QUICKLY

guys,
i made a cake.
i know, i do that pretty regularly.
but that's just it-
when you're makin' cakes all the time,
y'gotta get creative, so you're not just making the same cake all the time.
i don't want to munch up on an identical one to the last one.
no way.
if i'm going to keep myself motivated,
i'm going to have to keep moving forward.
and forward isn't defined by the same cake, man.
i don't know if that's actually true,
but i made a whole other 'nother cake all the same.
check it out:

WHIPPED GANACHE!!!
that's tempered melted dark chocolate, non-dairy milk,
and a little powdered sugar to help it firm up again,
whisked around while hot, and spread thick and rich and fully
over the surface of a pretty expert, very texturally satisfying crumb.
i'd already baked bread, so the oven was very hot.
that's a plus- not waiting for preheat.
i slept about ten seconds all night, so my brain was both on high alert and deep in the mud,
but i still managed to make this heavy-duty baked greatness with no complications.
although, i did run fairly short on TIME.
but that's what happens every day, anyway.
so,
we got ourselves a F*ing tasty treat,
and i'll wager one of you may wanna make on of your own.
here's how:
-
*
BROWNSUGARYVANILLABEANYCOCONUTTINESS!
-
preheat your oven to 360℉
-
grease a 9"springform pan.
(single layers, neighbors. more cakes more often...that's what's on the schedule here)
-
in your stand mixer, with the cake paddle in place, combine:
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1 cup dark brown sugar;
2 tsp vanilla bean paste;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/2 cup unsweetened  applesauce.
-
whisk well, then add:
2 1/2 cups flour;
2 tsp bakin' powder;
1 tsp bakin' soda;
1/3 cup unsweetened unsulphured small flake coconut;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
whip it into a frenzy, and aerate the heck out of that wet batter-
-
spread it evenly in the pregreased pan, and bake it for 35ish minutes in the preheated oven.
kaBOOM.
just like that, you've got cake.
let it cool, unsprung, before ganaching the top.
that's a LOT of chocolate on there, but it works like a magic spell
to conjure new hottness and large-and-in-charge lusciousness for your face.
and sprankles?!
of course there are some crunchy candy niblets on there.
c'mon.
i'm not tryin' to make a lame cake, kids.
jeez.
-
i had some frosting, and i used some frosting.
too much is the right amount, right?
and besides, exxxtra frosting is good for you.
that's real.
***********
we laugh a lot at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
we really do.
i mean, day after day, interweaving our lives and our careers together,
and intersecting and overlapping all that information,
interpreted through an obstacle course of linguistic acrobatics,
has got us thoroughly invested in conversations that have an almost
darwinian galapagos isolated evolution, only occurring at breakneck speeds
limited only by how fast we can deliver the next sentence...
..and it's always interesting to me to see just how long it takes for newcomers
to learn the nuances and intricacies of our partially-encoded thieves' cant.
y'know?
we essentially have our own lexicon.
and it's not a secret language, exactly-
it's simple, really-
the patterns that form from repeated familiar interaction,
based in english, with assorted multicultural slang inclusions,
convoluted metamorphoses of pun and wordplay,
and a shorthand that evolves for maxxximum efficiency right in front of
our own ears and mouths, man.
we have that.
we doo-doo that.
it's kind of our thing.
and usually it only takes a little minute,
with context clues letting y'all in on the gist of things,
before the conversation becomes an even bigger, better, more inclusive evolution,
with your help.
talk to us.
please.
we encourage it;
never quiet, never soft.....