it continues.

what?!
a SNOW DAY??!!
yuuuuup.
neighbors,
you know what that means-
ANYthing could happen.
and i'm ready for whatever winter-wonderful chaos
that comes tumbling down along with these flakes.
that's real.
i love snow days.
hard.
and i love how beautiful they make everything for a little bit,
and how they make everything so much quieter,
and how they make fires warmer,
and lights brighter,
and sandwiches more delicious....
wait.
what?
oh, riiiiight.
it's still sandwich week.
...and that means we keep on being super-turbo expert.
last night?
word up, kids-
 we brought it back to eleven, for sure.
off the charts with flavor and fun and fanciness an' that.
check the fat-stacks-type-teleport:

pretzel bread,
toasted on the insides,
a smear of hummus,
a spray of sprouts,
boston bib lettuce (the only good thing about boston),
thinly sliced tomatoes,
fried crunchy french onions,
and a big ol' honkin' homemade chick-pea bean burger.
heck yes, friends.
garbanzo flour, and garbanzo beans, sauteed shallots,
parsley, oat flour, olive oil, three itty-bitty baby mashed potatoes,
flax seeds, apple-smoked sea salt, bragg's, sage, thyme, and black peps?
duders,
those fattie boombattie patties brought five kinds of thunder.
yum4tum?
don't be dumb.
the magic happened in our mouths,
and that wasn't even the only time it got conjured, either.
check the four-hours-earlier teleport:

c'mon.
one half of a vegan pizza,
rolled up like a coil of calamity,
and burrito-blasted down the hatch.
me and my homeboy beau know how to get busy, b!tches.
jealous?
i know.
feel free to style-bite my pizza roll,
it's expert, and it's delicious.
real talk.
***********
cookies?
yeah.
i made, and then forgot to mention,
these tiny little rich and tasty wizard discs.
teleport:

almond flour and coconut flour and oatmeal flour and so much butterish,
almond paste and almond oil in the creme,
and almond extract in the icing,
oh,
and an actual real-life almond on top.
uh-huh.
if you ain't reppin' that much of what you're making,
then you ain't reppin' your sh!t to eleven.
expert recognize expert,
and that's means too much is still the starting point for worthy activation.
*
anything can happen.
be prepared;
never quiet, never soft.....

between the bread.

multigrain bread is overrated.
there.
i said it.
it's just a bunch of sh!tty seeds and crunchy bits
sitting in stasis inside some boring wheaty beat bits.
of course,
i didn't issue the final decree about it
until immediately after it let me down for the last time.
awwwww.
check the mostly-delicious-except-for-the-bread-type teleport:

big steaky slabs of mushrooms,
olive oily and salty and peppery.
expert.
watercress' sharp stinging leafy crunch.
expert.
radicchio slaw, with shredded carrots,
for the perfect blend of creamy and crisp.
expert.
sprouts for concentrated nutrient activation in each green pubey tube.
expert.
and cukes,
just because cukes are always expert.
...too bad that A*-batch of nubbly knobbly crap bread
tried to make it sweet in a bad way.
luckily,
the insides overcame the obstacle of the outsides, certainly.
but this sandwich was only about a nine, or so,
and didn't get up to the standard eleven i expect from my food.
damn.
dinner is sometimes a hard style.
i still ate both of them, anyway.
i'm not a weak little delicate diaperbaby, y'know...
besides,
shark-gluttony is still mandatory.
and rules IS rules after all, y'all.
***********
work.
wood.
fire.
dinner.
bed.
it's a cold weather routine and it's what's really happening.
there really should probably be a lot more XI-mas shopping, too-
but slow goings and long nights make for tough times,
and these presents sure aren't gonna pay for themselves.
it's cold and busted outside,
it's warm and inviting in here.
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress is where i need to be,
the woodsly goodness is where it stands,
and when all of it is all together?
it all unfolds according to plan;
never quiet, never soft.....

assorted odds and ends.

so,

it's pearl harbor day.

that's real.

sneaky attacks and undeclared majors, so to speak-

it's also a whole other other kind of pearly day, too, duders.

uh-huh.

today is the guru of supreme intelligence's berfday.

hmmmm?

the guru, y'know?

my dad?

yeah.

his three-hundred and eighty first tour around the sun.

today.

happy berfday, old man!

seriously,

this guy bridges the missing link between cuban and chain.

