yup.
that's what i'm about.
hmm?
man, y'better get your mind out of the toiletbowl-
black-bottoms are secret chocolate-laced treats.
c'mon.
don't be weird.
black-bottomed blueberry is one of my top three, for sure;
and it's also the thing i made most recently, too.
mmhmm.
maine bloobs, dark chocolate, vanilla bean biys,
and some extremely decorative pastry crustiness-
that's right.
if ever you were wondering what expert looks like,
this is it:
RIGHT?!?!
i mean, really, i'd eat all of that.
actually, i pretty much did.
dudes, it was flaky and buttery and sweet-
when it was warm, it was juicy, as well.
of course, i'm a little bit experienced at making the nicey-nice,
so i preemptively tossed all the fruit with some thickener,
so it wouldn't moosh and smoosh through the dough.
yeah!
i don't want a bummer, i want a triumph.
that's my preferential treatment for tarts and treats.
word up.
-
y'want the particulars?
ok-
it's like this:
-
*
PASTRY!
-
in your excellently equipped food processor, combine:
2 1/4 cups a.p.flour;
3 T sugar;
10 T vegan butter'
4 T vegan creamchee';
2 tsp vanilla;
3-4 T non-dairy milk, added 1 at a time-
pulse the mixture together, with the s'milk
a little at a time, until it sticks in little bits when pressed-
wrap the resultant slightly crumbly dough in plastic wrap,
and refrigerate it for a least an hour.
roll it out on a well-floured surface, and cut it into all the shapes you'd like-
-
i had mine in a preheated 460℉ bread-bake temperature oven.
that's tight, because on a parchment paper-lined tray,
it won't stick but it will get golden as heck.
and that's tight, kids.
it's good for you.
-
*
i had bloobs, a cup and a half's worth of frozen maine mini wild jauns...
with 2 T non-GMO cornstarch,
and 3 T powdered sugar,
all rolled around in a bowl to coat 'em up,
with just a pinch of vanilla bean paste-
and then, a handful and a half of mini dark chocolate chips, too.
mmhmm.
that's the move.
i dropped those onto a circle of pastry dough about 12" in diameter,
but not before i spread a quarter cup of melted, slightly stiffened dark chocolate chip paste
all over the bottom, to about 2 " from every edge.
YEAH!!
honest to goodness, y'just take chocolate chips, and put 'em in a pot,
and then let 'em melt over low heat until they're a smooth buttery when stirred.
it's easier than most things, and it tastes great,
and it kept the bottom of the tart from turning to sh!t
when the excess juice from those bloobs was more powerful
than the starch and sugar could absorb.
so there's that.
-
and you know something else?
i have a personal rule:
stay ugly (eat beautiful), stay dope.
that's the sequence.
and i did it, with those braids and leaves and pretty pretties
all poppin' off across the surface of the thing.
y'know?
that's real.
and with a face like mine, you need all the being dope and eating beautiful you can get,
since staying ugly is happening regardless.
ha.
i'm a pretty prince of pastry though, and i'll cyrano my supper to show the inner beauty
that creates these outer rings of braided golden greatness.
awww.
-
it baked for about twenty minutes at that 460℉ mark,
and it was just right fresh from the oven.
naturally i let it cool, man.
c'mon.
i'm not trying to scour my palate with liquid berry lava.
but, once it was set up and firm, warm, but not wet?
i ate a third of it like it was nothin'....
too much is the right amount,
and that goes double for super-tasty fruit and chocolate team-ups.
believe it;
never quiet, never soft.....
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