mexican monday.

mexican monday AND cinco de mayo?!
at the same time and sh!t??
si, amigos.
we had to get fresh with it.
we just had to.
i was up early proofing mixed-flour dough for soft supertacos,
and pickling jalapenos and onions,
and chopping salsa fresca,
and guac'ing all the holy mole,
and doing all of that sort of expert kitchen business.
that's a thing.
i seem to have a system for overdoing it,
and it's working out perfectly, too, kids.
check the fiesta-de-gordos-type teleport:

that's right, neighbors.
beans on beans on beans on beans.
we weren't kidding around.
at all.
four kinds of treats, on one plate, at the same time?
yes, indeed, duders,
because too much is forever and ever the right amount.
clockwise,
from the yellowish squares-
-baked tofu, shaken in a big ol' bagful of seasonings,
and then seared to perfection before serving.
it's simple, but it's flippin' delicious.
the obligatory refried beans, doctored up with secret spices,
diced onions, cilantro, black pepper, and ho' sauce.
y'gotta make the refrieds expert,
lest you find yourself just chugging down bland brown blops.
and those aren't ever invited to our mexican makeout party.
real talk.
-baked wheat tortilla chips.
c'mon.
what else would we be dippin' into our sauces with?
store-boughts?
no!!.....that's what poor people do.
no lazy shortcuts for us.
we even get custom on our crunchy triangles
over here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
i mean,
it's a F*ing fiesta after all, for cryin' out loud.
black beans and rice...
...and quinoa and millet and red lentils and amaranth and kaniwa.
whoa.
heirloom grains an' that, to take the standard b'n'r to eleven.
yep.
green peppers and white onions and gold grape tomatoes,
and garlic and garlic and garlic,
and black beans and ALL the spices you'd expect,
plus those turmeric and paprika'd ancient magic grains-
all stirred together and married in a secret ceremony
in the center of a non-stick circle.
so dope.
-super-mutha-'ucking-soft tacos.
that's what's up.
a fat foldable flatbread,
with both semolina and white wheat flours,
cornmeal, salt, wheat gluten for firmness, black pepper,
raw sugar, corn oil, nootch,
and equal portions of fast and slow yeast,
for the fullest flavor with each and every bite,
butter-fried on a red hot skillet .
that's the way we get it poppin' up in my kitchen, kids.
and homemade guacamole, spread thick;
and baby salad greens, because baby-sized stuff is just s'cute;
and those hot pickled jalapenos and onions;
and scallions;
and cilantro;
and fresh extra spicy pico-de-gallo salsa.
that's all the stuffs you need to dress up a whole bunch of new hottness.
new new hottness, even.
that's right, hermanos y hermanas-
there are tiny baby-sized roman-bean burgers in there, too.
so many ingredients, but so simple to pat-a-cake up.
beans and beans and beans and beans,
and maybe even a few more beans.
that's the stuff.
checkin' those supercharged protein gains, b!tches.
mmmhmmm.
***********
me and my peoples take time.
well,
we span it anyway.
at least,
while all the elite edibles are getting all cooked up.
but,
once we have plated up our portions,
and served it all to ourselves,
and then documented it so you can see how we're livin'...
...umm, yeah.
we wild animal attack those jauns with reckless abandon
and ruinous self-indulgence,
and an unhealthy helping of savage stormswept shark-gluttony.
that's no joke.
all that carefully cultivated food-making gets 'sploded into our faces
in the short stretch of just a few seconds.
the only way i feel better is by feeling worse.
is that wrong?
maybe.
is that the way it is?
definitely.
these days are made for overindulging in all the things that are good for you.
too much.....
well, you know the rest;
never quiet, never soft.....