Sunday, February 10

B+!!

big B plus!!
yes.
that's back to back breakfast attack stacks, jack.
mmhmmmm.
i doo-doo that overdo-it-to-it-type freaky sh!t.
day two: waffles!
yeah!
now, i wanna say something right away:
too much is the right amount.
and that is why i have three different waffle makers!
yup.
and i went and squared up to these jauns with that right-angled iron activation.
check the teleport:

WOOOOOOOOOOORD!
what?
oh, well, yeah, that IS raspberry-blueberry compote on top.
AND real new hampshire maple syrup,
AND powdered sugary sprankles.
how else would i even get so fresh on a saturday morning, right?
right!
-
the compote is a snap:
1 cup of frozen raspberries;
1/2 cup frozen little wild bloobs;
1/4 tsp lemon zest;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
3 T powdered sugar;
1 T non-GMO organic cornstarch.
that all goes in a pot, and melts and thickens and generally be's awesome.
there you have it.
fruit fever is in full effect.
-
the waffles were pretty expert, too...
-
*
WAFFS!
-
in a medium mixin' bowl, combine:
1 cup flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
1/4 cup oat flour;
3 T fresh-ground unsweetened coconut flake;
2 T sugar;
1 T brown sugar;
1 tsp ea baking powder and soda;
2 T vegan sour cream;
3 T melted vegan butter;
2 T unsweetened plain coconut yogurt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
stir it up, let it rest, heat up your waffle iron in the meantime,
and make alllll the waffles.
i got seven from this batch, and i ate them all like a greedy wild boar.
i don't even care a little teeny tiny itty bitty baby bit, either.
i want all the waffles, covered in all the stuffs,
and i'm gonna do that whenever i wanna.
that's no joke.
*
the potatoes were perfect.
they always are.
soft inside, crispy outside, oven roasted and pan fried with sweet onion,
and seasoned like a superstar with pink salt, black pepper, GPOP, and smoky paprika.
the art of homefried potatoes is all nuance.
y'gotta get the oven right, and be careful not to over-oil the spuds, too.
a little lube is good, and a lotta heat is nice, but there's a line between golden greatness
and brown bummers.
be wary.
and you'll need onions and vegan butter in a hot pan to finish 'em off,
so that they're coated and crisp, and all that herby flavorification completely adheres
to the exteriors, and turns those already excellent hunks of hottness up to eleven.
neighbors,
a good skin-on homeboyfry-up will definitely improve your whole life.
i mean it.
my whole day was megacharged with power from those potatoes.
that's a thing.
the scallion sprankles helped, i think.
obvi.
*
homemade tempeh bacon is a great way to make sure you're having a good time.
....and i always have a good time in the kitchen, kids-
the good news for all of us is that it's not too hard to do:
in a smaller pan, i arranged about nine 1/4"-thick strips of three grain tempeh
over a little glug of olive oil,
and added a tablespoon of tamari, a tablespoon of agave,
a dash and a half of liquid smoke, and a quarter cup of warm water,
plus a heavy shake of Garlic Powder and Onion Powder, smoked paprika,
and a lotta black pepper, over high heat, to absorb all the liquid and soak it up,
and then finally caramelize the sugars and make those slabs into some succulent sexxxiness.
that's what i do, duders.
expert everything all the damned time.
that's how it goes, bros.
*
and of course, a half an AVO-F*ING-CADO.
mmmmhmmmm.
cracked black pepper and cilantro and happiness for my whole head and my heart.
that's how you make breakfast dope again, guys.
***********
it's sunday.
what am i gonna do about it?
probably go to the grocery store.
maybe think about a third day of big B.
definitely going to do a lotta tattooing at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
after all, rules is rules.
and in keeping with that:
i DID eat pizza yesterday at work.
it was national pizza day, or so i heard.
it's still windy, it's very cold, it's almost valentine's day,
and i'm wishing i had some fancy chocolates to call my own.
maybe every day IS like sunday-
and not because it's easy like the morning, either;
never quiet, never soft.....

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