that's a fact.
i'm in charge.
i'm the boss.
it's all my decision, dudes.
and whenever i'm allowed to indulge in my deepest-rooted darkest desires?
yeah, it turns out, i'm molto boring, bro.
uh-huh.
it's ALWAYS pizza.
haha! .....but i'm serious, though.
last night, saturday night, all-the-way-lively,
i was home alone making pizza like a F*ing champion.
yuuuup! that's riiiiight.
i want all the pizza,
and then i want a little bit MORE,
and then, another slice or two for my face-
because on the ones, too much is the right amount.
i'm a pizza man, neighbors, right down to my core.
and the pizza i'm making is expert af.
check the pee-eye-zee-zee-ayy-type teleport:
YEAH, BOIIIIII!!!
that crust? elite!
the sauce? homemade, chunky, magical garden-fresh hottness!
the toppings? FAN-F*ING-TASTIC!
yup.
radical from-scratch freshness, with all the fixin's is where it's at.
...
and here's how it happened-
-
*
SAUCE!!!
-
that's five halved tomatoes, blackened on a hot pan for a good long while,
with olive oil and salt, and refrigerated overnight.
i drained off the excess liquid, and processed the 'matoes to a pulp,
with a quarter of a red onion, and a whole carrot-
it's chunky as heck, and i cooked the whole thing while the oven was preheating,
and the dough was proofing-
mmhmm.
i added olive oil, and garlic to the pot, first,
and then added a splash of white wine vinegar,
a glug or two of soy sauce,
and a punch of fresh-plucked basil.
when it was bubbling away, i dropped in a pinch of sugar,
and a spoonful of nootch, too.
...then, once it was all cooked through and gettin' thick,
i strained off the excess liquid, and let it cool so it would ruin the dough, bro.
smart!
*
that dough?
magnificent.
f'really real-
-
*
DOUGH!
-
1 cup flour;
3/4 cup bread flour;
1/4 cup sprouted wheat flour;
2 tsp sea salt;
1 T cracked black pepper;
3 T olive oil;
1 T yeast;
>1 tsp wheat gluten;
3/4 cup warm water, + 1 tsp bread machine flour, +1 tsp agave, bloomed.
all that gets kneaded in a stand mixer for ten minutes in a row,
until the dough is a stiff little ball-
cover it and let it rise, in the fridge allll damned day,
before preheating the oven to 480℉,
on that convection setting if you got it like that,
and stretching the dough out on an oiled tray or pan, neighbors.
here's my move-
i freak it off first, over the baking stone, ON a seasoned steel pan-
then i transfer it to the stone directly for the last few minutes-
it makes everything better, and that's gotta happen.
who wants not-better pizza?
losers, that's who.
-
soy-glazed brussels sprouts? yep.
y'boi has the touch when it comes to those jauns.
really-
first, i browned up some chunky garlic sprankles in oil in the pan-
rules is rules, and it's well-known those are mandatory around here-
and i moved those to the special fired garlic container,
but threw all my slivered sprouts into the infused oil.
good idea, right? yep. i know.
and i added a splash of water to cook 'em up,
and then doused 'em in tamari to turn up the tastiness to eleven.
they should be softened, but not mushy. that's gross.
and they're going in that hot af oven right after, remember?
yeah.
-
shredded spinach over that chunky sauce?
smart!
caramelized sweet onions over two fat handfuls of minced daiya mozzarella-style chee'?
really smart.
brown-on-purpose kumato baby grape tomatoes?
genius.
and how about MORE of those sprankles?
man, you KNOW that's the TRUTH!
...
with the freshest basil right from outside the door on top?
good pizza makes for great times.
that's a fact.
-
your saturday may have been amazing.
and really, i hope it was.
but,
up here in the overcast and slightly chilly woodsly goodness,
mine was exactly, specifically, custom-tailored to my personal tastes,
and it was perfect,
is there even anything else to say?
oh, right;
never quiet, never soft.....
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