH529fTD8icN2lgQKPgb1EMbQycPyljJgvCD-ZUYhPYc8SnHv/s1600/stinking_caroccis.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPI0__nmlkGqJbzWUCdBPKp25Cysp4C1RsNOpLygYvSUsYlu-DOmTmjmtEzL29E1MupsEE1EXOGMwEm3-x4hRWFRbJphexH529fTD8icN2lgQKPgb1EMbQycPyljJgvCD-ZUYhPYc8SnHv/s400/stinking_caroccis.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div>
yikes.</div>
<div>
that's us.</div>
<div>
and that's connecticut for you,</div>
<div>
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">nqns.....</span></i></b></div>
Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-3999354757013560822019-12-26T08:16:00.002-05:002019-12-26T08:16:21.763-05:00CAKE!<i><b><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">maple</span></b></i> wanted a maple-frosted cake,<br />
so <i><b><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">maple</span></b></i> got a maple-frosted cake:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR0_eCT-LgMxJPlJdvxnI5mzQ9whnjIy8qOeh_PMcxMTbRHbzCKuQvBHOuGVYCEGqI8vstqJlqODg1oktkDvxkN3_rJVcS61AFeiJhaVr9c2nMLdomcm8RN1gm0geFu-QKQQdr_Ktp8Whs/s1600/maple_18_vanilla_maple_cake.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR0_eCT-LgMxJPlJdvxnI5mzQ9whnjIy8qOeh_PMcxMTbRHbzCKuQvBHOuGVYCEGqI8vstqJlqODg1oktkDvxkN3_rJVcS61AFeiJhaVr9c2nMLdomcm8RN1gm0geFu-QKQQdr_Ktp8Whs/s400/maple_18_vanilla_maple_cake.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
EIGHTEENTH BERFDAY MAGIC!!<br />
that's what i do.<br />
i make and i bake and i decorate.<br />
that's vanilla cake in there.<br />
and it's really thick and rich and soft and super-delicious.<br />
you wanna know how?<br />
ok.<br />
check it:<br />
-<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
<b>CAKE!</b><br />
-<br />
preheat your oven to 350℉<br />
-<br />
grease 2 8" pans<br />
-<br />
in your trusty upright stand mixer, with a paddle or whisk in place,<br />
combine:<br />
1 stick (8 T) softened vegan butter;<br />
1/2 tsp salt;<br />
2 tsp vanilla;<br />
1/2 cup vanilla non-dairy yogurt;<br />
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;<br />
1 cup sugar;<br />
1/2 cup light brown sugar.<br />
blend that all up all kinds of soft and thorough, then add:<br />
2 2/3 cups <i><b>king arthur</b></i> ap flour;<br />
2 tsp baking powder;<br />
1 tsp baking soda;<br />
1 pkg vegan vanilla puddin'. (for supreme moistness and exxxtra flavor)<br />
1 1/4 cups vanilla non-dairy milk.<br />
blend it up to a fluffy smooth batter,<br />
and spread it evenly between both pans.<br />
bake it for 30 minutes,<br />
and let it cool completely on a rack to room temperature.<br />
-<br />
then y'gotta frost it, obvi.<br />
-<br />
3 cups of powdered sugar;<br />
1 tsp vanilla;<br />
1/2 tsp maple extract;<br />
1/4 cup maple syrup;<br />
1-2 T non-dairy milk;<br />
8 T vegan butter;<br />
2 T vegan creamchee'.<br />
whisked to mega-fluffiness.<br />
maybe add some <b><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<i><span style="font-size: large;">a</span></i>nkles</span></b>.<br />
those are good for making sure you know it's no ordinary cake,<br />
but rather an <b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b> one.<br />
-<br />
it's always my job to make the cake.<br />
every year for all the years.<br />
and this one was very awesome, as usual.<br />
in fact,<br />
by the next day it was even better.<br />
just like the kids.<br />
they keep getting better.<br />
i keep baking cakes.<br />
eventually, maybe they'll be the ones baking cakes,<br />
and i'll be the one getting better;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-84686445949409211222019-12-26T08:00:00.001-05:002019-12-26T08:00:44.260-05:0018!and now the big kids are BOTH adults.<br />
holy sh!t.<br />
<i><b><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">maple star </span></b></i>is eighteen.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjFw-605dNGPu3p2utgbyL_gsIT9-pmX3jF2HnPYx4IGm5bx1e-RpMEytRlpik5ndfj49ewbugCncbEo1xZw66WkbfXVHPUpiTlFM3gpd4hp8zZ5WnddxUC7xJAtxANuI0Q5F1rbIFCFHZ/s1600/berfday_18_maple-STAR.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjFw-605dNGPu3p2utgbyL_gsIT9-pmX3jF2HnPYx4IGm5bx1e-RpMEytRlpik5ndfj49ewbugCncbEo1xZw66WkbfXVHPUpiTlFM3gpd4hp8zZ5WnddxUC7xJAtxANuI0Q5F1rbIFCFHZ/s400/berfday_18_maple-STAR.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
it's too soon.<br />
they were just my little bitty babies a minute ago.<br />
now,<br />
look at her-<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWEGG5TCQNHZcumDD2YO4fbR6OO_Z7v2Jgr0EAtx9H8Z2yyuR_o_GFyHY3twUL-kvIw4AH3AAXx3AWkQzzbVHs1VhivVN9XZ9CL-htvFzeZiEhGn4ELdmY393YYKsKWHNDJhWm8kTWPT4A/s1600/18_maple_woman.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWEGG5TCQNHZcumDD2YO4fbR6OO_Z7v2Jgr0EAtx9H8Z2yyuR_o_GFyHY3twUL-kvIw4AH3AAXx3AWkQzzbVHs1VhivVN9XZ9CL-htvFzeZiEhGn4ELdmY393YYKsKWHNDJhWm8kTWPT4A/s400/18_maple_woman.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
does she ever hold still in a picture?<br />
sometimes:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHDrPgBZy7gKbHm-tEnkHEF0hh7grD3fEfoe8n6jVrYsKbT4ikBlEEYa4BGAFMvAFgnnQOZujdd6QBUVJJ241vVhHJ117bo6aCj4k15gy-2DqPpBOa5UxbpoeYJKiq-j_6vv4PoJ2kT-E/s1600/eighteen.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHDrPgBZy7gKbHm-tEnkHEF0hh7grD3fEfoe8n6jVrYsKbT4ikBlEEYa4BGAFMvAFgnnQOZujdd6QBUVJJ241vVhHJ117bo6aCj4k15gy-2DqPpBOa5UxbpoeYJKiq-j_6vv4PoJ2kT-E/s400/eighteen.jpg" width="221" /></a><br />
ha!<br />
she's sensitive.<br />
she's thoughtful.<br />
she's considerate.<br />
she's smart.<br />
and she's absolutely lovely.<br />
i can't actually say enough nice things about her,<br />
so let me sum it all up simply-<br />
she's great.<br />
and i love her very, very much.<br />
not just because she's my daughter, but because she's a good person.<br />
i have a hundred percent respect for her and i really admire that she's<br />