(that's a Wu-TANG reference, ma)

so he's a missing link mutha F*er?

oh, yes.

he doo-doo's that freaky sh!t.

he was part of the late hellacious period of evolution;

the middle polystyrene epoch;

the pre-curmudgeon/cambrian jauns.

what i mean is-

that dude is ancient wisdom personified.

that's no joke.

happy happy day-

without him,

there'd be no me,

so now you know who to direct your complaints towards.

word.

if you knew him,

you'd know we all need him-

and if you need him,

you know you're definitely afflicted with the bloodcurse

of worthy warrior werewolfen battle-beastly berserker fury.

that's a real thing.

it travels on DNA, neighbors

i mean, like,

my pops like to get F*ed up the same way.

infinite nature echoes outward in all of us.

happy berfday, mango. 

***********

c is for cookie, stoopid.

c'mon.

i make 'em,

because i'm all about that sh!t.

check the coconut-times-three-type teleport:

snowball circles?

yuuuuuup!

butter cookies with all the coconut for us to appreciate.

coconut flour, coconut oil, and rolled-on coconut magic.

putting the coconut to it is how i do it, kids.

snowy weather calls for snowy treats, right?

that's what we're all all about after all.

*

what about sandwich week?

is that still happening?

yeah.

it continues apace.

you should check the teleport:

nootch-and cashew-and g.p.o.p. crusted tofu,

a smear of vegenaise,

some peppers,

and soy-sauce sauteed arugala on that flatness?

expert.

crushed red spicy peps and black-style peps were also making

cameos to activate the hot hottness that heated up my mouthpiece.

there is always more of all of that business.

*

and that's what's new.

another year older,

another sandwich fuller,

a plate of cookies fatter.

it's all really happening-

that's the whole point;

never quiet, never soft.....

slow day.

a few cheap markers.
folded scraps of looseleaf papers.
no sketches.
no ideas.
just single pass skulls and flowers.
check the teleport:

awwwww, man.
regular tattoo picturemaker jauns.
i guess that happens now and again.
i suppose it could be a lot worse,
but,
i just actually like killed-up heads, and plants, an' that.
*
also,
i keep making making myself uglier,
and doper.
teleport:

i just can't help but F* with my whole face.
that's a thing.
i still do things besides cook foods and bake treats.
real-life documentarianism dictates
that if it's really happening, i probably gotta tell you all about it.
.......you're welcome.
*
i think there will probably be more of this.
fog and rain and cold are combined to keep away the clients.
lucky?
yes and no.
a grand don't come for free,
but a gaytard explosion isn't worth the cost;
never quiet, never soft.....

sandwich strong.

that's right!
sandwich week??
more like sandwich strong.
i'm just sayin', neighbors-
these homemade flatbread jauns?
with the cornmeal mixed in?
they're an awful lot like Wu-TANG.
y'know?
yeah.
...they're for the children.
of course,
since there aren't any kids around these days,
i'm not about to let 'em go to waste.
check the openface-type teleport:

oval strips of tempeh in that sizzling simmering sauce, suckas!
uh-huh.
brown action, with herbs and spices an' sh!t all over 'em.
and sesame-fried asparagus,
and sweet onions,
and skin-on cukes for the sake of the g-dang nutrients,
and the last aw-shoots from the peas, please.
plus some crushed red peppery flakes to take it to eleven?
yuuuuup.
friends,
i think i'm onto something here.
once the foldover gets activated,
and those two sides collide and unify,
it's a verifiably virtuoso viking victual victory inside my mouth.
that's a thing.
sandwich week has done it again.
duders,
we decide what we want to mean something.
we pick what matters.
sure,
it's just a weeklong feast of small breads with stuff in them,
but it's just the importance of the occasion for the ceremony.
it's ALL really happening,
so why shouldn't some of it be celebrated?
right?
yeah.
we rep what seems a strange style to some,
but we're all about it over here.
little things make big pictures full of tiny details.
that's the way it should be.
simple and easy concealing superfancy special effectiveness.
expertism doesn't accept short shrift or third shifts of weak sh!t-
believe it.
we do it live,
but we do it right....
you can go ahead and read some diapery baby bullcrap
straight out of your recipe book,
and we'll freestyle the loudest, freshest hardness instead.
it's just a sandwich,
but it's also the way we live our lives.
worthy warrior poetry, from meals to mettle-testing melee-
Folk Life & Liberty is what we want.
***********
y'know what, y'all?
it's raining.
a lot.
and that means early sleeps,
and pittered patters that put me out for the night.
mmhmmm.
i can't help it-
that steady splattering nonstop dripdrop lullabyes me
to n'night-land like nothing else.
i can't stand the rain, against my window,
bringing back sweet memories.
...unless i'm under ALL the covers.
then,
it can't get me,
and that makes me psyched enough to snooze forever.
wordimus prime,
i'm well rested and wide awake.
today is the day;
never quiet, never soft.....

