complicate it.

keep it simple?
stoooopid.
i like it when there are more fancy pants flavors than my face can handle.
like,
when i'm up early,
using my tart press barbell to blow out not one batch,
but two,
of the cutest little bitty creamchee' puff pastry cups.
that's right.
a double dose of dopeness,
which, with the frequency that i overdo it all,
should probably be considered a single doe, by now.
yikes!
anyway,
forty-eight mini-muffin-sized scoops of dough,
flaky, buttery best-case bases for some new stuff ive been thinkin' on.
yeah, neighbors.
i wanted somthing less cakey, and more pastry,
and i did exactly what i set out to do.
hmmm?
no,
i'm not bragging.
this is real life, y'all
and i'm just relaying what happened when the kitchen got heated.
mmmhmm.
on the ones,
check the baby-bites-of-titanic-tightness-type teleport:

kaBOOOOOOOM!!
chocolate cream pie filling,
sorta puddingish, but packed epic density,
and so much richness, not to mention protein.
it's got that nutrient-packed power, kids.
heck,
a scoople of that, set up and chilled out, would've been enough.....
....if i was a F*ing A*hole.
and i'm not about to settle for enough.
(there's never enough, is there?)
so,
on top of those completely expert tartlets,
there's espresso frosting, expressly whipped to a firm,
and semi-gummy glossy glaze.
too soft and it wouldn't have the heavyweight credibility to hold it's own
against the richness of the crust and the custard.
balance is key here, kids.
now,
we got ourselves that sweet chocolate mousse mastery;
we got bites of the buttery base, crumbly but not brittle;
we got shots of that heavy-creamin' coffee frosting.....
we  just needed that little something to take it to eleven, didn't we?
yep.
i know.
i wonder if you guys understand how much of a F* i actually DO give about treats?
because i do,
like,
SO hard.
that's why i hand-dipped a hundred pretzel sticks in melted dark chocolate.
teleport:

recognize the effort,
because it makes up what matters in the end results...
salty, crunchy, chocolaty elitism, just to make each bite that much better?
yes.
rules is rules.
and the very first rule of treats?
too much is the right amount.
it's not like i'm busy sleeping,
and i DO love a fancy pretzel,
and i'm sure you do too.
overdoing it?
yep.
that's really just doing it correctly.
um,
i'm doing it correctly.
and there are plenty of 'em for you to share.
you could come visit,
but you won't.
that's fine with me,
because that means i get your share of the treats;
never quiet, never soft.....