optimistic and independent and artistic and invested in her people.<br />
...and now she's a real grown-up.<br />
i can't believe it.<br />
i still remember her big bobble head only walking backwards,<br />
just like it was yesterday.<br />
and here we are, she's in college,<br />
she's driving around in a new car,<br />
she's out pursuing her own interests.<br />
-<br />
she's better than me,<br />
and that's what i always hoped would happen.<br />
i am grateful for all my daughters.<br />
with all my heart, every minute of every single day;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">nqns.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-90776105612083922232019-12-26T07:44:00.001-05:002019-12-26T07:44:13.531-05:00a week laterSO much life unfolds when you aren't writing it down while<br />
sat in front of a computer.<br />
before i left for connecticut,<br />
i made a galette.<br />
and it was crispy, buttery, flaky, and sweet,<br />
as well as rich, tart, and nutty...<br />
basically, it was a F*ing triumph.<br />
wanna see?<br />
you got it-<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFuKQvYcLrnfwbyO0xA5H35O4IwJY3ivHghEUeklyo1uZNXSge5EzjJo3zq8ybYZOm3gTwT-yh9bqcThHYjpQEd4H7ZQrY40dJ22gLidWEncBJpPFEuRutKUX0MxTic5exiryNHCxfPQ5R/s1600/galette_pecan_cran_choco.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFuKQvYcLrnfwbyO0xA5H35O4IwJY3ivHghEUeklyo1uZNXSge5EzjJo3zq8ybYZOm3gTwT-yh9bqcThHYjpQEd4H7ZQrY40dJ22gLidWEncBJpPFEuRutKUX0MxTic5exiryNHCxfPQ5R/s400/galette_pecan_cran_choco.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
that's <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b>, right?<br />
RIGHT?!<br />
yep.<br />
you know it's true-<br />
here, look again, a little closer:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvqVheLdmiZu_NXSsEPeZ2cHM52tMev6f3D-9p7zC3jgozGfLraoxqRrHSUSxpCzR_Zs99-sGVCjc4fJwpN7qGzxs6xz-iemHJOr6yQiB9LQwobdMUvuL9T0xEGWqVHcILG2Yxidq-Xvg/s1600/cran_pecan_chocolate_galette.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvqVheLdmiZu_NXSsEPeZ2cHM52tMev6f3D-9p7zC3jgozGfLraoxqRrHSUSxpCzR_Zs99-sGVCjc4fJwpN7qGzxs6xz-iemHJOr6yQiB9LQwobdMUvuL9T0xEGWqVHcILG2Yxidq-Xvg/s320/cran_pecan_chocolate_galette.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
WORRRD.<br />
that's cranberry sauce, the vanilla-cider perfection that i make from scratch.<br />
and crushed pecans.<br />
and dark chocolate chips.<br />
all the righteous just-rightness of a great pastry is all right here.<br />
-<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
<b>PASTRY!</b><br />
-<br />
in a food processor, combine:<br />
1 stick (8 T) + 3 T COLD vegan butter;<br />
dash of salt;<br />
3 T vegan creamchee';<br />
2 cups king arthur all-purpose flour;<br />
3 T sugar;<br />
1 T powdered sugar;<br />
3 T non-dairy milk + more if necessary-<br />
all pulsed together into a crumby crumbly sticks-together-when-pinched pile<br />
of pulverized pebbly pastry pre-roll.<br />
tightly plastic wrapped and refrigerated for at least an hour,<br />
before getting rolled out on a well-floured surface....<br />
do not bake pastry dough at less than 400℉ or it'll suck.<br />
that's real.<br />
crispy pastry needs heat.<br />
remember that.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
when you combine a bunch of stuff, and it's all good stuff,<br />
you get even better results.<br />
tart, sweet cranberries and dark, rich, chocolate and crunchy sharp pecans<br />
and then smooth buttery crust.<br />
that's everything being excellent at once,<br />
and that's why i ate the whole F*ing thing.<br />
sometimes, y'gotta eat the whole thing.<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">rules is rules</span></b>, man.<br />
and<b><span style="font-size: large;"> too much is the right amount</span></b>.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">***********</span></b><br />
that was over a week ago.<br />
it's after christmas now.<br />
in fact, in years past,<br />
this was when <b><i><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-size: large;">harvest </span></i></b>and <i><b><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;">maple </span></b></i>and i celebrated <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">XI</span></i>-mas</span></b>.<br />
but today, it's just the day i go back to work.<br />
time moves on, and things change,<br />
and i think it's about time to stop fighting that;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-74877118755184505532019-12-19T07:58:00.003-05:002019-12-19T07:58:50.122-05:00piegluten-free vegan dark chocolate chips,<br />
melted with a few tablespoons of non-dairy milk,<br />
a spoonful of vanilla,<br />
a couple tablespoons of cacao,<br />
plus a pressed block of silken tofu,<br />
and a third of a cup of unsweetened flaked coconut.<br />
do you even know what that turns into?<br />
it turns into winter magic.<br />
that's real.<br />
check it out:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_7JKwItkV8NeSRwZIY7xNGoAF4nnM5gySIM6jlsJNEcRfVA9GukgjrIe0BL6hUsYxORZUuqKBz2LfjcAo62Im56uUX7Ac1UJX3zfVHodVEWdykbyDnUZ7N-ZVQ8fX1Iz-WfcDvb2AYkV4/s1600/chocolate_coconut_creme_pie_gf.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_7JKwItkV8NeSRwZIY7xNGoAF4nnM5gySIM6jlsJNEcRfVA9GukgjrIe0BL6hUsYxORZUuqKBz2LfjcAo62Im56uUX7Ac1UJX3zfVHodVEWdykbyDnUZ7N-ZVQ8fX1Iz-WfcDvb2AYkV4/s400/chocolate_coconut_creme_pie_gf.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
CREME PIE.<br />
gluten-free oats, coconut, brown sugar, vanilla, a pinch of salt,<br />
vegan butter, cacao nibs, cacao powder, and a little gf flour,<br />
plus coconut milk, mashed and bashed in a food processor to make a crust.<br />
i mean, a handful of this, a fistful of that,<br />
a shake and a pinch and a dash, and that's what's up.<br />
i baked it at 350℉ for fifteen minutes.<br />
then i added the creme.<br />
then i activated all the best bits.<br />