gingerbread, man!

molasses!
that's that black-strapped syrup,
straight from the rummy gummy sap-slap
drips and dribbles of pure uncut sugarcane sauce.
...yeah!
it's so thick and sticky,
but,
once i heated it up, and mixed it with vanilla soymilk,
and added all kinds of spices and everything nices,
it made for the perfect dark brownified freshness for my face.
you can't have the cakey bread without that gooey 'lasses.
that's a thing.
no, really.
hey, neighbors,
why don'tcha just check the teleport:

kaBOOM!!
what's up with miniature loaves of demerara-dusted ginger-style bread??!
oh, y'know,
with all the ginger, and then some;
and all the cinnamon you'd expect;
and some of the nutmeg;
and enough cloves to make sure it has that kick-A* activation
and aromatic XI-mas magical scent wafting and floating throughout
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress like ethereal ghosts of holiday cheer.
if jacob marley had smelled like this,
he wouldn't have been able to scare a F*ing thing out of my man ebenezer.
word.
those raw sugar sprankles made sure it was even sweeter, too.
that's expert, huh?
yeah. i know.
i get busy a little itty-bitty teeny-weeny tiny baby bit.
huh?
no, i don't even want to.
but i have to.
it can't be avoided, actually.
i am compelled by the overwhelming infinite nature of my true self.
i'm a bakery barbarian;
a gastonomical glutton of gilded glutens;
a from-scratch fabricator of fancy unnecessaries.
duders,
i am what i am.
i guess that's the most i could really hope for?
tell you what-
i'll stop hoping,
and just keep the ovens hot.
this way,
What Is is all there is.
really real life unfolds in front of us, y'all.
and there are gonna be plenty of breadcrumb trails to lose
if i have anything to say about it;
never quiet, never soft.....

making it up as i go.

duders,
what's in red curry?
i honestly have no idea.
and while i could probably find with nearly no effort,
i'm definitely not gonna do that.
y'know why?
because i'm F*ing expert.
that's why.
c'mon.
besides,
i have lots of coconut milk, and that's dope-
especially when you skim the thickness off the top for specialty usage,
and i have garlic chili paste,
and sriracha,
and ginger,
and g.p.o.p., obvi,
and bragg's....that elite activated amino-acidic saucy soy sh!t...
so,
i mean,
if i also use a little bit of basil, and some starchy thickener?
that's the stuff, neighbors.
hmmm?
well, of course i'm skipping the festy fish paste.
what are you?
an A*-hole?
use your head............for once.
hahaha.
awwwww.
stop it, i'm only teasing....
check the eating-with-company-type teleport:

yuuuuuuuup.
crushed-up coconut and cornstarch and exxxtra-firm tofu,
fried up all golden toasted an' that,
with caramelized red onions, and sauteed red peppers,
and shredded carrots and baby spinach,
with a generous double smear of that custom red curry spread?
expert, like i said.
and by the way, kids,
the custom flatbread dough proofed overnight in the fridge,
and was even more mature and developed and tasty the next day.
real talk.
yes, actually-
i am trying to be a little fancier than usual.
sandwich week is NOT for half-steppin' half-measures.
after all,
too much is always the right amount.
***********
making food.
that's the thing that happens when it's time to make the magic happen.
i guess i'm just a wizard of kitchen spells?
i dunno.
i'm doing what i do,
and that's all there is to do.
i guess i doo-doo that freaky fresh-to-death sh!t.
expert recognize expert,
and that means if you aren't 'bout these sandwiches,
you ain't 'bout activation.
i take dinner to eleven,
with no side orders necessary;
never quiet, never soft.....

eating alone.

uhhhhhh,
just because i sit in a cold dark house most of the time
doesn't mean i have to eat sad crackers and be bummed out.
no,
i mean it.
no matter what else is cold and empty,
my mutha-'ucking bellyhole is gonna stay full and hot.
friends,
go ahead and check the teleport:

that's what i'm talkin' on, duders!
homemade flattie bread?
toasted and roasted and grilled and everything?
i wanted to keep it going.
huh?
oh.
i've been dominating sandwiches all week.
no joke.
i think it might even be sandwich week at
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
that's a thing.
but,
since that's probably the case,
i couldn't just leave that leavened circle bare, could i?!
no way, y'all.
that'd be weak sauce,
and that isn't ever invited, no matter how alone i may be....
so,
i took that pizza-type platter,
and i hit it up fully with fakeout beige bits,
and cukes,
and asparagus,
and pea shoots,
and caramelized red onions?
yuuuuuuuuuuuup.
there's no point on letting the dough rise,
if you aren't gonna roll it out and hook it up.
y'know?
yeah.
i know you know.
neighbors-
cornmeal and whole wheat flour and pinch of salt,
and just a splash of agave make for a breadly reward.
it was just precisely what i needed, too.
a great big thick thick slab of sandwich time,
for my face.
that's it;
never quiet, never soft.....

