PEE PEE BOI!

PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!!!!!
if you ain't about that pizza life,
you ain't even livin' s'far as i'm concerned, son.
real talk.
i don't do enough of almost anything anymore,
but i always make time to make pizza.
word up.
check the teleport:

YOOOOO!!!!!!
pizza is what's good, even when nothing else is.
that's no joke.
and this bad boi?
dammmmn, duders.
i won't even play-
this one was a valhalla-caliber victory.
shredded spinach on the bottom,
minced daiya mozzarella chee' AND minced-up cashew chee' shreds.
that's how i do it.
MORE stuff means MORE awesomeness,
and a two chee' pizza is a good thing.
caramelized red onions, for added color-
fried garlic slivers, because rules is rules,
and that gratuitous sprankle scene is what's poppin' up here.
now,
did i reserve the hot garlic oil to blister all those whole burst baby grape tomatoes?
yes i did.
and how did that go?
maaan, it was totally expert, obvi.
big flavor, big texture, big everything in little tomato format.
-
i did a lil somethin' to the sauce, too-
yup.
right into half a cup of crushed tomatoes i added:
a dash of both Garlic Powder and Onion Powder,
black pepper, crushed red pepper, fire roasted tomato flakes,
a splash of balsamic vinegar,
and a punch of my new coarse pimento sprankles.
WORD, bruh.
it took the sauce off the normal spectrum, and turned it up to eleven.
-
but how about that crust?
i mean, it takes time to get it poppin' like that.
-
*
PIZZA DOUGH!
-
i autolyzed 2 cups king arthur bread flour,
with 1 cup warm water for an hour in my upright stand mixer,
with the spiral hook attached for strogarm mixin' always-
to that soaked flour, i then added in 1 pkg active yeast;
1/2 tsp sugar;
2 T olive oil;
1 tsp bread machine yeast;
2 tsp sea salt....
i beat it up for 11 minutes to form a shiny ball,
let it rise covered on the counter until it doubled,
punched it down, covered it again, and let it proof in the fridge for 10 hours.
then, i stretched it, and let it rise on the oiled steel
while my beat-up oven heated itself to 480 luscious degrees.
that's all.
-
pizza is the one thing that always cheers me up.
unlike some of my other recent meals, which have made me SO sad...
mostly due the underphotogenic nature of nighttime and poor lighting
and my obsolete camera.
it all tastes better than it looks.
but, then again, as far as you know, i'm making that up.
not pizza, tho.
that's always the best.
nothing else comes close, nothing else compares.
if it isn't pizza, it isn't gonna do the trick.
that's just the way it is.
my oven makes it harder.
my cold house makes it harder.
the terrible light inside and outside makes it harder.
my old bones don't help.
my beggary bad boi, crabtree is perpetually underfoot and in the way...
but once that sexxxy circle is out of the hot box?
everything is excellent until i'm finished eating.
i'll take a win wherever i find it, man;
never quiet, never soft.....