MORE coconut.<br />
MORE cacao nibs.<br />
<b><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr</span><span style="color: #d9ead3; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>a</i></span><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">nkles</span></b>.<br />
and chocolate frosting, friends.<br />
that's right.<br />
the filling is important.<br />
the crust is negotiable.<br />
i wanted to make sure i could make it good AND gluten-free.<br />
that's important.<br />
that's necessary.<br />
that's how i show my emotions.<br />
i dunno if that's loud communication, but i'm screaming it inside.<br />
love and love and love.<br />
plus chocolate and coconut.<br />
this is a trial run and a successful one.<br />
the next one will be even better;<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><i>never quiet, never soft.....</i></span></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-55211862624010530872019-12-19T07:50:00.003-05:002019-12-19T07:50:38.633-05:00BRRRRRRRRRtuesday was a <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">snow day</span></b>.<br />
and it snowed a bunch,<br />
and all day long, and that was appropriate for december...<br />
it was also a gingebread house day.<br />
it was a homemade pizza day.<br />
it was a nap day.<br />
it was a teamwork day.<br />
it was a good day.<br />
and then yesterday,<br />
there was a secret <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">snow</span></b> half-<b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">day</span></b>.<br />
yup.<br />
like, it just started snowing from out of nowhere.<br />
it was nice-ish out, until i looked behind me out the window<br />
at <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b> at the surprise winter happening<br />
just a few feet away.<br />
and it snowed hard enough to warrant a weather warning for all the<br />
wind and whiteout arctic berserker fury that was blasting the woodsly goodness.<br />
f'real, my phone was warning me about what was happening<br />
actually to me in real time on the roadway home.<br />
hey, phone, i got it. i can see it. but thank you, phone.<br />
-<br />
it's way cold out.<br />
it's crazy windy out.<br />
it's pretty F*ing wintry, for not quite being winter just yet.<br />
but it's close enough, for sure.<br />
i'm feeling that heavy heaviness that comes from this time of year.<br />
sure, the tree full of lights is great.<br />
in fact, it's practically medicine for my weary brain.<br />
but outside, even with a reflective blanket of stormswept white,<br />
it's DARK almost all damned day.<br />
and i'm over here at the <b><i><span style="color: yellow;">Folk Life & Liberty Fortress</span></i></b>,<br />
wrapping presents that don't seem like enough,<br />
and i'm waiting for post office deliveries to maybe boost those stacks.<br />
i've got tattoos to do.<br />
i'm thankful.<br />
i've got the heat on.<br />
i'm lucky.<br />
i'm wearing extra socks.<br />
i'm just a bigfoot sasquatch over here.<br />
and i am thinking about all that's still left to be done.<br />
mostly, this wind is ruining it.<br />
it's very noisy.<br />
it's very bitey.<br />
and right now,<br />
it's making the day worse.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">***********</span></b><br />
it's for the kids.<br />
and as they get bigger, it changes.<br />
but the sense of joy,<br />
or the presence of presents,<br />
or the perception of happiness,<br />
or the wonder of the surprise of the thing is there.<br />
...christmastime, for me, for the last twenty years, has been about giving gifts.<br />
and giving good gifts, at that.<br />
i want that association with the day, with the morning, with the big reveal,<br />
with cinnamon buns or hot cocoa or whatever the eff.<br />
i could literally never get a present ever, and be fine;<br />
but i do feel better seeing kids be happy under the tree,<br />
or next to the orderly pile,<br />
or wherever,<br />
finding out what they've gotten from santa for being nice instead of naughty.<br />
i'm waiting on my lump of coal.<br />
but then again,<br />
on a day like today, at least that'd warm me up a little;<br />
<i><b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></b></i>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-58902404088968300502019-12-17T07:21:00.003-05:002019-12-17T07:21:51.781-05:00DAMNmy very good friend <i><b><span style="font-size: large;">ian</span></b></i> came up to <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b><br />
to get a LOT of his leg tattooed yesterday,<br />
and he came bearing tricerataco holders in every color for christmas,<br />
from him, and <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">chantal</span></i></b>, and <b><i><span style="font-size: large;">albee</span></i></b>,<br />
and he showed up extra early for something extra special.<br />
y'know what is was?<br />
YUP.<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">sandwiches</span></i>.<br />
ha!!!<br />
even when it isn't <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">sandwich week</span></b>,<br />
it's still a great idea to have a sandwich.<br />
facts.<br />
and these were especially<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> expert</span></b> ones.<br />
check it:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJohPXJI0Fm3NCD_fc63239Z0yWRntgA0zTn-k_DZEvpHZvQ1ooYL0Q8FqPKvcPxOBNr_pmWgoJDT7zWA1t5hzAp0MaOEJiFGlHnUrrMO4l8q0lWImF4pN8_7ywxM1Ba47rroM6LVa1yEc/s1600/ill_banh_mi_oh_my_teriyaki_tofu_avocado_sweet_potato_pickles_tempeh_bacon_pickled-peppers_homemade_bread_cilantro_scallion_mayo.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJohPXJI0Fm3NCD_fc63239Z0yWRntgA0zTn-k_DZEvpHZvQ1ooYL0Q8FqPKvcPxOBNr_pmWgoJDT7zWA1t5hzAp0MaOEJiFGlHnUrrMO4l8q0lWImF4pN8_7ywxM1Ba47rroM6LVa1yEc/s400/ill_banh_mi_oh_my_teriyaki_tofu_avocado_sweet_potato_pickles_tempeh_bacon_pickled-peppers_homemade_bread_cilantro_scallion_mayo.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
