THIS IS FOUR

a lot of folks already know this-
but i have a terrible terrier.
that's a thing.
neighbors, if you've met him, then you know he's a wild barbarian battle beast,
an animal anvil,
a shark-bullet canine calamity,
a real-deal handsome and headstrong bull terrier.
he's my dude.
he's my friend.
he's my burden in a lot of ways.
he's also the only one who just needs to be fed in order to really like me.
he's half-deaf, he's all dumb,
and he's got acres of love to give,
and too many rough paws to punch me in the face with while i sleep.
here's the thing-
today is the day.
yeah.
that's right.
it's my dog's birthday.
mmhmm.
crabtree is FOUR.
like, right now.
check it:

FANTASTIC.
i'm not sayin' that he makes ANYthing easier,
but he makes my personal failures, failings, shortcomings,
and inevitable alienation of all the people i've ever known
seem just a teentsy tiny baby bit less of a damning damnation
on every day until my last one.
y'know?
no?
i'm just sayin',
he's not going anywhere,
and neither am i.

we're a couple of genuine DÜDI BOI SUMMER bums, bro.
...but does he actually love me?
F* if i know.
i mean, he's had years to get to know me,
and he sure does seem psyched to see me every day despite that.
maybe that's the best i get?
could be.

now, don't think i don't understand that he's no human being,
but he's a lot better than more than ninety percent of those i've ever met.
i can't argue with him about our feelings,
but maybe that's the secret?
we can't talk, really, so he doesn't hate what i say,
and therefore hate me for saying it....
he doesn't understand me, but i also don't expect him too.
what i'm saying is-
i'm grateful that we know each other,
and i'm glad he's my little buddy.
i made him a whole bunch of biscuits this morning, too.

right?
rules is rules.
oatmeal, coconut, sweet potato, rice flour, and cinnamon.
it's not your berfday if you don't get a treat.
i was up SO early.
wait, are you even up early if you didn't sleep,
or are you up so SOOO late?
i feel like total sh!t,
and the weather is lookin' like i feel,
but my lil milkman is ready for ACTION.
that's right.
crabby,
a.k.a. crimbo, a.k.a. young doodie, a.k.a. little brother, a.k.a. milky boi
is pumped to hang out in a thunderstorm,
but i'm just swimming eyeballs deep in a total sh!tstorm.
tight.
but ANYway happy birthday to my dude.
happy effing fourth birthday to my dog.
and here's to probably at least four or more after this one;
never quiet, never soft.....