i keep my sh!t crisp.

that's right.
i'm on that crisp tip.
uh-huh.
seven macintosh apples,
simmered with a pat of butter,
a punch of brown sugar,
a splash pf cinnamon,
a pinch of nutmeg,
a drizzle of maple syrup,
a dash of lemon juice,
a modicum of salt,
and a slurry of starch.
that's the only fillin' that fulfills my craving for apple magic.
yeah.
apple magic.
and i spellbound all the best things in there, too.
oatmeal cookie crust, three inches deep?
you know it.
crepe-y cakey oat flour batter, b!tchslap sap-seepin' into all the cracks on top?
ab-so-lutely.
granola, for your A*-hole-uh, crumpled and grumpin' like dutch dust on top?
don't be dumb.
of course that's the way to doo-doo that cobbler's mouth-waterin' tall-pie-style sh!t.
no, i mean it neighbors.
fine.
suit yourselves.
check the apples-are-for-the-wicked-witches'-most-hated-b!tches-type teleport:

wordimus prime,
that is pure Folk Life autumn hottness.
real talk.
but, i mean,
c'mon-
those deep dish jauns, though.
y'feel me on this?
i want a big ol' barbarian bucket of burly sugar and spice and everything nice.
anything else is not enough.
in fact,
a reasonable-sized pie pan presentation is insulting.
that's like saying i have a normal appetite for expert things,
and i deserve the same as any average individual.
well,
F* that, friends.
too much is the right amount,
and if i'm the one makin' 'em,
i'm overdoing it,
to eleven,
i respect the rules of berserker battle-beastly stormswept savage gypsy activation.
what?
oh,
well that is definitely a thing, don't you even worry about that.
i mean,
double topcoat crust baking?
the batter AND the crumble?
over the super-thick cookie-style bottom and sidewalls??
i don't have any interest in entry-level positions in my kitchen.
all expert, all the time, or else.
nothing is as good as good, bad is everything else.
for realsies,
how can i accept half-measures when i'm reppin' triple crisp?
yep.
the big action is right here in the woodsly goodness.
albier'ocktoberfest is all the way live, and underway.
you like it,
you love it,
i live it;
never quiet, never soft.....