BARBECUE SAUCE!!!!!

guys,
i did it!
i successfully endured the week's tattoo schedule.
as a point of interest in my actual career:
i have been using fewer and fewer prepared images.
no, i'm not bragging. not at all.
i'm just letting you know that i feel like i do my best work in the clutch,
on the spot, thinking and moving on the go.
and making it all up in the moment.
sure,
it's mostly working for me because i've been tattooing flowers,
and dragons, and letters,
and other other stuff i've been drawing from memory for decades,
but,
i think there's still something to be said for the off-the-cuff, on-the-fly,
intensive inventiveness of creating permanence without premeditation.
like, something i should say, specifically is:
thank you, everybody...
...for trusting me enough,
or for being too nervous to speak up about the process,
or for being so indifferent that you weren't even impressed a little-
haha.
whatever the reason the time we spanned got to happen the way it did,
i'm grateful for it, and i appreciate it,
and i sure as heckfire hope you're happy now that you have
your portion of the program imbedded in perpetuity...
awwwww, shucks.
that almost sounds a little like i like what i do.
hey!
hold on, now.
let's not get head of ourselves.
i'm lucky to do what i do for work,
but it's still only half as rewarding as dinner.
hmmmmmm?
oh, i'm totally serious.
especially when my favorite sexy semolina circles are on the schedule.
yuuuuuuup.
last night was a pizza party,
and there ain't no other party out there i'm more likely to ever attend.
i LOVE pizza.
i say that a lot, because i feel it in my heart.
and the pizza scene over here was really loud, fresh, and hard,
despite a few situational setbacks leading up to the big moment.
uh-huh.
i hurt my back, badly.
like,
partially panicked at the pain level,
and coming up short of breath from forgetting to breathe
while gritting and grunting through the day.
shoutouts to old man body.
awwwwwwwww.
and,
i worked later than usual, so dinner was started at an hour
when i normally would have already eaten and cleaned up and settled in.
here's the thing, though-
PIZZA IS expert NO MATTER WHAT OR WHEN!
that's a fact.
so, i rolled up my sleeves and hobbled over to the stove,
and made myself a perfect pizza pie.
check the teleport:

BARBECUE TOFU!!!!
neighbors,
i had two  totally different, but completely complementary, sexxxy sauces!
yup.
double the dopeness, and twice the terrific.
you know the rules-
too much is the right amount.
so don't come up to the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress with a message of moderation.
now way, bro.
there's only two words with which to respond to that:
NOT INVITED.
the classic crushed tomatoes were upgraded with spices, and sweetness,
and ho'sauce, for a tangy, zippy, zimzalabim of hurricane hottness for everybody.
yeah-
that's 4 T of crushies,
plus cumin, coriander, basil, and smoked paprika.
plus a dash of smoked sea salt,
a few drops of liquid smoke,
a squeeze of molasses,
a splash of apple cider vinegar,
and a shot of GPOP.
mmmmmmmm.
it was smoky, surprisingly.
oh, c'mon- i'm playin'.
but, real talk?
as far as basic bases go, that's one for the diary.
-
daiya mozzarella, and daiya cheddar chee' make it all better.
so,
do that whenever you're going rogue on the savory 'za flavors.
-
caramelized onions are pretty much essential to my pizza process.
if they're not on it, you can bet there are some kind of onions taking up the slot.
they may not ever be able to take their place,
and while i don't normally order them when i'm eating pizza elsewhere,
whenever i'm here(which happens to be almost always)
i gotta brown up some thinly-sliced sexxxiness for my F*ing face.
rules is rules.
as is the rule about fried garlic sprankles.
if you don't got 'em, go get 'em, or prepare yourself for a B-.
y'cant go to eleven without the spranks, kid.
trust me.
*jalapenos? that's a win.
a blast of post-bake chopped cilantro leaf? another win.
*ho'sauce drizzles? you win again!
* tomatoes, just because? still a victory
*tiny crispy baconish bitsies? WINNER WINNER PIZZA DINNER!!!
all the aspects of expertism, on one semolina circle.
the dough was crisp, and i didn't apply it directly to the oven-stone.
nope.
i used a pan, grandma style.
there's no shame in that.
without the sourdough element,
the dough is a bit more fragile after a few days,
so a little help is appreciated,
and repaid with golden goodness in the hotbox.
that's synergy, son.
...
but, really,
it's that barbecued tofu that brings the heat.
yup.
half a block's worth of small cubes,
in hot oil, seared and sealed,
before getting activated with Garlic Powder and Onion Powder,
and cumin,
and coriander seed,
and smoked paprika,
all swirled around in a heavy squeeze of organic ketchup
and a shot of agave to caramelize it all while it spat and sputtered
in that spicy and ferocious oil...
huh?
oh, i know, dudes.
ketchup.
damn.
i apologize on behalf of most of me.
...but my tongue is unrepentant.
that stuff tasted absolutely awesome.
***********
pizza is the best medicine.
well, that, and ibuprofen.
holy crap, friends-
my leg is numb from this lower back attack.
yuck.
getting old, falling apart, having a tough time,
and STILL bringing the noise at work and at home?
that's what you do.
at least, if you're doing it right.
hard feelings, hurt feelings, heart failings, and health frailing
isn't going to stop you,. if you don't want to be stopped.
will anything get better?
mayyyyyyybe.
will everything else get worse?
if experience has taught me anything? yeah. it all always does.
it's all really happening, anyway.
limping through the hills with crabtree,
half-falling every other step,
wincing while standing still...
that's just what happens now i guess.
he doesn't need less exercise because i'm hurt.
i won't make fewer treats because it's painful to stand up.
the objective is MORE.
excuses don't actually excuse you.
they're just reasons why you quit.
don't do that;
never quiet, never soft.....