yeah, dudes.
i'm on it.
i haven't had a bagel in a little minute,
so i figured the best way to remedy that was to make some for myself.
and that's exactly what happened.
since the boily water thing that i do for the pretzels works so well,
i went ahead and applied the same idea to the bagel scene, too.
now,
i wanted some fully loaded superseeded salty sexxxy circles,
but i did NOT want to stink my face off with onions and garlic,
so,
i went all out on the up-top sprankles,
but not before i went hard on the interior flour blend as well.
neighbors, you know the story already:
too much is the right amount,
and while they're not *technically* everything bagels,
they've got MORE than your usual jauns ever do.
check the teleport:
HOMEMADE TASTES BETTER!!!
daaaaaaaamn.
how expert do these even be lookin', man?
i'm sayin'.
that's the right way to make the magic happen.
you want the recipe?
you are welcome to it-
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*
FANCY BAGELS!
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preheat your oven to 420℉, convection style.
-
prepare a pot of water, for boiling, with 1 T baking soda/ 2 cups water.
-
mix 2 tsp bread machine yeast with 1 T sugar in 1/4 cup warm water,
and allow it to bloom for five or so minutes.
set that aside,
and in the metal mixing bowl affixed under your upright stand mixer,
with the dough hook ready to go,
combine:
2 2/3 cups flour;
1 1/2 tsp sea salt;
1/2 tsp bread machine yeast;
1/4 cup wheat bran;
3 T quick oats;
1/3 cup dark rye flour.
on low speed, get that going, and add the yeasty sugar-water,
and 3/4 cup MORE warm water, plus 1-2 T exxxtra if necessary
to make a sticky, soft dough ball.
beat it up for 11 minutes, and moisten the exterior of your dough lump.
cover it and let it rise until doubled.
punch it down, hard, and stretch it out into a thick uniform cylinder.
divide the dough in half, then half again, then slice each quarter into thirds.
you want even chunks, which you can weigh or measure or do whatever
to make sure they're pretty damned close.
i eyeballed it.
that's all i ever do.
i rolled each one into a ball,
and poked my finger through the centers and twirled 'em around to make those rings.
i let 'em rise another two or three minutes,
then boiled 'em up in that wild water bath for a full minute on each side.
bagel skins are the key to making bagels that are worth a sh!t.
i learned that decades ago at one of my many many many jobs prior to tattooing.
mmhmmm.
i pulled the out of the soak with my spider, and set 'em on parchment on a pair of trays,
and liberally doused them with my custom expert sprankle blend.
yeah!!
next time? i'm gonna dunk 'em on BOTH sides, and really overload the seed situation.
but this time, i used restraint.
take one is always traditional.
take two is where we get freaky-diki, boy.
rules is rules.
what's the blend, btw?
oh.
it's like this:
sesame seeds.
black sesame seeds.
poppy seeds.
caraway seeds.
dill seeds.
coarse sea salt.
that's sorcery, son.
f'really really-real, all those tasty little bits and bobs are what makes these so great.
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y'gotta bake 'em, tho, don't forget...20ish minutes or so,
or right up until they look golden and shiny and sexxxy as hell.
i switched the racks from top and bottom
and rotated those trays 180° at 11 minutes, anyway.
that's the move.
buttered, creamchee'd, as is,
or even better, with a skin-searingly scalding-hot americano, maybe?
our buddy dylan came to AMPERSAND TATTOO,
and we did just that.
.....delicious.
***********
i'm never bummed out to be at work.
that's for real.
and even though yesterday was kind of a snow day,
it didn't feel like ANYthing was gonna happen.
and that was the truth.
sometimes, there needs to be a little baby minute to rearrange and repair yourself
and your stuff.
i'll take whatever i can,
and i'll give nothing in return.
it's pirate time at the tattshack, i guess, and it's all leading to a great big X,
and then from there it's just a step further, to XI.
HA!
never quiet, never soft.....
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