way to be a bummer most of the time.
ugh.
so,
in like a liar,
out like a lame?
is that how that goes?
i think it might be,
or at least, it should be amended allow for the present state of affairs.
neighbors,
guess who is getting an april foolish joke,
with the punchline being a baby blizzard?
give up?
ok.
it's me, and you, and everybody in this vicinity.
awesome, right?
nature wins.
and that comes at the expense of spring, it seems.
that's cool.
i'd hate to brighten my horizons too much, too soon.
a bleaker, blacker, blighted and benighted beginning to another 'nother month
sounds like exxxactly what we all need,
to really remember who's the boss.
way to go nature.
i mean, we wouldn't want to start out with rain showers.
that might help melt the mountains of snow still outside,
and possibly pave the way for may flowers.
no thanks.
shoutouts to using reverse psychology
on anthropomorphic seasonal affect disorderly conduct.
i won't allow the weather to ruin my good times, though, bro.
no way.
and my good times revolve around food.
every time.
the whole time,
all the time.
so,
i'm over here eating all the good cake,
and letting the sky fall where it may...
uh-huh.
no matter what,
i want to enjoy what i can control, indoors, in my kitchen,
in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
at the table, with a fork, and big ol' slice of pure expert amazingness.
yuuuuuuuuup.
and i dare you to try to stop me.
neighbors,
check the teleport:
CRUMBLES ON CRUMBLES WITH SCOOPLES AND STRAWB'Z!!
yeah!
crumbly buttery coffeetable cake.
oaty, sweet, lightly spiced streusel crumbled on top.
a scoople of coconut vanilla s'cream,
giant slices of giant fresh sweet strawberries.
and powdered dried strawberry sprankles!
that's what the eff is UP.
you want this.
if you love snow?
you want this.
if you hate snow?
you need this.
if you like snow ok, but you've had enough for a season?
turn on your oven and make this.
dudes,
it's pretty flippin' buttery and magical.
that's for real.
you gonna make some?
alright
here's how:
-
*
CRUMBLECAKE!!
-
1 cup sugar;
1 stick + 2 T (10T) vegan butts;
1/2 tsp salt.
2 tsp vanilla;
^creamed together, just like always,
plus:
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt;
2 1/3 cups flour;
3 T tapioca;
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
whisked with a spatula so that it's all blended, but not too fluffy.
-simple-
and on top,
there's:
3 T butts;
2 big handfuls of oats'
3 T flour;
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 T agave;
crumbled up and mixed thoroughly into a nubbly streuesel,
evenly spread, and diusted with cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger.
baked for 30 at 350F, in a greased and floured 9 x 12,
allow it to cool, because that's a good idea, unless you love ruined berries,
and lame s'cream.
also,
you may wanna do the molto a la mode, like i did.
you don't need to, it's plenty awesome on it's own,
but,
too much is the right amount,
and more goodness is better than an average level, am i right?
heck yes i am.
sliced strawberries, in sugar and vanilla syrup?
expert.
a scoople of that cold creaminess?
expert.
the sprankles?
super-elite turbo expertism is in effect.
that's no joke.
a good cake can improve upon bad weather exponentially.
if it's frightful outside, then the delights must be made within.
mmmm.
and there's something about a soft, buttery, crumb-style cake.
i love 'em.
and almost everything is better wth streusel anyway.
rules is rules.
and streusel is one of 'em.
ha.
***********
-
dear march,
you were a real *A-hole, the entire time.
like that boogery kid from elementary school
who was always in trouble and never very nice,
and smelled like cheese.
my point is:
nobody missed him when he moved away.
just like nobody is going to miss you when you're gone.
the height of good manners is knowing when to leave.
you've overstayed, overshared,
and overindulged in all the worst behaviors.
i guess what i'm trying to say is:
i don't love you, and i''m glad you're over
your pal,
albie.
*
that's quite enough of all of that, march.
april promises a rough start as well,
so that makes the first full 1/3 of 2017 badly begun.
gross.
that's the thing, man,.
it's all really happening,
even if it's crap;
never quiet, never soft.....
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