nope.
i'm just making some cake.
uh-huh.
once a week, just because it's good, i'm baking cake.
this time, it's a chocolate chip one,
and i have to say it- it's pretty flippin' good.
mmhmm.
look:
CAKE!
one big sugary layer of chocolate and vanilla,
frosted and dusted and decorated early in the a.m.
just so i could bring a freshly baked from-scratch pro-bono treat
to the homies in the homey hall of AMPERSAND TATTOO.
i don't know if other tattoo studios have baked goods on hand.
i don't go to other tattoo studios, so i may not ever find out-
however,
i appreciate my clients, and i appreciate the folks who span time there with them.
i do.
and so they get a little cake as a thank you.
is that what the best tattooer in the area would do?
i'm willing to wager it's NOT.
why?
because popularity contests have nothing to do with talent.
awwwwwwww.
but if we were having a cake bake off?
well then, come over here and have a bite, b.
because this radical vegan conscientious and cruelty-free gold medalist
tastes even F*ing better than the one with the eggs and the milk.
that's no joke.
single layer cakes, man.
they're for wednesdays and thursdays,
without any of the marie antoinette hang-ups that layered-cake pretensions can
create on less-than-special occasions, causing chronic loss-of-headedness....
don't get me wrong-
i love a good berfday cake.
i like the idea of wedding cakes, kinda, but not really.
stacks of cake are fantastic when the situation calls for it,
but when there's no situation to celebrate, one layer of cake is an appropriate use
of savvy bakery flair.
trust me.
one layer of cake on an ordinary day is better than four layers on a berfday.
why? because berfday cake is mandatory.
whereas surprise cake is an unanticipated delight.
those are just one old man's thoughts on the matter.
ANYway,
i made it, i ate some, nate and dylan ate some, and we all agreed it was expert.
here's what went on, in case you're compelled to create some yourself:
-
*
CHOCOCHIPCAKE!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉ convection-style
(if your oven is a million years old, and doesn't do the wind-spin within?
get a new oven. take this sh!t seriously, man. it's not fun and games... jeez.)
-
grease a 9" springform quick-release pan.
-
in a medium mixing bowl, using a pastry cutter, cream:
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp alcohol-free vanilla;
>1 cup organic sugar.
stir in:
5 oz vanilla non-dairy yogurt.
mix well,
and sift in:
2 1/4 cups flour;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/2 cup + dark chocolate chips (i used big and little ones from 2 opened bags);
1 cup non dairy milk.
stir briskly to combine, and spread the thick batter into that pan, man.
bake it for 35ish minutes, or until the center is firm and a tester comes away clean.
the edges will get a lil bit crisp.
...you want that. a tiny buttery crust, right at the end, if you eat it from the tip outwards,
will reward you with MORE frosting AND exxxtra texture if you're into that sort of thing.
mmmmmmm.
-
1 3/4 cups powdered sugar, and 4 t vegan butts, and 1/4 cup+ s'milk, and 1 tsp vanilla
that's the frosting base.
i also added 1 square of shaved baking chocolate into whatever was left over,
after spreading a healthy layer over the top of the cooled cake.
uh huh.
and that was whipped up into those infused swirls of super sexxxiness all over it.
yep.
don't eat ugly food, and you won't be as ugly of a person.
that's a thing.
...and i need all the help i can get, so believe me when i say i'm not trying to eat ugly.
shaved chocolate bar sprankles?
maaaaaaaaaan, c'mon.
rules is rules,
and you know i would not simply leave you hangin'.
how could i?
i'm not that guy, neighbors.
i'm a cake-bakey sweetheart, aren't i?
yep.
that's me.
***********
without the bitter, the sweet is not as sweet.
however,
even after all the sugar in that cake, i'm not at all much for sweetness these days.
i'm still sort of feeling unsavory;
and although, i'm not exactly bitter, just a bit salty,
i'm not sure where the contrast between extremes delineates.
y'know?
like, where the eff is the sweet hiding out?
i brought cake, dudes.
that should help, no?
i have this overwhelmingly welcome feeling when i'm at work.
i have the shabby-chic rusted rustic comfort of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
i have some semblance of affection and attention with crabtree the terrible terrier.
i eat very well every single freaking day,
i say what i mean, i do what i say, i know what i want.
i am free to do as i please, and it pleases me to do what i'm doing.
i am fortunate af for all those powerful points of interest.
so, what's the problem?
heck, the presence of this much cake should have me clicking my heels in the air,
let alone the liberty that years of hard work and sacrifice have allotted me.
is it leisure that eludes me, or the illusion of leisure that repels me?
both, probably.
y'all ever listen to de la soul?
the grind date is an album that still affects my mindset fourteen years later.
they told it, and i understood it:
'some times you can't come back- like momma said:
if you need five cents, don't ask for 3, ask for 10, that's for sure'
if i don't have twice as much, and i can't enjoy anything even halfway.
too much is the right amount,
but not if it leaves you with less.
that's just not how it works.
that sounds more like 'laugh now, cry later',
and only poor people get that tattooed on them.
-
i'm not rich and i hate that, so i plan my work, and i work my plan.
also, i still live like i don't have a lot of money-
(aside from my diet, where i am an emperor amongst kings).
why?
because sometimes you can't come back-
and while i understand that there's no guarantee of a tomorrow,
you WILL still starve to death in winter if you waste the summer .
that's word.
we only get the time we get,
which means we should make the most of these moments-
but remember,
these days it's an awful lot more difficult to go out viking
whenever we run out of what we need.
so, how do we make the most?
for me, on a personal level, it's obvious:
find a purpose, work with purpose;
try your hardest at whatever you do, then try even harder.
pay attention, plot a course, do the math (cause-and effect, it's ALL math);
learn everything, and know as much as your brain can hold...
information, experience, time, and effort.
that's worthy warrior poetry,
that's the value of an individual,
that's a testament to their importance-
and there's no better time than all-the-F*ing-time
to instate all that active participation into every day.
...
anybody still reading?
ha.
oh well;
never quiet, never soft.....
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