MACKIN'!

macaroons.
bloppity balls of coconut cookie.
if you love coconut as much as i do,
you definitely need some macaroons more often.
i have to say,
it'd been a minute since i'd made some,
and i didn't go and look back on this blog to check my old recipes.
nope.
i just forged ahead with coconut cookies,
and hoped for the best outcome with the least investment of research.
uh-huh.
good news, dudes.
i made something pretty fresh.
soft, chewy, sweet, toothsome, tight, semi-spherical spoonfuls of coconut hottness.
yeah!
wanna see?
then check the most-mackinest-type teleport:

MACAROONISHES!
with chocolate?
F* yes.
our buddy dylan suggested that,
and i listened.
if y'all were suggesting things, maybe i'd be listening to you, too...
but you keep quiet, and the squeakin' wheelies get the 'roons,
while buffoons look on from the sidelines with drool hangin' out the corners of their mouths.
hahahaha.
first of all,
the chocolate was divine.
here's what i did:
-
*
NEW CHOCO-COCOA-COCO-NUTS!
-
in a small saucepot, on low heat, melt:
 1 T unrefined coconut oil;
3 T cocoa powder;
2 T coconut palm sugar;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
3 T powdered sugar;
1 T non-dairy milk.
-
make sure there's no lumps.
that's legitimately the only requirement to make it expert.
word.
that's the new fuego for your 'nuts and butts,
*
moving forward,
the actual cookies were something of a challenge,
because i really am not a macaroon-maker, and i was also baking cake,
and kneading bread dough,
and attending to crabtree....more about him later.
so,
i was winging it.
and i was wringing my hands about it.
here's what i had going on.
maybe you can tewak it and freak it off and improve it.
let me know what you come up with if you try it out.
here's the basics:
-
*
MACKS!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉.
-
in a medium metal mixing bowl, mash together:
6 T unrefined coconut oil;
1/2 cup sugar;
1 cup medium flake unsweetened coconut;
1 tsp vanilla.
chop it, cream it, totall and completely macerate all of that.
then stir in:
1 cup unsweetened coconut;
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;
combine it,
the add:
2/3 cup coconut flour;
1 cup a.p. flour.
knead it up, and roll it into little mincey balls >2".
i then rolled them in coarse chopped coconut flakes, as well.
i mean, c'mon-
too much is the right amount.
you're gonna wanna bake 'em for about 13 minutes or so.
they'll get slightly golden, but they'll stay super-soft.
i like that. it helps them slide down exxxtra smooth.
and with the chocolate drizz' and some MORE coconut sprankles?
F*ing right on, man.
rules is rules,
and overdoing it is really just correctly doing it.
cooled off and cocoa'd up, these couple dozen little dollops of that deep, dope doo-doo
had me munchin' my face right off with happiness.
-
are they macaroons for realsies?
no. not exxxactly.
but are they still  magical mackin' coconut goobieblops?
for sure.
just eat 'em up and be glad for it.
and like i said-
if you make 'em better, let a guy in on the improvements.
word.
***********
now,
let's get back to crabtree.
that little self-destructive overindulgent decadent hedonist.
he's something special,
and he's determined to routinely undermine my lunar new year's resolution.
uh-huh.
i'm trying to keep my composure,
and he's trying to devolve my whole being into a paleolithic caveman of
bestial berserker battle-beastly ruin, wreckage, and woe.
no joke.
he got into his food storage,
and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate....
so, of course, his insides were packed to bursting,
and bursting,
and also, bursting.
he cannot help himself. i understand that.
but, the twenty thousand trips outside to sh!t, in a hurry,
with the fastbreaks and the breakbeats
and the double-bass boosted buttslaps and flaps and cracks and craps,
still derailed my whole morning and afternoon.
yup.
he follows his infinite natural instincts to perpetual failure,
and in a way i almost respect it.
the lack of understanding of consequence is definitely some pure-being,
in-the-moment, natural life journeying-
but,
it's still not good for anybody.
not one bit.
...and it reminds me of somebody else i know, too.
when faced with the opportunity to dive headfirst into pointless self-indulgent destruction,
some folks just can't stay away,
and they can't stop once the first step is taken.
it may not be all the time,
but it's every time the option exists.
meanwhile,
i'm the big dummy making concessions and taking care.
where are all my motivated self-improvers at?
my no-days-off, no-excuses,  no-holds-barred bros, at?
my path to perfection requires a whole lot of creativity,
but not much imagination.
just be dope,
and if the choice in front of you isn't going to make you any better?
don't do that.
obvi.
ugh.
-
     dear crabtree,
                  you are not cool when you do naughty things.
                  yes, you are very good lookin', which counts for something;
                  but it's not a permission slip to destroy yourself.
                  try not to be so dumb.
                                     .....please?

                                                     xoxo,
                                                        your papa,
                                                                 albie
-
it's all really happening.
there are tattoos to do.
there is homework to do.
there's work on my home to do.
there's SO MUCH to do.
and i'm over here falling asleep and falling apart
and falling over myself to stop this little anvil-headed pigdog
from ruining both of our mornings.
this is just another sunday i suppose.
real-life unfolds and reveals pictures one page at a time.
today's installment looks to be a real tiring one,
but the energy is certain to be put to good use;
never quiet, never soft.....