the low low

well, neighbors,
i still do tattoos,
and i still haven't been able to transfer a decent picture from my phone,
which makes 'em look awesome,
to this computarded screen,
which always looks busted.
i did this on a friend, and it's pretty flippin' big....
the picture isn't winning, though, and that's no joke.
teleport:

low-down lotus jauns in full effect.
i figure i should at least show you something about what happens
during the time spanned across the middle section of almost every single day.
i have a series of overlapping systems,
and i've come to rely on their perpetual reliable presence applied to every dang day.
one of those systems is the one that makes pictures of tattoos
look worse than the real-life tattoos.
i expect it, and therefore it happens.
cultivated coincidences require a steady stream of fuel to feed them,
or else they're just be neglected happenstances, right?
right.
-
anyway,
i've been woring on a lot of large tattbombery stuff,
and i've been at work more than i care to be.
the thing of it is,
a grand don't come for free,
and that grind date is always right around the corner....
that means doing more all of the time.
it's kinda tiring, even for someone who only sleeps when their body
finally collapses into a spent heap in need of rest and repair.
but never relaxation.
never that.
ew.
when i'm asleep, my dreams are F*ing crazy.
i've never experienced more disappointment and resentment;
and panic, and far-reaching to-and-fro anxiety over formerly far-fetched flights
of super-fancy unnecessary nightcrawling and creepy creeping;
and anger, to eleven, and back again;
and all of that sort of other other sucky sh!t,
than i do when i'm sleeping.
welllllll,
except for whenever i'm awake.
.....i guess there is THAT.
awwwwwww, man.
cold days and long nights and hard styles and all of that,
all really happening, awake or asleep?
yeah.
that's a thing.
and i think it's MY thing.
i thought bad documentation of my days' labor was an uncool thing,
but this business of waking dreams and dreams about the waking world,
one lucid enough to seem real when it isn't,
and the other nightmarish enough to seem fake, when it's real?
it's worse.
sometimes,
a whole month of bad days is what's on the menu.
F*ing november, friends.
every. single. time.
*
a cursed and jinxed and bewitched entire page of the calendar?
believe it, or not, but it's still a thing regardless.
and what's more,
bad luck or not,
november can seriously go eff it's own A* right off of itself.
word up.
that's the only sentiment i can summon up to send past my sentient senses;
never quiet, never soft.....