BIG BANH BANH M'IAN.<br />
homemade bread,<br />
homemade sesame-ginger teriyaki glazed tofu<br />
mashed avocado,<br />
red onion,<br />
pickles,<br />
tempeh bacon,<br />
fried sweet potato circles,<br />
quick-pickled peppers,<br />
toasty sesame seeds, cilantro, and scallion <b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #d9ead3;">spr</span><i><span style="color: #fce5cd; font-size: large;">a</span></i><span style="color: #d9ead3;">nkles</span></span></b>,<br />
and a slap of vegan mayo to complete the look, neighbors.<br />
these sandwiches were 100% NO joke.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSir7D-Q9HCiW3WfmEGodpGuEVADRAcHZrqN4u7Li3J5rF-3w3LleonatqXkp7mGdiDl5o5jmnDyAT0G-Z88ESPoXmvK9U1bkfBhIjQABrSgnWb-6I9jrJmbditWdMPANboSXA89mNLxCL/s1600/banh_m%2527ian.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSir7D-Q9HCiW3WfmEGodpGuEVADRAcHZrqN4u7Li3J5rF-3w3LleonatqXkp7mGdiDl5o5jmnDyAT0G-Z88ESPoXmvK9U1bkfBhIjQABrSgnWb-6I9jrJmbditWdMPANboSXA89mNLxCL/s400/banh_m%2527ian.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">good bread makes better sandwiches</span></b> and it all starts there.<br />
a couple cups of king arthur bread flour.<br />
a fat scoop of vegan butter,<br />
and all the rest of the things i've listed a billion times....<br />
i'm sayin'.<br />
i've made a lot of banh, and they ALL meant somethin'.<br />
that's what's so F*ing cool about 'em.<br />
-<br />
the peppery pickles were so simple-<br />
1/2 cup hot rice wine vinegar,<br />
1 tsp sugar, 1/2 tsp salt, and enough water to cover 1 cup of sliced radish, jalapeno,<br />
sweet baby bell, and red chili peppers. i left that soaking all morning,<br />
and by ten a.m. it was F*ing perfect.<br />
-<br />
tempeh bacon is something we always add, isn't it?<br />
and y'know why we are always gonna keep adding it?<br />
...because it's great.<br />
-<br />
fried sweet potatoes give me a good feeling.<br />
i bet i would've been happy with a red onion,mashed avocado,<br />
and sweet potato disc sandwich.<br />
i mean it.<br />
coconut oil and salt and a splash of water to steam 'em a little,<br />
and you've got thin-sliced slabs of sweet spud charred just enough to give them<br />
that added manliness on each side.<br />
that's dope.<br />
-<br />
pickles, and cilantro and scallions all add some lively greenery<br />
and a whole spectrum of flavors.<br />
that's how you get layers of complexity in something you stuff between buns.<br />
yeah.<br />
you like that.<br />
-<br />
the teriyaki was phenomenal-<br />
1 tsp sesame oil;<br />
1/4 cup tamari;<br />
1 tsp non-GMO organic cornstarch;<br />
1/2 tsp ea <b>GPOP</b> black pepper and cayenne;<br />
1 tsp toasted sesame seeds;<br />
1/2" bud of grated fresh ginger;<br />
2 T rice vinegar;<br />
1 T lemon juice;<br />
2 T brown sugar;<br />
2 tsp agave;<br />
a dash of liquid smoke....<br />
word up.<br />
you ain't never ever even had nothin' so awesome.<br />
....and when you dip your tofu in a little cornstarch and flour mixture,<br />
with sriracha flakes and cayenne and ground coriander in there?<br />
maaaaaaaaaaaaaan.<br />
look:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7AFOzuQOTMu6YLxqQBTQ8ToMA0rDYtWwYo5qO9OKEd-2rtAVBxtUHef53HMIyl3bInsaS0ePJ5MHiRDOh1MWT1bbEuuzbUO8i0DLafkFdK4Udj1FHQnZe0jzuRJa_q7ZAISWxxfeFuYQa/s1600/ian_nbanh_banh.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7AFOzuQOTMu6YLxqQBTQ8ToMA0rDYtWwYo5qO9OKEd-2rtAVBxtUHef53HMIyl3bInsaS0ePJ5MHiRDOh1MWT1bbEuuzbUO8i0DLafkFdK4Udj1FHQnZe0jzuRJa_q7ZAISWxxfeFuYQa/s400/ian_nbanh_banh.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
YO.<br />
that's what's good, b.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
and then we tattooed a bee knee,<br />
a bouncing bunny,<br />
and a sketchy fox,<br />
all around and up his leg.<br />
drawn on with marky-markers,<br />
and tattooed over the course of several hours.<br />
he took his lumps like a stoic soldier,<br />
but i was so spent afterwards i forgot to take a picture of the epic one-take drawings<br />
i made on his body.<br />
f'real, though.<br />
the tattforce was flowing freely yesterday,<br />
and i didn't sketch or redraw NUTHIN'.<br />
ol' <i><b>one-take albie </b></i>was in full effect.<br />
can't wait to eat sh!t tomorrow on a day of bambams.<br />
that's what happens, kids.<br />
it all costs something, and for every hot fireball,<br />
there's a cold doo-doo butterball waiting to replace it.<br />
that's the tattoo world,<br />
and that's what's coming my way for sure.<br />
meanwhile,<br />
it's a <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">snow day</span></b>, even if i don't see any yet.<br />
that's cool.<br />
that means more time with special people,<br />
and more is always what i'm all about.<br />
and when it's all unfolding in front of me,<br />
i'm grateful for the time i have been given;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-48902513271291674912019-12-16T07:15:00.001-05:002019-12-16T07:15:17.261-05:00animal tattoosyup.<br />
nature-ish tattoos.<br />
that's what we do the most at <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">AMPERSAND TATTOO</span></b>.<br />
for real.<br />
and that's fine with me.<br />
yesterday, i took some scratchy scribbled ideas<br />
and made them into a whole different picture.<br />
of course, it's the same, but also it's not.<br />
a raven and a wolf and a little extra style for good measure-<br />
with NO background, because why would we do that?<br />
i dunno.<br />
