uh-huh.
there's no time, and no room for any chumplestiltskin bummer brekkies for us.
y'heard me, bro.
me and my oldest kids have our things we get into-
and one of 'em is starting our mornings off like we're gonna do some lumberjack jauns.
yup.
we want the big deluxe expert morning glorious activation for our first-thing faces.
that's real.
i mean, it's not as if we're all just sitting around together eating cereal all the time.
nope.
in reality, our time is special because it's limited.
and in that limited time, we want to have the most awesome collection of moments.
that almost always involves the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress test kitchen laboratory.
we're just like that, man.
and this time, we went hard on the hashbrowns,
and even harder on the french-style toast.
on the ones, we really did a thing this time....
check the teleport:
SPROUTED WHOLE WHEAT SOURDOUGH FRENCH TOAST IS THE BEST!!!
dudes,
homemade bread, sliced into slabs, soaked in our custom eggless better batter,
and sizzled on both sides with a pitty-pat of vegan butter??!
shoutouts to being amazing at morning foods!
word.
and the scrambo? s'dope.
and those hashie smashie potatoes???
maaaaaan, y'all ain't ready for that much shredded potato hottness....
alright, we'll begin with the toast, i s'pose-
-
*
FRENCH-STYLES!
-
good bread is key here. without it, you've got garbage on your plate,
and you're garbage as a person, and that's just how it is.
so, we had 5 fat slices of sourdough bread, baked from scratch at the beginning of the week
and headed on down the far side of fresh.
five of 'em, for your fat F*ing faces, friends.
(the batter could've soaked two more, for the record)
so, sprouted whole wheat is hearty as heck, and it makes for a very tasty toast, too.
that's no surprise, because good bread makes better people,
and better people using better bread make better everything.
ANYway,
in a sorta deep, sorta small mixing bowl,
whisk together:
1 1/2 cups almond milk;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 T chia/flaxmeal blend;
1 T egg replacer starch;
1 T nutritional yeast;
2 T agave;
2 T tapioca starch;
cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice.
let that thicken for at least fifteen? minutes- and then dredge your bread in it,
both sides, covered and soaked and allowed to sponge up all that thick blarpity batter.
i left all of 'em in there for a bit-
sourdough is heavy and it takes it's time wicking up all that flavorful moisture.
-
now, there are a few essential points of procedure to consider when cooking these-
1. the pan should be hot.
2. a little baby bit of slightly browned vegan butter will really turn the taste up to eleven.
3. don't flip 'em right away- they gotta get good and toasty or they'll stick and suck.
4. a few shakes of exxxtra cinnamon and a pinch or two of brown sugar NEVER hurt anybody,
so don't be scared to caramelize a bit on the top side-
seriously, the sugar will liquefy when it's time to flip 'em ,
so it also acts as a thoroughly-cooked-through indicator, too.
mmmmmm.
-
if you aren't using real maple syrup, you're effing up.
hard.
you know that's our move up here in real new england, always.
yeah.
after all, rules is rules- and corn syrup isn't on the list, b.
these saturated sourdough slabs were great already-
but with those bananas and a little shake of ka-powdered sugary sprankles??
too much is the right amount, and these were the righteous-est in a while.
*
that scrambo is a crowd-pleaser, neighbors-
like, i'm always glad i've made it, every single time.
i've been using regular firm tofu, instead of exxxtra-firm.
i dunno if it actually makes a difference, but i think it does, so that's cool.
the thing is, it's pretty simple, so i'm always sorta surpised that it tastes so flippin' GOOD.
a block of crumbled slightly drained 'fu,
with a huge shake of Garlic Powder, and Onion Powder,
and a punch of nootch,
AND pink and black salt (just a little of each)
AAND turmeric and black pepper to activate it,
AAAND a touch of smoked paprika to freak it off, and make it better.
...which it does.
all sauteed with a little olive oil, and browned slightly on medium-high heat.
plus, a couple of cilantro sprankles?
guys, i'm just sayin'- it's basically a free victory, but it's still a victory,
and i'll take 'em where i can get 'em.
real talk.
-
it was ALL so F*ing dope.
look:
right?!
yeah.
*
those HASHERS, tho, brothers and sisters.
that's that good-good.
four shredded skin-on red potatoes;
one peeled, shredded white carrot;
1/4 thinly-sliced red onion, salted, squeezed, and drained...
the carrot is key. it adds firmness, and sweetness,
and helps with the crispy caramelization.
plus, red onion looks better in the 'browns, bruh.
i stand by that.
high heat, lots of oil, and a non-stick skillet are your friends here.
as are GPOP and black pepper.
more flavor is a great idea, so do that when you can, y'know?
y'gotta have a heck of a lotta patience too-
these aren't fast to make.
in fact, they should be the first thing you make, despite being described here last.
time is on your side, though.
if you can wait 'em out, you'll get the very best potato magic you've ever had.
and that's no joke.
also, you'd best believe that i freaked 'em proper with those scallion spranks.
mandatory exxtras, kids.
that's how we live around here.
***********
today, AMPERSAND TATTOO is closed.
yup.
even though it's summer.
even though it's the weekend.
even though i need all the money, always.
even though it's normally against my nature to indulge in 'fun'....
the tattzappers, and the family, and the dudes who help out, are all headed to vermont.
uh-huh.
after a prolonged absence from my life,
the bread & puppet circus is back on my radar.
and we're spanning time and sharing the experience,
and it's all really happening in the name of community-building for me and my people.
we're four short of a full squadron, to be honest-
...but that's just how this year seems to be, anyway.
revisiting old haunts is good.
and maybe cathartic, maybe energizing, maybe inspiring...
we'll see.
exhuming ghosts of the past is risky business,
but only half as risky as exorcising the haunted house
that i'm holed up in every damned night normally
i guess i'm on a reminiscent tour of the old days, cleaning house,
literally and physically, and removing the skeletons from all the closets,
real and imagined.
it's all really happening,
we'rekissing off and flipping off all the ode days,
and we're headed off into the future together,
me and you and everyone we know-
pooping back and forth, forever;
never quiet, never soft.....
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