THE BEST!!

whoah!
i combined two of my top three foods and made myself
a number one dinnertime experience.
now, does my oven no longer heat up in anything that resembles efficiency?
yes.
and do i get a little bit aggravated at the wait while the firebox takes FOREVER?
also, yes.
and, did i have low expectations of the last minute dough i kneaded up?
well, yes.
but was it flippin' amazing and invigorating?
F* YES.
neighbors, i've made it before, but i've never made it like this-
FALAFEL PIZZA!
a truly expert exxxplosion of enjoyable dopeness for my big dumb head.
FALAFEL? expert!
PIZZA? expert!
and what happens when you put 'em together? it's basically magic,
mystery, magnificence, and mastery.
check the mediterranean-supersexxxplosion-type teleport:

WOOOOOORRRRRRD!!!!
there are a LOT of elements involved in this production.
it's not a simple meal.
it's a superfancy, complicated, multi-tiered empire of awesomeness.
-
it all begins with good bread.
i mean, without it you don't have anything gong on.
so let's discuss that dough-
-
*
SOFTIE PIZZA DOUGH!
-
preheat your oven to 480℉
-
in your trusty upright stand mixer, with the dough hook attached, combine:
2 cups + 3 T king arthur flour;
2 tsp sea salt;
3 T olive oil;
1 tsp bread machine yeast;
1 pkg active dry yeast;
1 T two-tone toasted sesame seeds;
4 tsp dried shallots;
1 cup very warm water.
knead it all up on low power for seven or eight minutes.
and here's the thing- with we hands, give it a scrape, and ball it up by hand ,
then give it another 'nother five minutes of kneading.
yuuuup.
now you've got something good going on.
let it rise, and while i's doing it, let's make some falafel, dudes.
-
*
FALAFEL!
-
in your food processor, let's get it on-
1 drained 15 oz can of chick peas;
1/2 tsp cumin;
1/2 tsp ground coriander seed;
1/4 tsp sumac;
pink salt and lots of cracked black pepper;
2 T lemon juice;
3 T garbanzo bean flour;
1 T king arthur flour;
1 T chia/flaxmeal;
1/4 cup parsley;
1/4 cup cilantro;
1/4 of a red onion;
3 cloves peeled garlic;
2 T scallion greens;
a heavy shake of GPOP.
pulse it up until it's a coarse pulpy mash.
i mean, i LOVE it.
and if you're making 1" balls, you'll get a LOT of 'em.
fry 'em up in a shallow pan of hot vegetable oil.
you don't have to get 'em all the way browned all over-
they're going into a 480℉ oven after all.
loooooook at 'em, though:

C'MON.
-
now, let's discuss how we're assembling this bad boy.
i stretched the dough out on my favorite olive-oiled well-seasoned thin steel pan,
and i spread the surface with hummus.
yup.
hummus first. because that's the 'sauce', y'know?
how much did i use? i dunno. a healthy shmear, for sure.
then a half cup of shredded purple cabbage,
and a quarter of a red onion, slivered up.
i had a fat handful of quartered sweet baby grape tomatoes, so i tossed those on there.
and a big dose of chopped parsley.
fried garlic sprankles?
yes.
rules is rules.
and then alllllll the falafel, arranged up in a cute pattern,
and a bunch of pickled jalapenos dotted amongst those crispy balls.
i baked it up with a few turns until the puffed up crust was good'n golden.
with my A*-hole oven, i don't know how long it took,
but you know what a good lookin' crust is s'posed to look like,
so pull it out when it looks like that.
obvi.
and then there's still even MORE sh!t going on.
uh-huh.
too much is the right amount.
that's a thing.
so, what else is there?
well, on the post-bake side of things,
there's scallion greens, cilantro leaves,
pickles,
shredded pepperoncinis,
exxxtra-lemony tahini:
-
1 T tahini paste,
1 T lemon juice,
1 T warm water,
sumac, black pepper, and GPOP...
stirred and stirred and stirred into a thick consistent liquid.
-
drizzled all over the top.
and sumac sprankles for the WIN.
with exxxtra pepperoncinis and lemon wedges to turn it up even higher than eleven.
- my buddy dylan was here to experience it.
i'm glad for that.
it'd be a damned shame for another human being not to taste some of this epic hottness.
f'real.
*i* can say it's amazing, but it's better to have corroboration on those boasts, bro.
the only downside was only getting to eat half the pizza.
it's fine.
i don't need more pizza inside me.
whatever.
check it out one more time:

FALAFEL PIZZA IS THE BEST THING ABOUT TWO GREAT THINGS!!
i eat a lot of pizza.
i don't eat nearly as much falafel,
but i might have to start making this more regularly.
every F*ing flavor is elite.
every dang texture is a delight.
everything about this bad mofo is expert.
and that's no joke.
so that was MY sunday night.
we'll see how memorial monday goes;
never quiet, never soft.....