anyway, i did it:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv5VHR3KrPYdYyEXMoyNFN5tAz7eFFaZ8L3R_Cc4VN0Coco7YrP3dm_PidUaKZzqDvwmrRK5pPeZjKA2iP3sMUhyphenhyphenrHNcTkhNwithi0rxWXrSquYtni3cnDVEzkqSdrRut4V4GUrM5Sf3Hk/s1600/wolf_raven_tattz.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv5VHR3KrPYdYyEXMoyNFN5tAz7eFFaZ8L3R_Cc4VN0Coco7YrP3dm_PidUaKZzqDvwmrRK5pPeZjKA2iP3sMUhyphenhyphenrHNcTkhNwithi0rxWXrSquYtni3cnDVEzkqSdrRut4V4GUrM5Sf3Hk/s640/wolf_raven_tattz.jpg" width="480" /></a><br />
shoutouts and thanks to the tattoo spirits for keeping the decent tattoos rolling in.<br />
literally.<br />
because without 'em i'm just a loud old guy<br />
in a baby-doo-doo-diarrhea colored green room-<br />
...and that's not a good look.<br />
but when we add in those electric art zaps the whole image improves a ton.<br />
and that's better news for all of us.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
in other news,<br />
i'm lookin' at all the <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">XI</span></i>-mas</span></b> present heaps over here, and i gotta say:<br />
my big stress is forever gonna be shystie piles.<br />
uh-huh.<br />
it's never enough.<br />
and what's worse is that time is very nearly up.<br />
on saturday, i'm done whether i like it or not, so if i'm not ready,<br />
i'm properly effed up my chimney with some humbuggery.<br />
at least i'm getting over my rigidly ordered perfectly creased metallic foil paper penchant.<br />
i think that's a good thing.<br />
in fact, i got this one NON-METALLIC paper for the small kiddos,<br />
and it has PICTURES on it.<br />
yup.<br />
i dunno if they're elves, dwarves, santas, or just winter-clothed old bearded weirdies,<br />
but it's cute, and with the labels on 'em,<br />
i think it'll be fun to see who gets what in the big haphazard jumble under the tree.<br />
it doesn't always have to be how it was.<br />
that's the best part about last time.<br />
y'feel me?<br />
it's not THIS time.<br />
and this time is the one that matters.<br />
i'm doing different things and so far i'm surviving the experience.<br />
i think that's probably something i should be proud of,<br />
even if i feel forever like the mountain of presents should be taller;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-18604769376528714612019-12-15T07:24:00.004-05:002019-12-15T07:24:54.665-05:00again and againmaybe i'm just supposed to get a dad belly?<br />
is that a thing?<br />
i mean,<br />
it's been a good many years since i blarped all the way out<br />
and while i enjoy the effects of a positive self-image<br />
it turns out i may enjoy the effects of a megadope pizza pie even more.<br />
yeah.<br />
another 'nother late night pizza showed up last night.<br />
uh-huh.<br />
i was eating salad again, like always,<br />
when a little voice that sounded just like me started whispering suggestions<br />
about how good a little caramelized onion and kale pizza could be.<br />
and when i agreed?<br />
that same voice hinted that i could pretty easily batter up and bake some<br />
super savory seitan shreds for the top, too.<br />
and i'm gonna be honest with you guys:<br />
that sounded like exactly what i should do.<br />
so i did.<br />
check the teleport:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzSzFusdHce-GzzQXOvnJjXcySg3GcDAV0ztBf1_qVMnK0ZnqePsxbETRA4eQx7A3Z7f_6ujPvAjkUwourFWfsnN6s4gh0iXrhNraEVRuD_8oWWFYmIDabqzHE4rGsMQ66R51vVykLOtJA/s1600/pizza_party_12_14_19_chickpea_herb_seitan_carmies_daiya.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzSzFusdHce-GzzQXOvnJjXcySg3GcDAV0ztBf1_qVMnK0ZnqePsxbETRA4eQx7A3Z7f_6ujPvAjkUwourFWfsnN6s4gh0iXrhNraEVRuD_8oWWFYmIDabqzHE4rGsMQ66R51vVykLOtJA/s400/pizza_party_12_14_19_chickpea_herb_seitan_carmies_daiya.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
kaBOOOOOOOM.<br />
that's the fuego all day, bro.<br />
baby kale on the bottom,<br />
crushed tomatoes,<br />
minced <i><b>daiya</b></i> mozzarella and cashew chee',<br />
fried garlic <b><span style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<i><span style="font-size: large;">a</span></i>nkles</span></b>,<br />
caramelized onions.....<br />
that's all pretty delicious.<br />
but then the seitan comes through and turns it up to <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">eleven</span></i></b>.<br />
yeah.<br />
that's 1/4 cup chick pea flour,<br />
<b>GPOP</b>, a lotta smoked paprika, thyme, sage, salt, pepper,<br />
and enough non-dairy s'milk to make a thiccc batter.<br />
i just tossed a cup of shredded homemade seitan in there,<br />
rolled it around,<br />
and baked it on parchment on a baking sheet while the oven was heating up.<br />
i'm just sayin'-<br />
pizza is usually awesome.<br />
but this bad boi was was UNusually extra awesome.<br />
it worked out for my mouth,<br />
and it did yet another quarter inch of add-on to my waist.<br />
ugh.<br />
cold, wet, dark, and dirty....that was the day-<br />
and then hot, crisp, saucy and tight....that was the pizza.<br />
-<br />
i made another 'nother fast-action crust,<br />
with absolutely all the flavor you could ask for.<br />
so much so i might eff around and make another one of these before too long.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">***********</span></b><br />
wait, is it windy?<br />
yup.<br />
neighbors,<br />
i really dunno what this day is gonna bring,<br />
but so far this air movement is NOT encouraging.<br />
if (and these days that's the key word) my appointment shows up,<br />
then the first half of today is gonna be a lotta scratchy lined animals.<br />
that's pretty cool.<br />
and afterwards, i gotta get into the <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">XI</span></i>-mas</span></b> spirit.<br />
i mean it.<br />
i'm the least prepared i've ever been for this year's presentation.<br />
ha.<br />
y'know?<br />
i'm digging deep and i'm putting the pressure on myself to fire it up.<br />
i'm running out of time, so the fire needs to really get hot, and quick.<br />
