dear brussels sprouts,
you are very cool looking-
-but,
i prefer to purchase you as individual cutesy little baby cabbage buds,
and not gremlins-style tumors on a stalk.
that is dumb.
and i am not dumb.
also,
i understand that white people don't know about farming,
so maybe they've never seen you without your makeup on;
and therefore, maybe the novelty of heritage gardening
and old timey organic earthy world cuisine crapola is super enticing.
however, i don't actually feel the need to pay extra for the privilege
of trimming you from the stem myself.
i read tom sawyer...
i'm wise to your canny tricks.
that is all.
xoxo,
love,
albie.
p.s. tom sawyer, by RUSH,
and all other songs from their voluminous nearly forty year career,
will NOT be playing whilst i prepare you.
ever.
no matter what.
that's no joke;
never quiet, never soft.....
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