and all i wanted were expert vegan overstuffed soft flour tacos.
jeez, neighbors, my big chance to get wild,
and i spent most of it feeling like a thousand pound beached whale.
ha!
too much is the right amount,
and that's no joke.
soft flour fancy vegan eats?
yes please.
i love tacos.
you do too, and you know it.
so,
i made four tacos that felt like forty tacos,
and i'm gonna keep it real with you, dog-
they were F*ing awesome-
yup.
check 'em out:
BEANS ON BEANS, with alllllll the fixin's.
i got some new authentic soft four flaps from the grocer,
and they're thicker, but softer, and way better than the old style i was reppin'.
i'm serious-
the right tortilla can transform a whole day, not just a meal, man.
that's real.
here's the line-up inside each one:
nootch-boosted ho'sauce-activated refried pinto beans;
smoky, spicy black beans with red bell pepper;
AVO-F*ING-CADO;
purple carrot and radish;
lettuce and cilantro;
pickled jalapenos;
sweet onion and scallion;
brown-on-purpose grape tomatoes;
sweet black-peppery fried pepitas;
lime.
kaBOOOOOM!!!!!
that's a lotta hottness-
and with a scoople of fire-roasted tomato salsa on each?!
they went to eleven, and then they kept right on going, bro.
*
the refritas?
so tight and TILTY.
that's 15oz of mashed beans,
with 1 T olive oil,
1/4 minced sweet onion,
1/4 cup minced sweet bell and jalapeno pepper;
generous shakes of GPOP and black pepper,
2 T nutritional yeast;
2-3 T ho'sauce (i do texas pete, he's my homeboy)-
and that's IT.
but, like, DAS IT, though, too,.
*
those black beans?
simple simple simple.
it's just a cup of beans and a couple of slivered red peppers
(i use the minis, because they're kyooot, but like a quarter cup, tops)
a little bitty baby bit of cilantro stems, finely chopped,
and a spoonful of olive oil, in a very hot pan-
all fired up with a shake of GPOP,
and a little fresh oregano and thyme,
and a heavy spoonful of smoked paprika and a baby shake of cayenne-
plus a lime's worth of juice,
sizzled up and set aside for you to enjoy,
with a crack or ten of black pepper, just to make sure it''s expert.
*
do you toast your tortillas?
no?
well, you do now-
they're better that way, so don't keep missing out because you're a lazy bumhole, buddy.
seriously.
all the crawncy veggies were on point.
lechuga y cilantro y zanahoria púrpura y rábano?
i had that freshie-fresh poppin' SO much.
and the double onions?
man, listen, i was home alone, but my breath was so bad,
it was bothering people in the afterlife-
damn. worth it, for sure, but daaaaaaamn, y'boi had the dragon, son.
oooof.
-
what about those glazed pepitas?
sprankles are essential, so i had that essence in full effect-
oil, black pepper, a handful of pumpkin seeds,
and a spoonful of raw sugar, caramelized on top.
easy, if you're paying attention to the very hot pan
you're melting and frying and sizzlin' it all in.
uh-huh.
i was, and they were great, and with the pickled jalapenos on top?
you can't even feel the ferocity of a superstuffed diaperload of dopeness like this
unless you're squeezing lime on top and feeling how flippin' heavy it is.
that's no joke.
they had weight on 'em, b.
*
fire roasted tomato salsa.
*ahem*
FIRE-ROASTED TOMATO SALSA.
y'heard?
that's that good-good that gets it going harder and harder, holmes.
i make it basically the same always,
with minor adjustments for ingredients as they're available.
one large-and-in-charge can of crushed muir glen fire roasty jauns-
half a red onion;
one whole stripey variegated bell pepper;
one jalapeno;
one habanero;
three loves of fresh garlic;
1/2 bunch of fresh cilantro;
a spoonful of cumin;
a smaller spoonful of crushed coriander seed;
freshly cracked pink salt AND black pepper;
a manly shake of GPOP;
lots of lime;
and a pulsing powerspin in your trusty and necessary food processor-
WORD UP.
...all the best things on a taco are represented here.
that's how you do it when there's no time limits
and the only pressure you feel is to capture the fading evening light.
uh-huh.
i doo-doo that, and i did it SO hard i was beached and bloated,
but also so filled and fulfilled and full of food and happiness.
yum.
i'll take a shark-glutton gorgefest where i can find one, friends.
and i located the fountainhead of flour tortillas and tapped in to the spring.
yeah!
***********
FOOD IS MY FRIEND.
if it is not your friend, then truly it is an enemy to be feared.
y'feel me?
anybody can have a cursory craptacular relationship with things to eat,
and no knowledge of ingredients or technique-
only,
of all the things that you HAVE to do, this is the one that has
the most opportunities for excellence.
sure,
we all dwell on the minutiae of the mundane-
car parts and clothes labels and sports stats or whatever-
but those are choices that don't actually matter at all to our survival-
we HAVE to eat.
or we die.
and i choose to LIVE like a king, and EAT like a king,
and sure, maybe my sovereignty isn't going to reach into empire status,
but within the hallowed halls and walls of my small woodsly goodsly mountainous world,
i have a hell of a lovely life.
i'm grateful for the time i've been given,
and i'm sorta psyched that a taco or two or three (or more) \
can upgrade my whole weekend into something awesome.
like, i'm STILL thinking about friday tacos, guys.
they were that good.
the things i need to stay alive are also the things i love about life.
how lucky is that?
it's all really happening,
and i'm feeling like maybe i'm onto something here;
never quiet, never soft.....
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