all these people are important to me, and i wanna do something nice;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft...</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-71134103896143802892019-12-14T07:24:00.002-05:002019-12-14T07:24:25.532-05:00CRȆPES reduxholy crȇpe.<br />
i did it again.<br />
only this time i thought using gluten would be good.<br />
and i have to say- that was not the case.<br />
my intention to make wheatless goodies as an inclusive gesture<br />
has put me on the path to wheatless crȇpes from now on.<br />
for real.<br />
these got the job done,<br />
but they were very simply NOT as <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b> as the chick pea ones.<br />
the insides were fantastic, don't get me wrong-<br />
but those flaps were more crap than crȇpe.<br />
awwwwwwwwww.<br />
anyway, check it out:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP12xMn4pcZYqG5I4K8XEntbUC1sWA9Vsm4kKwhQR_xkkn3us1K8IagGY95abBspFbyuicGALsmqcrdljzd27ooYSlnscUPw9O4FUgvAmcMXEQnEz0P-FPID_06vp0RIrb1ShYy2vgyrol/s1600/crepes_tofu_potatoes_tomatoes_avocado_pea_shoots_onion_cilantro.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP12xMn4pcZYqG5I4K8XEntbUC1sWA9Vsm4kKwhQR_xkkn3us1K8IagGY95abBspFbyuicGALsmqcrdljzd27ooYSlnscUPw9O4FUgvAmcMXEQnEz0P-FPID_06vp0RIrb1ShYy2vgyrol/s400/crepes_tofu_potatoes_tomatoes_avocado_pea_shoots_onion_cilantro.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
curried exxxtra-crispy skin-on homeboy fries.<br />
and well-seasoned exxxtra-firm tofu cubes.<br />
and avo-F*ing-cado.<br />
that's a good breakfast.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAA2SfsO8PkjgS1SxAuIdqIMH6nptAelxc3_cCOzq7vVlkgaesqF6vZciBEHoRgLty_VqyfC7ixXw9e9Q4mY13Q7xNKM7akogORwoHogVQgGpHSYiqcFu79pPeLkbzRebWNPggQYGgaqxx/s1600/crepes_tofu_potato_avocado_sausage.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAA2SfsO8PkjgS1SxAuIdqIMH6nptAelxc3_cCOzq7vVlkgaesqF6vZciBEHoRgLty_VqyfC7ixXw9e9Q4mY13Q7xNKM7akogORwoHogVQgGpHSYiqcFu79pPeLkbzRebWNPggQYGgaqxx/s400/crepes_tofu_potato_avocado_sausage.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
WOW!<br />
when you add those fried tomatoes,<br />
and the new-new that is those maple glazed brekkie sausages??<br />
the whole shootin' match gets turned up to <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">eleven</span></i></b>.<br />
i mean... that's SO much flavor,<br />
it <i>almost</i> overshadowed the bland nature of those crȇpes.<br />
almost.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUU84CyQGMxQ0v67HSF4InSKqeAn5eJHx95zS40ttu8LRXz3iK_HjNn2aaUdKoObYWp6r3KoTGq2KwIbdUTgYhGe9_etRWss8KEucIobM9QvThISO7jv3QQYRkijEeNXx2WX6qIV7ZtTad/s1600/crepes_potatoes_sausage_tofu_avocado.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUU84CyQGMxQ0v67HSF4InSKqeAn5eJHx95zS40ttu8LRXz3iK_HjNn2aaUdKoObYWp6r3KoTGq2KwIbdUTgYhGe9_etRWss8KEucIobM9QvThISO7jv3QQYRkijEeNXx2WX6qIV7ZtTad/s400/crepes_potatoes_sausage_tofu_avocado.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
then there's cilantro and red onion <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #d9ead3;">spr</span><i><span style="color: #ead1dc; font-size: large;">a</span></i><span style="color: #d9ead3;">nkles</span></b></span>, too?<br />
and pea shoots to add extra power to each parcel?<br />
c'mon.<br />
if you need fancy breakfast,<br />
this is for sure how you doo-doo that freaky sh!t.<br />
-<br />
the tofu, gets fried in a drip of hot oil,<br />
and gets tossed with turmeric,<b> G</b>arlic <b>P</b>owder, <b>O</b>nion <b>P</b>owder,<br />
sea salt, black pepper, nutritional yeast,<br />
and when you shake a lil baby bit of smoked paprika on top,<br />
that all does all the things to make this sh!t taste great.<br />
you need that.<br />
-<br />
there's a splash or three of veggie broth to steam the sausages<br />
so that they stay juicy while they brown in the pan;<br />
and that's before the caramel magic of real maple syrup and high heat seals them shut.<br />
-<br />
the potatoes were tossed with curry powder, cayenne, olive oil, salt, pepper, <b>GPOP</b>,<br />
and coriander, then roasted at 400℉ on parchment over steel on a stone in my oven<br />
until they were visibly crisp.<br />
and the rest was as-is raw.<br />
and that's all you need.<br />
i won't even bother with the crȇpes.<br />
just use the <u><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://albierock.blogspot.com/2018/07/crepes-creeps.html">gluten-free one</a></span></u>.<br />
it's way better.<br />
for real.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
the weather outside?<br />
it's frightful.<br />
but inside?<br />
also frightful.<br />
i'm sayin'-<br />
i got low on the floor with <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">crabtree</span></i></b>, looked at my cabinets,<br />
and my whole stress level shot through the roof.<br />
i need a professional cleaning team to come through and give this place a<br />
major thrice-over deep cleanse.<br />
or, a flamethrower purification.<br />
or maybe i could just get burned at the stake at this point.<br />
that seems warmer and less overwhelming.<br />
and while i was using stainless steel wipes on the fridge<br />
in a really pathetic attempt to band-aid this blood-eagle evisceration,<br />
i started to think even more about how much more money<br />
i'll need to make'to fix all these F*ing problems in the dilapidated tomb<br />
i'm slowly dying inside of.<br />
is that bleak?<br />
blame it on the rain.<br />
you know i'm like <b><i>missy elliot</i></b> and <b><i>ann peebles</i></b> when it comes to that sh!t.<br />
like, yes i'm supa-dupa fly,<br />
but also,<br />
i can't stand the rain at my window.<br />
especially since it turned my driveway into a solid sheet of exxxtra-slippery shine ice.<br />
can't wait to get out there and slide into the slush with my dog,<br />
and then again with my car.<br />
