the pull of the lunar refractory reflective reflexive invective lightball
in the firmament has got me howling and gnashing and crashing and thrashing
like a wild warrior poetic werewolfen berserker battle-beast!
and that's no joke.
i've got the tremulous tics and the ragnarockin' tocs of a timewarped transformation
underway under my skin.
those blue beams have got ultramarine ultramagnetics bass-boosting every heartbeat
into a crashing crescendo of hammerin' hard-styles and heavy-handed
raging stormswept savage gypsy gyrations and bone-wracking pants-wrecking
sanity-heckling hot fire lavaspit spouts and gouts
of loopy loup garou vicious viscous lasciviousness,
leaping and lambasting all damned day and night....
ugh.
i'm not saying werewolves are real.
take it easy.
but i AM insinuating that a primitive part of my brain is overreacting and activating
some serious animal adaptations of bad behavior,
and it's really making me shake with frenetic tension.
yuck.
where do i put all that raw energy?
well,
i've got seeded and unseeded rye sourdough on the counter, kneaded and rested
and rising up just like that F*ing full-A* moon;
and i made seitan from scratch;
AND maple-style seitan sausage;
AAND sausage-linkin' lengths of red lentil seitan, too.
uh-huh.
on top of Tea 'N' Toast, and a power-packed smoothie,
i've been a busy busy boy all morning long-
too much is the right amount, man.
and when there's work to do, and sleep isn't trying to hang around,
i've gotta do that WORK.
real talk.
...so that's what's up.
***********
luckily,
there are also a few dozen delicious oatmeal cookies on hand.
hmm?
well, even tough times are a little less of a burden when there's cookies.
that's a thing.
and when the cookies are chunky nugs of seriously textured tight delightfulness?
expert actions are at hand, man!!
check the teleport:
sprankles!!!
yeah, neighbors-
oatmeal chunks, chocolate chips, black currants, cocoa icing, and those rainbow bits.
that's funtime sprarkle magic for your face, ace.
here's how to make it happen in the comfort of your own space:
-
*
OATMEAL COCONUT CHUNKERS!
-
(this is based on a recipe i saw, but haven't been able to re-find.
apologies to the o.g. author)
-
preheat your oven to 350℉
-
in an adequately sized mixin' bowl, cream together:
1 stick (1/2 cup/ 8T) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
3/4 cup brown sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
4 T maple syrup.
add 1 cup unsweetened medium flake coconut;
1 cup rolled oats;
1/2 cup quick oats;
1 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
2 T non-dairy milk;
1 cup flour;
2/3 cup chocolate chips;
1/2 cup black currants.
mix it all up, roll out some golfballs of dough,
and bake 'em arranged evenly on trays, for about 15 minutes or so-
don't be afraid to flatten your cookies a bit if they haven't melted down enough
to aesthetically please you.
...i did. i don't regret it, either.
cool 'em off, maybe even put 'em on a wire rack after a few minutes,
and then ice and sprank 'em.
y'gotta.
MORE color and MORE sweetness is a good thing.
the icing is simple: powdered sugar, cocoa, s'milk, vanilla-
in decreasing proportion, you'll get what you need-
i LOVE a good cookie.
i really LOVE oatmeal cookies.
and especially the knobbly exxtra chunky jauns.
these guys are some of the most rewarding, in regards to texture.
no jokes.
they're a complicated profile, and it's damned enjoyable.
try 'em.
if you like oats and coconut, these are your new friend.
and the recipe makes a LOT of 'em, which is nicey-nice.
MORE cookies is better than less, always.
***********
easter, april fools day, AND sandwich week?
holy crap.
ok.
to be honest and upfront:
i don't care about the first, i'm not crazy about the second,
but i'm ecstatic about the last.
my lineup is still unsettled, and i don't have a full eight days planned at all-
i'm caught up on april fooling around on easter with not-my-family togetherness.
hmmm?
i was volunteered to make pizzas for a group of non-vegans.
that's right.
huh?
oh, stop.
it'll be fine.
what's the worst that could happen?
harsh words? violence? murder?
no way.
maybe a few snide slightly-inebriated comments directed my way,
regarding diet, lifestyle, and perhaps my moral compass-
but i'm an adult, dudes.
if things go south, i have the ability to just leave them to their day,
and head back up slightly more north.
that's a comfort, to say the least.
also,
pizzas for sandwich week?!?
now THAT'S april foolery.
ha.
it'll be fine....just like i already said.
i do love a good pizza, and the opportunity to flex a few
of my boomfiery expert pizza-making skills on these unsuspecting parents and kids
is an opportunity i didn't know i was ready for,
but, it turns out,
when it's ALL always really happening, you're always ready for whatever comes next.
this is it, kids.
and that's that;
never quiet, never soft.....
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