SWAMPS!

father's day came and went-
how was it?
well, i worked all day, just like every day,
and i tattooed a delightful 18 year old birthday girl
with a whole bunch of great big flowers.
yep. a full forearm of drawn-on freestyle roses.
i hung out with her and her mom, and we all had a good time.
...and that was the highlight.
i wasn't surprised, guys.
i live miles and hours away from all of my family,
and while i care for my dog like he's a realllly stupid little kid-
he's still a dog.
not a kid.
so, i wasn't exactly basking in the parental bliss of dadliness.
i was wrestling a wild and terrible terrier terrorist, and that's cool, too.
hmm?
it all unfolds the way it's supposed to, man.
being alone isn't the worst thing.
thinking about death and loss and getting bummed out isn't the worst thing.
effing up the spices on some hot-fire stir-fry might be the worst thing,
but i didn't DO that,
because i'm expert AF up in this Folk Life & Liberty Fortress test kitchen, bro.
yup.
that's no joke.
with or without phone calls from kids, or a dad to buy a tie for,
i still do what i do;
and what i do is create something of substance to nourish myself
during the spans of time i cross with just crabtree to keep me company.
he ate the carrot butts, i ate everything else,
and then we went for another 'nother walk in town,
where he peed on EVERYthing, and i got eaten alive by biting black flies.
sweet.
ANYway,
i went asia-type barbecued tofu for my meal,
and hooked it up with half a head of spicy sriracha lime stir-fried cauliflower, too.
check the teleport:

SO HOTTTTT.
dudes,
i dunno what the heck i thought i was doing, but i ended up doing something awesome.
uh-huh.
like, even the avocado was fully-activated and fresh-to-death.
mmmm.
that's black pepper and sriracha flakes and pink salt sprankles on top.
expert, right?
right!
*
and that cauliflower?
c'mon, kids,
y'can't just sit around out here wasting time.
that's not cool.
i had all the florets chopped evenly,
with 2 T red onion;
2 cloves crushed garlic;
1 julienned carrot;
2 T lime juice;
2 T sriracha;
a ton of HOT paprika, a few crushed red pepper flakes,
a shake or three of Garlic Powder and Onion Powder,
and 1/4 cup of hot water,
all sizzlin' and simmering and bubbling away in a very hot pan with a lid on.
that softened everything up, before i added the purple cabbage,
and a lil bit of exxtra bbq sauce.
huh?
oh, well, i didn't exactly use all of it on the tofu i haven't told you anything about yet,
so i drizz'd it all over top, and let it turn the flavor up even higher-
like, off the charts, all the way to eleven, instantly.
yup.
ASIA-type sesame ginger peanut jauns are where it's AT.
and here's what's in it:
-
*
BOOMFIRE LUXURY SAUCE!
-
4 tsp sesame oil;
1 T rice vinegar;
2 T tamari;
1 T ho'sauce;
2 tsp smoked paprika;
1 T agave;
1/2 tsp ea GPOP;
1/2 tsp ground dried mustard;
2 cloves crushed fresh garlic;
1 T black and white sesame sossamon seeds;
1/2" skin-on organic ginger, minced...
black pepper, of course, and ground coriander,
and mixed chili flakes to keep it fuego x 1k.
spicy is good for you, and if your nose isn't running, you did it wrong.
-
i had half a block of regular firm tofu sizzlin' on all sides
in sesame oil in my ceramic saute pan on superhigh heat,
gettin' crispy on the edges, with a handful of dried chinese chilis.
so HOT.
i added an off-handful of dry-roasted unsalted peanuts to the mix,
and poured most of that sauce on all of it-
which caramelized and fried and soaked in and did all the things you'd want sauce to do.
and the doo-doo was on point at the utmost in deliciousness...
here's the thing, though-
underneath all that sexxxy tofu wonderment?
grilled cabbage, bruh.
that's how you make it WORK.
no kidding.
a quarter of a head of green cabbage, blackened on two sides in a lil dollop of oil,
and spread across the bottom of that 'fu, for a fundamental foundation of dopeness.
add some red onion sprankles, and all of a sudden,
you're a superhero of suppertime celebrations.
...that's a good thing.
***********
i prefer food.
what?
ohhh, to what?
i prefer food to most things, actually.
have you ever even had food?
you have???
then you must know what i'm talking about.
food is the best.
and since i'm in charge of making it,
it's always what i want it to be.
i really like that.
a direct interface between desire and satisfaction.
what else would i even opt for?
maybe MORE time, i guess, to exercise and eat and exercise and eat again-
i do NOT look like i'm a fitness person,
but only because i'm a fat person on the inside,
staying busy, staying awake, and staying active in order to activate MORE food,
MORE often,
with fewer circumferential side-effects.
that's a thing.
i prefer food, man.
that's the truth;
never quiet, never soft.....