VEGETARIAN MONSTERS!

triceratops is the best one.
hippopotamus is also the best one.
they're herbicorous monsters from the earth, bro.
that's tight.
and bats?
bats are cool, too.
especially fruit bats.
and how about jack o'lanterns?
c'mon.
that's hallowe'en magic for your F*ing face.
so, if i were to activates some sweet sugary iced awesomes in those forms,
well, then you woulod probably be psyched, right?
damned right you would.
check it:

WOW!!
expert, y'know.
you wanna know what else?
that's cocoa icing, and vanilla icing and F*ing spooky sprankles, too.
are the orange pumpkin cookies actually pumpkin flavored?
hell yes they are.
and are those chocolate chips in the chocolate cookies?
c'mon, what am i?
an A*-hole.
you KNOW i doo-doo it right, right?
right!
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CHOCOLATE COOKIES!
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preheat the oven to 375℉
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combine
1 1/2 stixxx of vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
2 T cocoa;
3/4 cup sugar;
1/4 cup brown sugar, all thoroughly creamy and blended.
add 2-3 T non-dairy milk,
and 1 tsp baking powder,
plus 2 1/4 cups flour,
and 1/2 cup chocolate mini chips.
smoosh it all as smooth as you can, and refrigerate it before flouring
and rolling them out into whatever shapes you like.
do you bake them for 10 minutes?
yes.
do you drop the heat to 350℉?
yes.
are they awesome?
YES.
and the icing is just like always. you know how to make icing.
i literally describe it in the next post.
seasonally-appropriate site-specific sprankles are essential too.
rules is rules.
miss me with that weak sh!t, nerds.
f'real.
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and the pumpkin ones?
well,
i used:
1/2 stick buttery vegan stuff;
1/2 cup sugar;
2 T pumpkin;
2 T brown sugar;
1/2 tsp cinnamon;
1 cup flour;
1/2 tsp baking powder;
and a dash of maple syrup, plus orange coloring.
are they just as dope?
maybe even doper.
and am i happy?
OF COURSE I AM.
cookies are what you need to feel better for a few bites.
i doo-doo that.
and when i'm crunchin' a bat with a pumpkin on it?
i'm off my t!ts with happiness, of course.
it doesn't take much.
you should make some cookies.
they might not be as tight as hippos and dinos,
but i bet you'll do okay.
try it out;
never quiet, never soft.....