POTATO PIZZA!

mashed mutha-'ucking potatoes on top of a thick-A* pizza??!
dudes,
apparently, there's a pizza with mashies on top at BAR in new haven.
this ain't that, but it is derivative.
i heard about it, so i took the reference and made it expert af.
look:

C'MON!
deep dish-style hottness for your face.
that's three red skin-on potatoes,
mashed with a tablespoon of vegan butter,
and a tablespoon of olive oil,
and a tablespoon of water (because i only had coconut milk),
and GPOP and nootch and pink salt and black pepper...
plus a little thyme and rosemary to keep 'em so sexxxy with that herb-activation.
how good are they?
tooooooo gooooooooood.
i mean it.
there's daiya mozzarella SHREDDED on that dough, over a spoonful of olive oil.
rules is rules.
and if you don't mince it?
F-.
-
steamed broccoli and caramelized red onion bits
AND homemade sweet smoky spicy tempeh bacon for the maxxximum
dopeness and deliciousness all at the same time.
hmmm?
tempeh bacon is really damned good-
that's half a block of sliced and diced tempeh,
with olive oil and GPOP and black pepper and smoked hot paprika,
and agave and liquid smoke and tamari and half a cup of warm water,
heated up and caramelized and that's just some incredible stuff to eat by itself
or especially on a pizza...
did i add scallion sprankles?
of COURSE I DID.
too much is the right amount....duh.
and the dough?
it's elite.
-
*
DOUGHSKI!
-
preheat the oven to 480℉
-
in your trusty, dusty, hook-affixed stand-up mixer, combine:
1 pkg fast actin' yeast;
1 1/2 tsp sea salt;
2 T olive oil;
1 1/2 cups king arthur flour;
2/3 cups warm water;
1/2 tsp wheat gluten.
that's the stuff.
beat it up for 11 minutes, and it'll be shiny and tight and wet and perfect-
let it rise thirty minutes or so,
then stretch it out across a greased 9" x 11" brownie-style pan.
y'gotta bake it a little longer than a thin crust, of course-
but i had that convection circulation whipping around,
and it was HOT as heck in there, giving a tasty crust to that dough.
mmmmmmmmmhmmmm.
man, that's what i needed.
what a triumph.
-
guys,
f'real though-
this is the TRUTH.
like, the effing future just got here, and there's no going back now.
a thick crust deep dish mashed potato jaun is exxxactly how much hottness you need.
make one.
eat the whole thing.
feel better about life.
it's a thing;
never quiet, never soft.....