BRRRRRRRRR

tuesday was a snow day.
and it snowed a bunch,
and all day long, and that was appropriate for december...
it was also a gingebread house day.
it was a homemade pizza day.
it was a nap day.
it was a teamwork day.
it was a good day.
and then yesterday,
there was a secret snow half-day.
yup.
like, it just started snowing from out of nowhere.
it was nice-ish out, until i looked behind me out the window
at AMPERSAND TATTOO at the surprise winter happening
just a few feet away.
and it snowed hard enough to warrant a weather warning for all the
wind and whiteout arctic berserker fury that was blasting the woodsly goodness.
f'real, my phone was warning me about what was happening
actually to me in real time on the roadway home.
hey, phone, i got it. i can see it. but thank you, phone.
-
it's way cold out.
it's crazy windy out.
it's pretty F*ing wintry, for not quite being winter just yet.
but it's close enough, for sure.
i'm feeling that heavy heaviness that comes from this time of year.
sure, the tree full of lights is great.
in fact, it's practically medicine for my weary brain.
but outside, even with a reflective blanket of stormswept white,
it's DARK almost all damned day.
and i'm over here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
wrapping presents that don't seem like enough,
and i'm waiting for post office deliveries to maybe boost those stacks.
i've got tattoos to do.
i'm thankful.
i've got the heat on.
i'm lucky.
i'm wearing extra socks.
i'm just a bigfoot sasquatch over here.
and i am thinking about all that's still left to be done.
mostly, this wind is ruining it.
it's very noisy.
it's very bitey.
and right now,
it's making the day worse.
***********
it's for the kids.
and as they get bigger, it changes.
but the sense of joy,
or the presence of presents,
or the perception of happiness,
or the wonder of the surprise of the thing is there.
...christmastime, for me, for the last twenty years, has been about giving gifts.
and giving good gifts, at that.
i want that association with the day, with the morning, with the big reveal,
with cinnamon buns or hot cocoa or whatever the eff.
i could literally never get a present ever, and be fine;
but i do feel better seeing kids be happy under the tree,
or next to the orderly pile,
or wherever,
finding out what they've gotten from santa for being nice instead of naughty.
i'm waiting on my lump of coal.
but then again,
on a day like today, at least that'd warm me up a little;
never quiet, never soft.....