'TATOES

so,
does food taste better if the fork says vegan on it?
yup.
potatoes, hot and crisp, out of a 460 degree oven already taste good.
now imagine you're using a vegan fork, bro.
uh-huh.
hahahha.
c'mon.
you like it:

THREE POTATOES,
because i don't even care.
too much is the right amount,
and more potatoes is supposedly the key to more joy in your life.
curry powder, cayenne pepper, black pepper, turmeric, smoked paprika,
Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, salt and olive oil...
tossed together for a big ol' late-december breakfast.
i'll take some solid gold skin-on homeboyfries anyday.
on the ones- i roasted them in a single layer on parchment
and once they were fully cooked,
i drizzled a little MORE olive oil on the top of 'em to sizzle and crisp 'em up.
that's how you get 'em right.
and when they're right?
that's when the whole day veers away from the teetering totter
of a razor's edge of epic failure and back onto solid ground.
...for a few hours at least.
and when you plate 'em with scallion and cilantro sprankles,
there's almost something that tastes like hope in your heart.
almost.

they really are pretty great, though.
they were so perfectly spiced and seasoned
that i didn't even need any smoky sriracha ketchup or nothin'.
potatoes and spices and that's it.
expert.
spuds so good,
even a couple of clients yesterday brought up how good they be lookin'.
and y'all can act like they don't be lookin'.....
but they BE LOOKIN'...
mmhmm.
that's a thing: my potatoes be lookin'.
and the folks who appreciate AMPERSAND TATTOO have noticed it.
but, like, for real-
nate's clients commented on the visual deliciousness.
i s'pose that's kind of the reason to take the picture in the first place.
they can't have any, though.
my plates aren't for just anybody.
and of course the one person i'd love to impress probably didn't get a glimpse at all.
ah.
that's how it is, man.
because you know i had somebody in mind when i made 'em,
and i was using that Xmas-gifty fork from her while i ate 'em.
that jabby-jammer does make them taste better, btw.
because there's love in each tine, and fittingly,
they're sharp and stabby just like us.
awww.
*
now if only i could figure out how to be so F*ing adept at anything else.
2020 is coming in hot,
and i'm still tattooing like i'm living in 1999.
sure, i can cook my A* off;
but where's the next-level mastery of interpersonal relations?
i need a SAGA.
some lightning-striking viking sh!t.
or something like that,
preferably with a side of potatoes and this sentimental stabber, too;
never quiet, never soft.....