matching fire-spitters.

hey man,
it's like, no fun at all to be worrying about shystie piles.
y'heard me?
that's the truth.
nobody likes a short stack of cheap gifts.
NObody.
and if you meet some mincey, minky liarmouths who deny that?
you know the type-
the ones who says they'd be happy with just a card?
just a card?
that's right up there with 'remember the reason for the season'
shuuuuuut up.
too much is the right amount,
and an onslaught of carefully selected, site-specific, seasonally appropriate
considerate, objectively expert objects cannot be objected to
by any  but the most basic bottom-rung weak-sauce waterbabies.
it's not about a lot of thoughtless crap.
it's ALL about paying attention to what's good,
and then wrapping up the biggest and most beautifullest.
normally that's NOT the case, but at XI-mas? it is.
however, regardless of the size or beauty,
as always the object is (still) MORE.
if you know a repeat bad gift-giver,
or an indifferent or reluctant observer of holidays?
yup.
that'd be the perfect opportunity to manifest some latent mutant x-factor jauns.
meting out a blast of tele/psycho/cryo/pyrokinetic devastation
is absolutely the apropriate response when dealing with that level
of missing the whole point of  a warrior poets' uncivilizational
all-american faith-free christmas.
family? feelings? peace? genuflection?
sweet baby jeezus on a berfday biscuit, b!tches......
a berserker barbarian battle beast cares not for any of that noise.
if you can't hang out with overdoing it,
and adding that hot fire and explosions to it,
then just stay home, and stay away from me and mine.
really.

don't misunderstand me, here, either, guys-
gratitude and generosity are in play here,
no doubt,
but don't play dumb about the true meaning of this woodsly goodsly
holiday merriment magic and time-spanning
it's a F*ing contest, neighbors.
don't you dare doubt that for even one second.
huh?
oh sure,
showering your peoples with presents is a semi-sh!tty way to say
'i love you MORE',
.....but it works.
and that means no shystie piles.
***********
ANYway,
going XI-mas shopping in the rain,
and spending stacks on beefin' up those stacks
works up a righteous appetite.
mmhmmm.
now,
i had some red chili and garlic paste,
and i had some red chilis and garlic and green chilis, too.
so,
with red onions, and celery and little mini carrots,
scallions, peas, broccoli, and potatoes,
braised with black pepper and g.p.o.p.
and then soaked in coconut milk.
and that coco-loco jauns?
it got spiced so nice with roasted cumin,
cilantro, coriander, basil, ginger, ground mustard,
and hot smoky paprika forever and ever,
with so much lime juice and zest for all that bite and heat and sweetness.
mmmmhmmmm.
a little bit of beige-hues pea-protein,
and a lot of coconut-jasmine rice, too?
guys,
check the teleport:

that's what's up.
i overate.
i had to.
even though it was terrorizing my tongue with hot hot hottness,
and that was certainly the harbinger of hotter holes to come.
yikes.
dinner for three, eaten by just one.
that is how it's done.
a long day of picking out perfect presents for my girls,
and a long night of burning holes in my guts.
it's all really happening.
that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....