SHAWARMA!

...and just like *that*,
i'm on that new-new dinnertime creation sorcery.
uh-huh.
i didn't feel like cooking.
not one bit.
but, then, something awesome happened-
the spirits of the pan-fried yeast-risen dough possessed me,
and i had to make something with that ill naa-naan bread, y'feel me?
f'real.
big fat fluffy buttery flaps of wrappable soft floury magic,
straight outta my memory banks, directly onto a plate for a big ol' batch of
hottness that hadn't ever been made by me before-
mmmhmmmmm.
you know about shawarma?
donner?
kefta?
well, look it up, neighbors.
and then recognize how tiiiiiiight these veggie bombs really are:

VEGAN WIZARD DINNER CREATION!
yup.
i did it.
i'm psyched about it.
no, but, for real, though.
look:

C'MON!
fresh veg, awesome sauce, potatoes and tomatoes out of the oven,
hummus, and veggie balls of the meatiest magic i've had in some time.
you want all the recipes?
i'll happily share:
-
*
NAAN!
-
combine 1 3/4 cups king arthur flour;
1 tsp sea salt;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1 tsp sugar;
2 T olive oil;
3 T unsweetened coconut yogurt;
2/3 cup warm water;
1 tsp wheat gluten.
knead it, preferably in your stand mixer with a dough hook attached, for 11 minutes.
let it rise for thirty minutes, divide it into 4 balls;
roll 'em out into circles on a floured work surface;
now heat up a large and in charge skillet on high heat until it's haaaaaaaaht as hell.
with a lil pat of vegan butter greasin' it up, add those naan one at a time and let it puff up
for like a minute per side or so.
they're soft and supple and pliably reliable for wrappin' up sandwiches.
basically they're totally expert, and that's no joke.
-
those potatoes?
well, man, they're oven roasted at 450℉.
that's three potatoes, fat french fry sliced, tossed in a bowl with:
GPOP, cumin, coriander, smoked paprika, coriander, black pepper,
pink salt, turmeric, guajillo and cayenne pepper, and a tablespoon of olive oil.
laid out on a parchment-lined tray and baked until they golden and crisp.
once you have potato magic on the sandwiches?
y'can't really go back to feeling as good without 'em.
-
i halved up a cup and a half of my favorite sweet baby grape tomatoes,
and tossed them around in the leftover spices in the same bowl,
and roasted them the same as the potatoes.
that roasty flavor is incredible.
like, why haven't i always been doing that?
on the ones, something as simple as changing the technique on a vegetable
can be a total game-changer at dinnertime
-
the sauce?
man, it's basically tzatziki, y'know?
-
*
TZATZ!
-
mix together:
1/2 cup unsweetened plain coconut yogurt;
1/4 tsp dried dill;
1/4 tsp dried parsley;
two shakes of black pepper and cayenne and sumac;
2 T finely minced cucumber;
1 T lemon juice.
you could add a clove of crushed fresh garlic to make it marginally more authentic.
i'd be fine with that even though i skipped it.
dudes, it's F*ing awesome though.
like, literally awesome sauce.
you want it on your naan. you want it on your fries.
you just want it.
it's dope.
-
i laid out a shmear of hummus, and shredded purple carrots,
and shredded purple cabbage, AND shredded purple onion.
i dropped a handful of mixed salad greens and a few pea shoots over the tops, too.
the colors make me wanna eat more of all of it.
and then or course, there's the meaty, magical, manly kebab nuggets.
guys, that's where the real hot fire came into play-
-
*
SHAWARMA BALLS!
-
in a pan, with olive oil, on high heat, saute:
1/2 block minced tempeh;
1/4 cup sliced sweet onion;
1 large clove crushed garlic;
as the onion gets clear, add:
1 tsp thyme;
1 tsp sage;
1/2 tsp black pepper;
1/2 tsp trader joes umami mushroom powder;
1 tsp ea Garlic Powder Onion Powder.
stir it all together,
and add in:
2/3 cup vegan broth;
1 T tamari;
1 T lemon juice;
2 shakes of liquid smoke;
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes.
simmer that until it's thickened and softened and soaked full of the flavors-
in a mixing bowl, sift together:
1/3 cup chick pea flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
3 T fresh minced parsley;
2 T scallion greens;
1 T wheat gluten-
add the tempeh to the flours, and mash it all well-
add extra chick pea flour if it's too sticky, and form up about twenty small balls of
bean-based burly mediterranean meatball masterpieces-
i fried and flattened mine in coconut oil, and got 'em all toasty on both sides.
......y'all ain't ready for this much hottness.
you could just get take-away food,
but it wont have the same level of expertism as all of this.
all told, this whole meal took about an hour to make.
that's not that wild, considering i had nothing panned when i started.
*
today is the last day of spring.
it's gonna rain.
that's appropriate.
are y'all ready for summer?
for big fun and sunshine and hot weather?
we're getting ourselves all braced for tourists and traffic
and every restaurant being totally clogged up,
and all the sights becoming unsightly for all the lookers out there.
yeah.
the woodsly goodness is beautiful, and it draws all the people in.
if they aren't getting tattoos, though?
they can get lost and i'd be fine with that.
f'real.
i need a day to just do all the things,
but i don't know where or when that'll be.
i get up early, that's true, but by the time i get going,
that window is closed.
there's more to every day than what i'm getting accomplished,
and i doubt making a suckier meal is the secret to unlocking a substantially better time.
i want to find some time, and take it, too.
that's the next expedition i'm setting out on;
never quiet, never soft.....