PADDY BOY

heyyyyyyy-o!
my eyes aren't irish, but they're still smilin'.
yup.
i've got green on green on green on green,
all set up and ready to (sham)rock and roll today!
you'd think i was envious or nauseous, that's how much green i'm reppin'.
and what's more,
i'll be packed up into AMPERSAND TATTOO,
which is as green and gold as ireland itself-
a veritable leprechaun's pot o' gold, an' that.
 i've got tatty o'zapps to rainbow out, so off work i go.
as always, and forever,
i will NOT be getting drunk,
i will NOT be eating green eggs,
and i will NOT be at a flippin' parade.
no way.
it's (more than) okay not to drink;
i'm vegan for life;
and parades are SO TERRIBLY TERRIBLE.
(may day in minneapolis is exempted from this decree)
i mean, it's just a lot of dudes walking by.
i don't get it.
...and worse,
when it's st. paddy's day,
it's a bunch of drunk, terrible, loud dudes watching a bunch of dudes walk by.
...and it's windy as heck today,
so there's even less of a chance that i'd wanna be out there.
still,
i've got spirit, guys.
i do.
loads of it.
in fact,
i've got soda bread in the oven!
with black currants, but NO caraway seeds.
yup.
i'm trying out a new recipe, and i don't really know if it'll work like i want it to-
i DO know it'll still sop up some boiled d like a sponge,
so it'll work, even if it's not like i want it to.
cabbage, tricolor mini potatoes, rainbow shaved small carrots, boiling onions-
i've got all the trimmings for a triumphant dinner conversion,
from bland and beige to big-action activated banger for these streets.
it's food and costumery, plumery, and finery,
sans buffoonery.
or, at least, no drunken buffoonery anyway.
sober stupidity all the way, all day.
***********
that said,
i made myself a magnificently moist cacao cake yesterday.
yup.
i did.
and like, i used a LOT of cacao.
i even did some stone cold molcajete stone-ground nibs!!
wanna see?
ok.
check the teleport:

DEEP, DARK, DOPE.
what?
well, yea, that's peanut butter icing on top.
hmmm?
oh, yeah, that's crushed dry roasted peanuts and caco nib sprankles over that.
guys,
c'mon-
too much is the right amount,
and rules is rules.
y'can't just come at it like a weak lil baby b!tch, bro.
in for a penny, in for a pound-
and when it's cake time at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
we go harder than the hardest,
and make it more expert than an absolute authority on the matter.
that's just our way.
you wanna make something of it?
no?
oh!!
you just wanna make it!
here's the plan, man:
-
*
CACAO AND HOW!
-
preheat the oven to 350℉
-
in a medium mixin' bowl, cream up:
2/3 cup brown sugar;
1 stick 8T) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
3 T coarse crushed cacao nibs;
stir in:
2/3 cups non-dairy vanilla yogurt;
1/4 cup cacao nibs;
3 T cacao powder;
1 tsp bakey powder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
2 1/4 cups flour;
4 T tapioca flour;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
-
stir it up, make it nice, keep it thick, and spoon it into a greased springform pan.
bake it up for 35 minutes, or until the center is don through and through.
remove it, cool it off until it's room temperature, on a wire rack,
and when it's no longer a hot circle?
ice it up!
-
1/2 cup powdered sugar;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
4 tsp natural peanut butter;
and enough s'milk to make a thick drizzly icing.
you got it.
then add the spranks,
and the frosting.
huh?
right.
chocolate frosting is necessary here.
i mean, if it isn't overdone, is it even worth doing?
you know the answer already.
***********
i'm somehow already running later than late this morning.
i s'pose that the seitan on the stove,
the fresh-baked sourdough bread,
the run over to the grocery store to resupply for supper,
the soda bread,
and this damned dirty demanding doo-doo buttery dog
have all conspired to consume my pre-work day.
that's great.
now,
it's a mad dash to get it all wrapped up,
and get all my green on,
and get over to the studio to get those pots of gold.
it's all really happening,
no snakes, no emerald islands, but plenty of blarney for all the rest;
never o'quiet, never mcsoft.....