CARAMEL GARGAMEL!

vegan caramel chips.
yup.
king david makes them.
i dunno who he is, or if he's really a king,
but his chips are F*ing rad, neighbors.
i used a whole cup of them in a cake,
and i didn't use any gluten while i was at it.
cool, huh?
i thought it was, anyway.
check the teleport:

CARAMEL GARGAMEL, MAN!
so, it's like this:
i had two green apples, and i peeled them, i cut 'em into 1/2" chunks,
and i heated 'em up in a small pot, with a splash of vanilla, a dash of salt,
a pat of vegan butter, and 1/4 cup of powdered sugar, until they were slightly softened,
but NOT mushy.
that's the move.
i set 'em aside, and got to work on the big action immediately.
you wanna know about it?
ok.
i'll tell you about it:
-
*
CAAAAAKE!
-
preheat your oven to 360℉
-
in a medium-sized mixin' bowl, using a pastry cutter, combine:
1 cup brown sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 T cinnamon;
1 tsp allspice;
1/2 tsp ginger;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/2 tsp nutmeg;
1 stick (8 T) vegan butter;
next,
add 1 cup vegan caramel chips;
and 1 cup mama's almond flour blend (get it, it's perfect for this);
1 cup bob's all-purpose baking mix;
1 tsp xantham gum;
3 T tapioca starch;
3 T garbanzo flour;
1/4 cup unsulphured unsweetened medium flake coconut;
1/3 cup gf oat flour.
-
add the warm apples, and 1/2 cup non-dairy milk, and stir until you've got a sticky batter.
the apples melt the caramel a bit,
the weird flours get all gloppity and bloppity,
and all of it goes into a 9" greased springform pan, man.
that's the way to doo-doo that freaky sh!t, son.
trust y'boi on this, i'd never lead you astray.
bake it for at least 35 minutes, maybe longer-
just don't let those steamy apple sog up your cake.
let it bake until a tester comes away clean from the center.
-
cool it completely- spring that form open, too, to speed it up,
or that ring will trap alllll the moisture and make it lame.
nobody wants lame cake, dudes.
ever.
-
the caramel drizzle?
4 oz. of chips, plus 3 T non-dairy milk, plus low heat, in a small pot.....
melt 'em up, and let the liquid emulsify that sugary swamp into a syrup,.
and squeeze it all out of a pastry bag, or plastic baggie with a corner cut off,
so that you get the loveliness, and the stripiness, all over the top.
you can do it, because i can do it, and i'm no superhero, buddy.
nope.
i'm just a guy trying to bake gluten-free stuff for the girl i like.
otherwise, i'd just have made wheat cake, and it would've already been read already.
ha!
i do exxxtra stuff for the most exxxtra ones.
that's my style, because i know the rules,
and the first on the list?
yup.
too much is the right amount.
anything less is so F*ing terrible, i won't even consider it.
that's a thing.
now, go enjoy your cake baking, my friends;
NQNS....