shoutouts to rain making it all a little worse;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-48374115179786517412019-12-14T06:58:00.004-05:002019-12-14T06:58:48.469-05:00molto molto stilli decided on a late night circle.<br />
yeah.<br />
<b><i>friday the 13th </i></b>isn't gonna jinx MY dinnertime reality.<br />
i had a salad,<br />
but that sh!t just doesn't do it for me.<br />
i crave that crust.<br />
i want that bread.<br />
i need that dough.<br />
so i fired up my slooooooow-heatin' oven,<br />
and while it got up to 485℉,<br />
i had my pizza base risin' up.<br />
uh-huh.<br />
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY.<br />
<i>that's </i>what i gotta have.<br />
and that's what i made.<br />
a late night circle, like i said.<br />
with red onion;<br />
fried garlic <b><span style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<span style="font-size: large;"><i>a</i></span>nkles</span></b>;<br />
homemade cashew chee';<br />
shredded cashew mozz';<br />
<i><b>daiya</b></i> mozz'... minced, of course;<br />
splintered sweet baby tomatoes;<br />
crushed tomatoes;<br />
and those gluten-free meatless balls, y'all.<br />
uh-huh.<br />
y'know i made more than i needed for <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">sandwich week</span></b>,<br />
and that made the magic happen for THIS week.<br />
look:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_WA4WqzkneQUkFQN9WXfl_3c_m3zMlWEWKs1Ul5_uJxpZY1LiSLX5543-I7C0BAshlvGHSntcuBEnZosu2E_2aE15GahdUpvvt5Dw1RNzBZdaXgFng1HJb4-hcanVazwiMhrwDwRlVbcZ/s1600/pizza_party_12_13_19_meatball_onion_tomato_cashew_chee_daiya.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_WA4WqzkneQUkFQN9WXfl_3c_m3zMlWEWKs1Ul5_uJxpZY1LiSLX5543-I7C0BAshlvGHSntcuBEnZosu2E_2aE15GahdUpvvt5Dw1RNzBZdaXgFng1HJb4-hcanVazwiMhrwDwRlVbcZ/s400/pizza_party_12_13_19_meatball_onion_tomato_cashew_chee_daiya.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
GIMME PIZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAA!!!<br />
the basil is what kicks it into overdrive.<br />
freshie-fresh leaves on top is how the hottness drops<br />
up here at the <b><i><span style="color: yellow;">Folk Life & Liberty Fortess</span></i></b>.<br />
-<br />
and i know you probably already know this,<br />
but that fast-action crust was <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert</span></b>.<br />
yep.<br />
a pinch of diastatic malt,<br />
a scoop of white whole wheat flour,<br />
a touch of high-intensity pure gluten,<br />
and you've got the TRUTH staring at you from bottom of a mixing bowl.<br />
-<br />
i always oil my steel prior to baking.<br />
i always bake on stones.<br />
i always use <b><i>king arthur</i></b> flour.<br />
i always let my upright stand mixer do its thing,<br />
and i love the results.<br />
-<br />
i have to say, though, in the interest of true storytelling-<br />
i didn't measure anything.<br />
i just got lucky.<br />
....on <i><b>friday the 13th</b></i> of all days, even.<br />
imagine that.<br />
<b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">*</span></b><br />
i'm talking about food.<br />
that's a simple subject, sorta-<br />
and one that i'm proud to expound upon.<br />
we all eat food.<br />
i eat better food, for sure, and i wanna share my excitement about it.<br />
but even then, i'm not <i>really</i> detailing the process, am i?<br />
it's sort of an evangelical vagueness<br />
where i've made something by doing a little of this and a little of that,<br />
and i sorta show you the end results.<br />
there's no vagary in it-<br />
it's very predictable.<br />
i make and eat radical vegan treats for my face.'<br />
mostly, because i need to be more creative,<br />
and the rigors of wintertime in the woodsly goodness,<br />
combined with the deepest darkest nights,<br />
and the pressure i've put upon myself to create <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><i>XI</i></span>-mas</span></b> feelings,<br />
and the lack of initiative in my heart and hands about after-work art,<br />
and the absences that feed the feelings i'm burying under all this food...<br />
well,<br />
you can see that it all circles back around,<br />
and late night circles follow form and function.<br />
like pizza.<br />
...you get it;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-47095286719872268612019-12-14T06:38:00.003-05:002019-12-14T06:38:53.621-05:00tattoosi actually sometimes still do tattoos.<br />
mostly leaves and trees and nature stuff,<br />
with a lot of words mixed in to make sure i remember<br />
that i'm still just a tat guy.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtzaYg318sqGig5reyEpDyGauw11jROZs3gFHzDlJRAo62r-bgZ1XJnlq6LjCQfgYLFFuFWpe5iUbXq1mxaIF87a-p9xNUuJ0rg8auJXszsDL74oVFD62SWOju-gEKJZLSj2tbWif6JYK-/s1600/Im_fired.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtzaYg318sqGig5reyEpDyGauw11jROZs3gFHzDlJRAo62r-bgZ1XJnlq6LjCQfgYLFFuFWpe5iUbXq1mxaIF87a-p9xNUuJ0rg8auJXszsDL74oVFD62SWOju-gEKJZLSj2tbWif6JYK-/s320/Im_fired.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
flowers.<br />
and a snake.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jkQ1vWucgVN7fwBAovBgv77W_jC8vCUCoWjxwNFPX_JBL39O49KyOksrh952H-GWtq9K-SirZOUimuoqDwkDf5qnkPyy-hsmsNIUirFEaWAwUttgeMryCp6G5zqkVymLVHzheifoBJle/s1600/for_real.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jkQ1vWucgVN7fwBAovBgv77W_jC8vCUCoWjxwNFPX_JBL39O49KyOksrh952H-GWtq9K-SirZOUimuoqDwkDf5qnkPyy-hsmsNIUirFEaWAwUttgeMryCp6G5zqkVymLVHzheifoBJle/s320/for_real.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
and a tree with a topper.<br />
y'know something?<br />
i really do enjoy tattooing.<br />
that's a fact.<br />
but it isn't all fun ideas and cool clients.<br />
maybe that's the best part?<br />
no.<br />
for real.<br />
<b>without the bitter, the sweet's just not as sweet</b>.<br />
that's the up-north mountain-style tattoo truth, kids.<br />
i just wanna draw all the tattoos,<br />
