CRUMBCAKES!!!

so, here's a cool little something that happens every so often around here-
when it gets very rainy around the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
the internet doesn't work reliably.
nope.
huh?
oh, i know, right?
that seems like it shouldn't be a thing.
...but it is.
that's just one more quaint rustic quirk of the woodsly goodness.
modern conveniences are intermittent on the best of days,
and on the worst ones they're just absent altogether.
ugh.
i lived a good number of years without the internet,
even if only because it was relatively new, i was just a kid,
and my family didn't give a sh!t about having it.
still,
i survived then, and i survive now....
although the amount of wifi data streaming i utilize is both gargantuan and perpetual.
that's no joke.
anyway,
this in-and-out connectivity is becoming a nuisance,
and my morning has been upended and derailed as a result.
time's tickin' away, and i'm over here trying to write about yesterday's news.
damn.
*
guys,
i made three coffeecakes.
uh-huh.
three is a magical number,
and coffeecake is a magical food.
as a matter of fact,
it's so magical, i made it to celebrate, in absentia, my homeboy's berfy day,
and i even lit a candle an' that.
awwwww.
i'm a fan of birthday times, as you may already be aware.
which is why i was celebrating,
by myself,
even though my broski is far away in dumb wyoming.
yup!
check it out:

CRUMBLES!
CROMBLES!
CRAWWWMBLEZ!!
streusel crumbles are essential.
real talk.
without those sugary crankle sprankles, you ain't really gettin' it AT ALL.
i told you about the candle, and that was no joke either:

c'mon!
s'kyoooot!!!
here's the thing-
i had one big bowlful of batter,
and three smaller springform jauns ready and willing to receive a good filling.
that's great news, really,
since too much is the right amount, y'feel me?
and three cakes means three streusels.
and that's a great idea, isn't it?
you be it is!
so,
let's get into the details,
and get you on your way to getting a good ol' megadose of dopeness for your A*!
word.
-
*
COFFEECAKE!!
-
preheat your oven to 375℉
-
in medium bowl, combine:
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt'
2 tsp vanilla;
3/4 cup sugar;
1/4 cup light brown sugar;
-
whisk in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;
1 cup vegan sourcream (i repped the tofutti brand, and it was awesome);
2 cups + 3 T flour;
3 T tapioca starch;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda...
^ stir it all together to make a thick-as-they-get batter,
and spread it halfway up all the greased and floured pans, man.
now,
in that same bowl,
combine:
1/2 stick butts;
1 cup flour;
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
2 tsp cinnamon;
^grind on that with a fork or pastry cutter until it's all one cohesive clumpy crumble.
....and spread that on top, buddy.
obvi.
i had some chocolate chunk granola, which i basically pre-baked streusel,
and i dropped that down on one too.
AND,
just to keep it real, i used oats, and brown sugar in a whole other 'nother other one.
MORE is better, but MORE isn't just quantity, it's also variety.
i like a little freaky freak-it-off freshie-freshness and flair in my cake game.
there's nothing wrong with that.
i baked them for 30 minutes, and the small (5") guys were great
the bigger one needed a bit longer, though.
(y'know how i knew? yea. i tested the center, kiddo. smart)
...
when i got back from my very wet, wholly unrewarding walk with crabtree,
who was as irritated and harried as we hurried by the sucking suckhead
mosquitoes who pursued us,
i helped myself to the comfort of crumble cakes,
and that made me feel much much better.
i even made a wish,
although i think i might be jussssst this side of too-cynical for that stuff.
bummer.
***********
i doubt the connection i have with the outside world is going to last.
the water has attentuated my ties to virtual interactive participation
weird.
that's not at all like my real life.
oh.
wait.
there are berfdays all the time.
there are responsibilities, opportunities,
and F*ing terrible terriers that don't care what day it is
today, it's tattoos all dang day, and all of them will test me in ways
i'm wondering why i'd even allow.
oh, hold on. i know the answer to that one-
because it's all really happening-
the toughest times, the longest days, the winding road to the bottom of the hill,
and it's way to wet, and too cold
to pretend to be cheerful while i whistle (like a falling bomb) while i work;
never quiet, never soft.....