double-fisting.

two huge meat-paddle spider-monsters.
y'know?
simian mitts with crustacean-jointed knob-knuckles.
pink prehensile spatulas with gnarled alpine root splays.
y'feel me?
my hands, neighbors.
that's what i'm talking about.
they're those toothy-grinning getters at the end of my spaghetti-noodle arms.
and that's not all, y'all...
they're constantly wishing for activities to preoccupy their idleness,
and combat the devil's plaything-type scenario that usually takes precedence
for their exercises in manual dexterity and prestidigitation.
ummmmmmm, yeah.
sometimes,
i've got to get expert just to keep my paws and claws in shape.
practicing being dope, means getting better at being dope,
or somethin' like that, if you catch my meaning.
anyway,
i kept 'em busy slicing and dicing fruit, and getting rad on the mixology.
real talk,
i had a semi-subtropical moment to myself,
smack in the midst of the brutal cold front that's been flash-freezing
the young, delicate new shoots and buds of the woodsly goodness.
what's that mean?
it means i activated the hottness in the form of frosty beverages.
smart?
maybe...
check the teleport:

COME ON!
virgin pina coladas, for your F*ing face!
(i totally lounged in my hammock with 'em!!)
i'll brighten the darkest doorstep with sunny-side sips, son.
two magic boku big drinkies??
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
one for each of my big, dumb, lonely strangler's hands, obviously.
awwwwwwwwwwwww, man.
and i skipped the rum, obviously, because it's so okay NOT to drink.
...but someone should tell every other person in the world about that.
jeez.
so,
what's IN those lovely yellowy cups of golden juiciness?
oh, don't worry, i'm gonna tell you:
two fingers of club soda in a sexy glass-tic cup,
and a frappe of crushed ice, coco-real genuine coconut syrup,
mashed whole fresh pineapple,
the juicy squeezed guts of a whole bunch of key limes,
a dash of sugar,
and a garnish of squirted-out mandarine orange on top for the first sip?
uh-huh.
amazing?
of course.
what am i?
an A*-hole?
i duuno, duders,
would an A*-hole add a mint sprig to fancify two drinks
that were both for just himself?
no way.
ultimate sexy time, as usual, is also super fancy unnecessary time,
reserved solely for doing everything more beautifully than everyone else.
that's sort of my thing, guys.
c'mon.
unfortunately,
thirty-something ounces of arctic wetness sent my body temperature plummeting,
and the remainder of the evening was spanned under ALL the blankets.
fuh-fuh-fuh-reeeeeeeezing, kids.
for serious,
who invited this tundra wind to the party?
you?
wow,
way to be a jerk, bro.
lame.
***********
wednesday!
again.
it seems to show up sooner every week.
making the most of all of it is all i can do.
and if that's the freaky sh!t i've gotta doo-doo,
well,
so be it;
never quiet, never soft.....