BLOOD!

dudes,
it's may the 4th,
and that's ST△R W△RS D△Y.
now,
normally,
i'm up and at 'em and full-steam-ahead all-aboard the celebration train.
but today is not normal.
nope.
i'm just not feeling it.
like, not one even little teeny tiny baby bit.
i'm shocked, and surprised, and even a little sad to admit
that i do not have the force awakening inside me.
not even the red lightsaber kind.
damn, dudes,
i hope it passes before the day is done,
and the spirit and memory of tatooine replaces the dirge and drudge of tatuage,
so i can conjure up some anakin mannequins or somethin'.
i've got less sleep than usual under my eyelids,
and more tattoos than usual to perform all day.
what?
no.
none of them are star wars themed.
tight.
plus, i'm more solo than han, but still less b!tchlike than ben...
at least i've still got crab-bacca to wookie around with this morning-
we'll see what happens.
i'm imagining a a thai-fighter stir-friday, perhaps?
i hope the page turns,
and a new hope sprouts up before supper.
that's all i can really say.
*
i made a cake.
i always do.
check it:

BLOOD ORANGE FROSTED FRESHNESS!!!
yeah!!
bad news, neighbors-
i think i might've overdone it on the tapioca in the batter.
mmhmm.
it pudding'd up when it cooled, despite being thoroughly baked.
it was weird. it tastes great, but damn, dudes-
it's actually almost moist in a bad way.
haha. yup.
that's real.
so, let's skip the cake recipe,
and talk instead about the frosting-
-
*
VAMPIRE CITRUS!
-
2 cups of powdered sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp orange extract;
1/4 cup fresh-squeezed blood orange juice;
1/2 blood orange zest;
4 T vegan butter.
ship whip whip it good in your stand mixer, or with your handheld jauns,
until it's fluffy af.
the color? it's mauve, almost.
the flavor? it's expert, totally.
the sprankles? they're color coordinated, of course.
sometimes, your cake isn't the best one ever.
that's when you hope the frosting carries the day.
this was one of those times.
***********
me and my homeboy nate will be tattzapping and rap-blastin'
all weekend long at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
that includes a cinco de mayo celebration,
and a revenge of the sixth spot, as well.
also,
you'd better believe my flips and my flops are strapped to my feet,
because after MAY DAY, that's what happens.
rules is rules.
the toenails? painted (and trimmed to respectable proportions)
color-matched to the studio?
OBVI.
what do you think i am?
some kind of an A*-hole?
there is some merit to circumventing ST△R W△RS D△Y-
i mean,
i'm talking about gungans, or that green boob-milk walrus bird thing,
and the porgs....
c'mon.
but,
chumping out on real world real time real talk and presentable personal flavorful style?
that's never ever ever allowed.
no way.
we coordinate and we get custom as heck-
why?
because we're hand-tailored detail-oriented experts,
and what we do every day, we pass on down to you and yours in each and every tattoo.
that's our thing.
maybe i'll get vader'd up, maybe i won't.
maybe i'll have lightning fingers later on,
or maybe i'll find a new definition of pain and suffering as i get sarlacc'd
over a thousand years....
only time will tell.
i've got 11 parsecs to set the record, and set the record straight;
never quiet, never soft.....