F* yeah!
it's ST▲R W▲RS D▲Y!
and that's a good day to be alive.
i am one with the force and the force is with me, neighbors.
real talk.
i used it to craft up some cuties.
mmhmm.
s'kyoot.
what?
i'm allowed to be a nerd, and get into some fun sh!t when i want to.
...that's the truth.
and besides,
if there are three things that are expert,
it's cookies, ST◬R W◬RS, and celebrating holidays.
that's right.
and you already know i effs with ALL those things.
add in some turbo-cuteness, and holy crap,
i'll positively off my t!ts with happiness for a little minute.
and i AM.
and since i was just speaking of the magic number,
you'd better believe me when i say i divided my cookie dough into thirds.
uh-huh.
a trilogy is the preferred dosage of operatic space hottness.
that's no joke.
and because rules is rules,
there can't be less than that.
there may only be two sith,
but there's three treats on my plate this morning.
word up.
check the teleport:
C'MON, SON.
i'm about to tune these up in under 11 parsecs (that'd be a new record)
-
look closer, and recognize that although there's a gungan in the frame,
these are certainly not from out of a jar-jar:
ha!
box mix is the path to the dark side, man.
i got that homemade off-the-cuff stuff poppin' off.
i know you know who they're s'posed to be,
but do you wanna know what they're composed of?
ok.
i can't really give any exxxact recipes,
since i was literally just taking one basic dough,
and then tossing other stuff in until i knew i was finished.
basically, building a lightsaber,
but with sugary kyber crystals and bantha butter or whatever.
*
alright,
for starters,
lemme tell you a bit about those
REBEL ROUNDS!
yup,
the green squadron leader is now a thing.
matcha tea sugar cookies,
with flightsuit-orange-flavored frosting filling in-between.
mmmmmmmhmmmm.
mineola zest, orange extract, and orange juice,
in a vanilla betterthanevercreme frosting base,
to activate the most flavor per bite this side of starkiller base.
yum.
next up:
*
GREEN TEA GREEDOS!!
c'mon, guys!
lemony jasmine tea,
a pinchie-pinch of that matcha,
a teentsier-tinier pinch in with powdered sugar and lemon juice
for those rodian icing bumps-
and those green sprankles were necessary to keep things tight.
a little lemon zest and oil in the cookie dough gave 'em a little exxxtra zing,
those raspberry dark chocolate eyes?
happily, i had those w&w's or whatever the vegan off-brand jauns are called,
and they are pretty damned delish as a matter of fact.
HAN SHOT FIRST.
if you're too young, or too inexperienced to know what i mean,
that's okay, but i suggest you get off your hutt and get involved.
(shoutouts to tattooine gangsters, R.I.P. greedo)
*
and last, but absolutely not least,
in true tide-turning shield-generator-destroying form,
because i live in a green forest moonlike woodsly goodlsy realm,
and also because i am a total (en)dork:
MOCHA COCONUT EWOKS!!!
ewok is an anagram for WOKE, my dudes,
and with this much coffee in cookie from,
you can't sleep on much after taking dow a couple of these wickets and chirpas.
hell yeah!
there's ground espresso beans,
shaved chocolate truffle,
and coffee extract in the dough, bro-
and they got spread with a few kinds of icing-
naturally.
i mean,.
too much IS the right amount.
first off, there's vanilla bean paste,
to stick on all that toasted coconut fur,
and then coffee, in two forms-
espresso and latte.
....yep. i'm serious.
i LOVE site-specific seasonally-appropriate awesomeness.
i really, really do.
i'm not sorry.
what's the difference between them?
one is powdered sugar, vanilla, and espresso.
the other is instant coffee, powdered sugar, and soymilk.
both are so flippin' tasty, tho.
mmmmmmmm.
chocolate-covered coffee beans for eyes?
yes.
and dark-chocolate dipped pretzel lips?
c'mon!
friends,
i am pretty psyched about today.
that's no joke.
*
tonight, however, is another story.
i'm open to suggestions for a superior sith suppertime-
maybe something with skywalker ranch dressing?
oh stop it.
i'll figure it out, or i won't.
yoda had it right.
i'm just not at the dinner stage of things, yet.
-
guys,
ST▲R W▲RS was the first movie i ever saw in theaters.
it changed everything inside my tiny young baby brain,
and i never looked back.
gone were any chances of sports, cars, or other assorted manly pursuits.
instead,
swords, sorcery, spaceships, and monsters.....so many, many monsters,
were the rulers within my headspace.
not much has changed.
i have less hair, and i can cook pretty well,
but mostly,
it's all monsters and wizards and robots all the freakin' time.
i sure do appreciate how much that first film gave a whole generation of
post-hippie kids a new hope.
no matter how overblown and bloated the franchise gets,
no matter how repugnant the fans seem,
no matter how evil the empire they've built on corporate control
mirrors palapatine's version of peace-
i'm still lucky to have been around when that sh!t FIRST showed up,
and changed the world,
forty years before the first order bored me to death.
i like what i like, and i don't even like all of what i like.
if i could, my fingers would shoot lightning all day;
never quiet, never soft.....
No comments:
Post a Comment