and have decent conversation,<br />
and get paid,<br />
and use those movie checks to build a better tomorrow.<br />
....for me and mine.<br />
i'm not at the point where i'm changing the world,<br />
but i'd really like to change my circumstance.<br />
we'll worry about the bigger picture once i get those<br />
stacks on stacks on stacks piled up from tattooing little pictures.<br />
real talk,<br />
i'm motivated to do more and better work every day<br />
because i know all too well that a grand don't come for free;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1163388539967966558.post-56246136710451752272019-12-11T08:39:00.000-05:002019-12-11T08:39:04.285-05:00LONG OVERDUEpizza party time at the <b><i><span style="color: yellow;">Folk Life & Liberty Fortress</span></i></b>?<br />
it's been a while,<br />
but now that <b><span style="color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">sandwich week</span></b> is over and out,<br />
we can get back to what's really fresh in the woodsly goodness.<br />
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvmJ5gueFqj6Ge64Xjpm8XssWc679SPXRSO_YvOqEXskY47HrtQWPrirJDni_TWd906LK94bgFY5vWHfnEP5yt9SM-s4BWVZBq0-zTwzcSA1vOzCD9Ul-HTZ0Dk5fTv8f2AgL4PIiFiec/s1600/pizza_party_12_10_19_eggplant_basil_tomato.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvmJ5gueFqj6Ge64Xjpm8XssWc679SPXRSO_YvOqEXskY47HrtQWPrirJDni_TWd906LK94bgFY5vWHfnEP5yt9SM-s4BWVZBq0-zTwzcSA1vOzCD9Ul-HTZ0Dk5fTv8f2AgL4PIiFiec/s400/pizza_party_12_10_19_eggplant_basil_tomato.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
melanzane!!!<br />
that's eggplant, bro.<br />
yeah, that's right- it's an epic supercircle of stacked ingredients!!<br />
f'real.<br />
there's spinach on the bottom,<br />
followed by a blended cooked sauce/crushed tomato hybrid.<br />
that's <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">expert </span></b>af.<br />
then there's fried garlic <b><span style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spr<i><span style="font-size: large;">a</span></i>nkles</span></b>....<br />
you know the rules.<br />
and that's all covered in a mixture of cashew chee' shreds<br />
AND minced <b><i>daiya </i></b>mozzarella, too.<br />
that's the correct prep method for vegan chee'.<br />
and that's a FACT.<br />
next up, there's tomatoes,<br />
and then some blops of homemade cashew mozz'.<br />
yup.<br />
that's a lot, but that's the only way to doo-doo that freaky sh!t, son.<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">too much is the right amount</span></b>.<br />
and i mean that from the bottom of my heart.<br />
look:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0G_fWcJhfTN_XWmeeOaCBL_Z6BBXGgNZ0rWUMqxOzq2YN6Tu7P5RipIG4F4ei_P12jcyv62UQW2dVpYnM_AKdvJSWl8KIjQLLNmQbf9QAbq6sD7Sfkc9ZMk7VUk5rkRLvJrFhkEgxilKK/s1600/pizza_party_12_10_eggplant_cashew_chee_daiya_basil.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0G_fWcJhfTN_XWmeeOaCBL_Z6BBXGgNZ0rWUMqxOzq2YN6Tu7P5RipIG4F4ei_P12jcyv62UQW2dVpYnM_AKdvJSWl8KIjQLLNmQbf9QAbq6sD7Sfkc9ZMk7VUk5rkRLvJrFhkEgxilKK/s400/pizza_party_12_10_eggplant_cashew_chee_daiya_basil.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
SO CRISP AND SO SOFT AND SO GOOD.<br />
breaded up eggplant, tho.<br />
that's where it's AT.<br />
a crust of my proprietary blend of flour, cornflakes, and rice crispies,<br />
pulverized, with parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, and basil,<br />
as well as <b>GPOP</b> and black pepper and pink salt....<br />
you need some of that in your life.<br />
exxxtra flavor is essential.<br />
thin slices of eggplant,<br />
dunked in a blend of non-dairy s'milk and chia/flaxmeal and egg replacer,.<br />
as always the same-same...<br />
then the breading,<br />
the a little hard time in the hot oil-<br />
blended veg and olive do what they do, with a flip and a drain and all the same sh!t .<br />
i mean,<br />
i apologize that i can't bear to detail all the process this morning,<br />
but you get the idea, don'tcha?<br />
i know you do.<br />
but do not forget to add the final touch.<br />
i'm serious.<br />
without fresh basil, you have something excellent,<br />
but it just ain't the same, son.<br />
if you're lookin' to take pizza pie to <b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">eleven</span></i></b>,<br />
you better uprgade those jauns with the freshness for your face.<br />
do it, and be thrilled at your intelligent designs.<br />
-<br />
the dough was some new-new, too-<br />
-<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">* </span></b><br />
<b>NEW DOUGH!</b><br />
-<br />
2 cups of <i><b>king arthur</b></i> flour;<br />
2 tsp sea salt;<br />
1 T olive oil;<br />
1 1/2 tsp barley malt;<br />
1 tsp sugar;<br />
1/2 cup <b><i>king arthur</i></b> white whole wheat;<br />
1/2 cup semolina;<br />
1 1/4 cups warm water;<br />
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;<br />
1 tsp bread machine yeast.....<br />
you need to knead it until it's a firm shiny ball,<br />
and let it rise for a while.<br />
i had mine in the fridge from six a.m until 5 p.m.,<br />
and that was just right to stretch it<br />
and let it do a little something while i made the eggplant.<br />
i'll tel you what, neighbors-<br />
eggplant is a process, but it pays off i the end.<br />
and my pizza scene was vastly improved by the short absence of it in my life.<br />
that's no joke.<br />
-<br />
my friend <i><b><span style="font-size: large;">dylan</span></b></i> shared the experience,<br />
and that helped me eat more responsibly.<br />
half a giant pizza is smarter, even if it IS less.<br />
that's okay.<br />
friendship is important, too;<br />
<b><i><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">never quiet, never soft.....</span></i></b>Albie Rockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650307058671242514noreply@blogger.com0