valentine's day.

yeah!!!
happy valentine's day!!!
hey. you.
yep.
you.
you're cute.
and i made these for you:

that's right.
i've got that kaBOOMfire, sweetie!
red velvet soft cocoa-fudgy-battered bombs.
all kinds of mauve-y crumb in 'em,
and a lot of buttery, sugary, luscious flavor, too.
that's expert.
white-chocolate-(vegan)-space-egg cream-chee' frosting,
in dual valentine's day color scheme blops?
yep.
swirls and swoops and scoops,
plus,
three different kinds of sprankles!
mmmhmmmm.
candy dots and hearts and sparkles and dashes,
(that sounds like four, but the hearts and dashes were mixed together)
making a text-message morse code sugarshock spell,
cast in cocoa and carnauba wax for your tongue to twist up,
and decipher in four bites or less.
woooooooord.
plus,
i tippity-topped 'em all with a sugar cookie cutout.
c'mon, duders, that's cute as F*.
a conversation-heart-sized little shortbread treat,
just to take it a little teeny tiny bit over the limits of regular choliday hottness,
and activate an eleven-level rating.
that's correct.
these aren't just cupcakes, neighbors.
they're love letters,
encrypted in pink and white and red,
with light and dark chocolate codebreakers working concurrently
just to let you know i'm displaying affection,
the best way i know how.
awww.
***********
go do something romantic, guys.
i mean it.
before i get it poppin' on the hearts and lace jauns,
i'm going to slide down a slippery slope.
huh?
no.
not like a gateway to questionable behaviors.
i am literally going to careen down the hill i call home,
and then i'm gonna climb another 'nother other slippery slope
when i get to the worst workplace access/egress in the area.
ew!
and once i'm there, if things go the way they're scheduled to?
it's matching crap-tats on crap-hats all day long,
provided the blustery ice of this artfully arctic avalanche
that the clouds have launched doesn't scare away all the clients.
i suppose if nobody shows, that really just means more treats for me.
.....i can live with that.
kisses and hugs,
X's and O's,
all of that.
today is the day.
i'll bring the cupcakes,
you bring the shovel,
and we'll dig in to the piles of treats and the piles of snow,
together.
awwwwwwwwwwwww;
never quiet, never soft.....