shovelfuls.

getting up first thing and shoveling?
lame.
having a stoooopid metal roof that dumps warmed-up heavy snow
all over the walkway every other hour?
even lamer.
having heavy snow blow out the power,
and spanning the night in the dark?
actually,
that was expert.
haha.
reading by candlelight felt pretty relaxing,
for all the flickers of the orangey glow.
yeah.
oh,
and it got crazy cold again,
of course,
so the snow that accumulated yesterday,
all slushy and soggy and sticky?
uh-huh.
it's frozen.
great.
snow day 'anythings' are more like 'nothing-goods'.
y'know?
sure, anything can happen.....just as long as it sucks.
awwwwwwwwwwwww, man.
...and it just keeps snowing.
like,
we're still getting pounded by snow day magic.
and it kinda eats balls.
i mean,
yes,
it's beautiful:

c'mon.
but it's also a gigantic real-time real life reminder
that the natural world is here to kill us all.
we'd be buried alive and frozen to death if this winter had it's druthers.
on the realsies.
***********
and it's not like this is making anything any better:

tattoos are, no foolin', wrecking my days.
now,
i am totally not saying i hate tattooing,
i'm just saying that what i'm looking for i haven't found yet.
it's out there,
waiting,
hiding,
evading...
i'll catch it, or i won't;
but i still get discouraged in the in-between times when i'm
just grinding away and spanning time and not moving forward.
quitting isn't an option,
but enjoying the journey isn't either.
i've got destinations and deadlines that simply don't allow
for any of that bullsh!t hippie malarky, y'heard?
i may be losing the good fight, neighbors,
but i'm still swinging and slinging and singing,
until the inevitable bitter bitter ending;
never quiet, never soft.....