yeah.
i mean,
there are way more than just three, obvi.
but,
for a quick and dirty pizza party time exxxplosion,
my superior semi-semolina dough, done up three ways,
was the right call.
dudes!
the dough was a little drier than i'd have liked,
but,
there was a fatness to it, too, that defied the lack of hyperhydration,
and kept it crusty, crunchy, and intact as it baked itself into superlative saucers
of sauced and sauceless circular sexxxiness.
DASSAVIBE!
y'wanna see what i came up with?
you do?
ok.
check the teleport:
GIMME PIZZA!!
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!!!!
*
pizza is my favorite.
pizza is probably YOUR favorite, too-
at least,
it is if you're the type who knows about exploring options,
infinite customization and extrapolation on a theme,
and the creative concocting of crucial comestibles.
real talk, pizza is the ONE.
and also, for the record, if your favorite is 'steak'?
you're a sh!t-lipped F*-hole, and nobody good likes you.
ANYway,
there's no steak on these,
only all the most succulent and sexxxy bits and pieces,
live and direct from my stovetop, to my oven, to the plate, to my face.
...and yes,
they've ALL got fried garlic sprankles.
because rules is rules,
and Folk Life & Liberty Pizza isn't worth a damned thing
without those lil shards of powerful, flavorful alium shrapnel activating exxxtra hottness.
word up.
pizza pizza pizza.
homemade tastes great.
the dough is usually pretty dope, if you know what you're doing,
and the toppings are so elaborate that you really can't go wrong.
yeah.
the dough is simple, but perfect, if you don't underknead and underhydrate, like i just did.
ugh.
like i said, it was STILL dope, but it wasn't precise.
here's the right answer:
-
*
SEMI-SEMOLINA-PIZZA-PIECRUST!!
-
in your stand mixer,
combine:
1 1/4 cup semolina flour;
1 1/2 cup flour;
2 tsp salt;
1 tsp wheat gluten (optional, but recommended);
1 pkg commercial yeast;
3 T olive oil;
1 cup warm water, with 2 tsp bread machine yeast, + 2 tsp sugar,
dissolved and bloomed and active as heck.
-
add it all up, beat it up for 8 minutes, cover it,
and then, you've got options-
-
1. let it rise for 30, punch it down, let it rise for another 30,
and then refrigerate that sh!t.
OR,
2. put it directly in the fridge overnight, or for 12 hours, or whatever.
either way, divide it into 3 or 4 even chunks, bag 'em, and use 'em up as necessary.
the longer they stay in the fridge, the more flavor they'll develop,
at the expense of pliability. then again, don't let 'em sit around, man,.
BAKE AND EAT MORE PIZZA.
word.
***********
ok.
so, we've established, yet again, that pizza is TITE and TILTY.
but like, are you even curious as to what i made, specifically?
you are?!
great.
let's start with the no-sauce bossman:
WHITE, and LIGHT, and BRIGHT!
that's braised broccoli, and caramelized onions,
and heirloom grape tomatoes,
with daiya mozzarella and smoked gouda shaved on top,
a little olive oil to activate the crust,
and arugula to hook it up with that freshie-freshness.
i know, right?
simple, but elegant, and elaborate as well.
i love a clean-A* pizza pie neighbors,
and this was a heckuva starting point.
*
next up?
the best pesto i've produced in a while:
RAW PUMPKIN SEED AND BASIL HOTTNESS.
it's spicy, with raw garlic and basil doing dual duty on the savory end-
and nootch (that's nutritional yeast for you casual perusers),
and olive oil, and salt and pepper, to taste, to turn it up.
the pumplestiltskin seeds really added a creamy, nutty, hearty, transcendent element, too.
i love when that happens.
honestly, they were the only nut/seed-type thing i had in the house,
so they were elected by default.
i'm psyched it worked out, for sure.
and there's tofurky chik'n-apple-soysages.
i admit, i've been (s)lacklustering my way through most days,
what with the new studio soaking up the largest portion of my attention lately.
so, i went store bought, but i'm not ashamed, because they tasted amazing,
and that was my top priority, anyway.
there's fried peppers on top, too-
and roasted red potatoes.
yuuuuuuup.
potatoes on pizza are expert.
try it out, homie.
you'll become a believer instantly.
they're THAT good.
AAAAAND just because,
there had to be parsley sprankles,
for that little bitty baby bit of added exxxcellence,
and another 'nother other note of clean green amidst the powerful pesto-sausage-peppery tones.
a little of that so-smo'gouda, too,
to offset the creamy cashew garlic burrata-be-kiddin'-me blops i custome blended?
c'mon.
DASSAVIBE, all day.
*
the last one was a BANGER.
like, way too hot for the club, kids.
check the teleport:
BOOMFIRE FOR YOUR BUMHOLE, BRO!!
crumbled plant-based weirdie breakfast patty sausage jauns?
i did that.
and caramelized onions, because they're the best.
crushed tomato sauce? red red red red red...
it's how pizza really excels at being pizza.
braised, barely browned brussels sprouts are always on my mind when it's pizza party time,
and they always turn up and get turnt when the oven's on.
real talk.
daiya non-dairy mozzarella?
mmmhmmm.
i doo-doo that vegan sh!t.
then
hen i had a masterpiece on my hands,
i added MORE.
you know my grind, guys-
too much is the right amount.
i went ahead and activated it with some ornamentals, all the way to eleven.
how did i do that?
with those raddichio ribbons,
and a couple of baby kale leaves for that good look.
stay ugly, eat beautiful.
that's my move, friends.
i have no choice about one, but i make up for it with the other.
that's no joke.
***********
pizza is where it's at.
and good meals make long days seem more tolerable.
the new studio is developing a rhythm,
and it's a good one.
the clients seem satisfied with the work,
and impressed by the welcoming luxury of the space.
eventually,
the merchandise will arrive,
and that movie check situation will begin to remedy itself.
yikes.
i went full guap-amole on my avocado palace,
and now i've got the pinterest-knows-best greed-sweats.
never heard of those?
ask a tattooer.
they'll know.
bad ideas seems more exciting when your expenses have exceeded your income.
hahahaha.
it's all really sort of flowing along.
the path is unfolding in front of me,
and it's illuminated by copper-clad glowing wire coils.
i can see where i'm going,
but not where the road ends.
it's an adventure, clad in green, gold, and warm wood.
i'm going to need a lot more pizza,
and a lot more time,
in order to get comfortable on the journey.
i'm prepared to make and take both, by force, or by finesse,
for as long as it takes to make something amazing out of what we've created here;
never quiet, never soft.....
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