THIRTEEN.

it's that time, kids.
yep.
berfday time.
you know what's up.
maple star, my little lady,
my darling daughter,
my genuinely sweet-hearted baby girl,
is a mutha-F*ing teenager.
yikes!!
like,
right now, she's thirteen years old..
today is the day,
and that's the truth.
i begin serving my term of obligatory family togetherness today,
and i'm gonna kick it off properly.
firs things first,
it's not a berfday if there's no treats.
that's a thing.
so,
since i LOVE cake, and i LOVE my kids,
and i want to share the sugary sentiments of celebration,
i'm bringing a fattie-boombattie stack of frosted freshness
down to the weak-sauce of the nutmeg state.
really real men bring their own vegan jauns with 'em.
ummmm, i think that's what happens, anyway.
well,
i mean,
it's what happens if you're serious about active participation,
and cognizant of the lack of interest and intention you're most likely
to encounter, if previous experiences in prior times are any indication
of the probable unfolding of events.
i.e.
if you want the best, and you are the best,
you'd better make the moves necessary to provide that expertism
to yourself and to your peoples.
otherwise, it's like you're looking for reasons to be disappointed.
anyway,
all that boils down to is that i made a cake,
and i made it extra-good.
thirteen is a big deal,
even without a bat mitzvah, or a bloodsport trial by combat, or whatever.
it's the passageway to adulthood.
phase one in growing up,
and a special day in every sense.
that's why the cake had to be even doper than usual...
check the heart-shaped teleport:

mmmmmmmmmmm.
mmhmm.
a white chocolate vegan banger,
lathered in vanilla buttery, creamy, lightly creamchee'd frosting,
and then taken to eleven in honor of that thirteenth-type sh!t,
with the legendary hottness of freeze-dried fresh strawberries,
powdered and whipped into a secondary, somewhat lemony-laced,
creamy other other 'nother style of frosty flavor.
yeah!!!
that's extra-good,
because it's for an extra-special teenie teenager.
what's that?
well, yeah.
those ARE wintry ice-style silver glitter sprankles.
c'mon.
don't think i'm not gonna do it right, neighbors.
i mean,
i've got great kids,
and i'm grateful for that,
and for the time i have been given to span and experience alongside them.
today is a big deal,
and it's going to be a good day.
old and busted is sort of my thing,
but getting older and wiser and better with age is what we're doing,
me and mine,
especially today.
happy berfday maple;
never quiet, never soft.....