five grains.

neighbors,
i learned about triticale today.
yeah.
it's what happens when you make rye and wheat fit together in a lab.
huh?
yeah.
real mutant hybrid jauns.
i guess scotland has a thing about tough-as-nails groats,
and they wanted a monster of a hearty hardy grain to grow in their sh!tty soil.
so,
they made one.
that's cool with me, because it looks exactly like every other rolled seed
from a grassy stalky sheaf of leafy bladerunning.
uh-huh.
what's better than oatmeal cookies?
five grain cookies.
and if one of those high-fivin' stage-divin' guys happens to be triticale?
so much the better, really.
and anyway,
i already had some worthy wheat, righteous rye, burly barley, outstanding oats,
terrific triticale, and fantastic flax, on hand.
our buddy bob, and his red mill have prepared a big ol' bag
of rolled-out ready-to-go goodness,
chock full of all of that-
and i bought some just for cookie time magic making.
.......wait.
that's six things, not five.
word.
too much is the right amount.
anyway,
i had myself a satchel of flat gristy (but not grisly) grains,
and i soaked it in soy yogurt, vanilla-style,
with even more added vanilla,
for as long as it took me to drive around on my day off and do a few errands.
yup.
that softened it up enough for use in cookie-baking greatness.
that's the truth.
check the teleport:

how about that Folk Lively rustic activation, y'all?
c'mon.
and with chocolate chips, too?
obviously.
i mean, if there are already gonna be all sorts of tasty things in 'em,
there may as well be some of that super-elite baby chip jauns, as well.
yup.
and then,
just to take 'em up a 'nother level...
y'know, like, to eleven,
there's a blarpity bloppity drop of homemade vegan fudge creme
pressed into the center of each.
yeah!!
i do cookies correctly, kids.
and i'm reppin' cookies every dang day until february.
i mean,
why wouldn't i bring the cookie game molto strong, and molto hard,
right up until the stupid bowl demands i doo-doo a iottle special somethin'.
(i mean, besides not watch it, of course),
yep.
cookies every day until sunday,
which also happens to be the rabbit-rabbit rapture of february first?
word up, kids-
and you all already know what happens, right?
what?
when what happens?
oh, MAN!
i'm sayin',
you must know what happens when the first day of the month
pops off on a sunday, don't you?
no?
jeez.
well,
you're in for a treat, then.
or at least,
i'm in for a treat.
and i'll tell you all about it as it happens.
in the meantime,
i've got tons of cookies,
and more on the way.
reppin' that triticale, and all the rest of it, like a flour power crunchy,
that's real.
vegetarian monsters for vegetarian monsters.
hybrid vigor is what we've got;
never quiet, never soft.....