INTERACT

my relationship with crabtree is tough, but it's also predictable.
what?
oh.
crabtree is my totally terrible bull terrier shark-bullet-
appetite and velocity are his primary attributes,
but recalcitrance and hindrance are what he minored in at doggy daycare-
now, i've always considered myself a dog person-
singular.
A dog person.
one person; and just one dog.
and while there are lots and lots of dogs in this world,
honestly, i don't give a single sh!t about most of them-
but,
crabby is my dude.
and he is also a wriggling, unwrangleable handful of hot fire and greased lightning.
here's the thing-
all he wants is simple- all my attention all the time;
if we could just go around smelling and urinating on things,
in-between walking to, and sitting down in, dirty, smelly places
that look like they could use a good splash of pee, then he'd be the best dog ever.
unfortunately,
i have other ambitions that interfere with aimless effluvial evacuation.
that's where the difficulties arise.
it's awfully had to convince this battle-beast that where i want us to walk is superior
and a priority, relative to the something-gross-that-might-kill-me he'd prefer to investigate.
it makes our walks more like running streetfights,
and it makes our bachelor-style home life more like a boxing gym.
lucky me, right?
weirdly, though- as much as he doesn't give a single eff about what i care about,
he still wants all my focus to be on acknowledging him.
guys,
i think i've got a deafer, more physically-impressive canine version of myself.
it's conflict and affection,
resistance and stubborness and general inflexibility,
coupled with weird looks and insistent contact.......
i may be learning a lesson here-
i just hope it's not my initial takeaway, which is:
we are both terrible, and we deserve each other.
-
i've had plenty of time to think about this over the last few weeks,
as he and i span time almost exclusively with one another.
he's much improved for the lack of company, save the strangers who accost us on the streets.
uh-huh.
we walk, we drive, we sleep, we eat together.
he and i.
i'm excited for my closest people, as they have partners, practices, parties, or whatever
to occupy their time-
and while i'm not disappointed that what i've got instead if this damned dumb dog,
it does get tedious exclusively attending to a non-reciprocating companion.
wait.
that's basically what i was doing before, with my human partners.
only, the dog is far, far less hesitant to display his genitalia.
ugh.
still, that's concerning, no?
and it means that i probably i gotta do something different.
otherwise, what's gonna change, right?
word.
that's what's up.
me and my milky boi (that's crab) had better interject some new hottness into
our world, ourselves, our tag-team title run,
and the interactive interface between us and you.
it starts today.
right now.
or, as soon as he wakes back up, anyway.
so keep an eye out for us-
and keep your toes on their tips,
because we just might both pee on you to claim you as ours;
never quiet, never soft.....