stay ugly, stay dope.

more of this?
oh.
okay.
check the stoopidhead-type teleport:

yeah, neighbors.
i just thought maybe you'd like to see exactly what takes up
my time during my mornings.
i only ever want to to do more of everything,
and that means that i just do this for now.
a viciously vile visage, improved upon?
i dunno.
i make this sh!t,
and i show it to y'all.
that's the best i've got;
never quiet, never soft..... 

back to the drawing board.

hey, neighbors.
so,
sometimes it's just not busy at the studio.
i mean,
sure,
i tattooed a fidgety sh!t-hot panic attacker today,
and that was great big balls of funtime, for sure-
but otherwise,
it was remarkably quiet at the tattbomb shop.
so,
i grabbed a handful of paper,
and a handful of those old busted markers,
and i made some practice times happen.
huh?
yeah.
i know.
more of that sort of thing has been long overdue.
anyway,
today was a flower day.
check the bouquet-type teleport:

yeah.
the warm tones, tho,
we all agree, are not to be invited back again.
what?
no i don't actually have a red set of marking sticks,
so we do what we do with what we've got, kids.
jeez.
everyone's a critic.
i feel like maybe i'm getting the hang of it, though.
teleport:

filling spaces with blooms and blossoms an' that.
yeah.
i dunno, duders-
drawing seems like the thing i'm supposed to be doing right now,
so i'm doo-dooing it.
we'll see what tomorrow brings, i guess.
***********
december.
yuck.
what a cold dark dismal time of year.
good thing there are so many XI-mas lights everywhere.
it helps out.
it really does.
an ocean of illumination,
a sea of stars,
a swarm of frost-friendly fireflies,
a light in the darkness.
i love the strands of sparkles, kids.
that's real.
there's no such thing as too many,
and there's no such thing as turning them on too soon.
they're shining,
and i'm smiling,
and that's the best i've got;
never quiet, never soft.....

RABBBBBBITRABBBBBBBIT

yes, neighbors,
it's that time of the month, again.
and just to F* with it so hard,
i'm headed southbound to the asscracko'chussetts,
to deliver my darling daughters back to the real world.
the woodsly goodness is diminished greatly in their absence.
hard styles and weak sauce are working together
just to try and mess up our day.
oh,
yeah.
of course.
it's the last day of a long holiday weekend,
so all the masshole tards will all also be headed home...
and there's the threat of wintry weather,
which immediately dismantles what little brain activity they've got,
and makes operating a motor vehicle a slow-motion exercise
in being the absolute worst thing in the world.
nice.
i'm certain the journey's roundtrip racing will be marred
in so many ways by traffic, snow, rain, traffic, state police, traffic,
and all a long drive's constituent A*-holery.
ugh.
*
saying goodbye too soon,
after visiting not enough and driving too long?
that's normally not ever invited,
but the responsibilities of mature adulthood dictate
that i'm doo-dooing one whole sh!t-salad day of all my least favorite things.
uh-huh.
i'm tattooing the instant i get back,
and i hope my road raging road warrior on-the-road spirit doesn't
make for too terrible a day for everyone else.
(actually, we all know i secretly hope i destroy this whole day)
wooooooooord.
don't worry, duders,
i remembered to spit out the magic words,
at the stroke of midnight,
and again when i woke up.
obviously,
i cultivate coincidental good fortune where i can find it,
and i find myself thinking maybe THIS month will finally be the one.
rabbit, rabbit.
yeah,
i said it.
i need to have it happen.
i know better, so i just wish harder, and work hardest,
and let the pieces of the puzzle fall into place.
they all fit somewhere,
and we're gonna watch the big picture reveal itself.
today is the day.
the first day of the last month.
that's kind of an important thing.
we've got thirty one days ahead of us
in which to activate the eleventh level of expertism,
and y'know what?
i think we're gonna.
*
and let's end it/start it on a high note.
check the teleport:

yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
cranberry-sauced brown sugary oatmeal panniecakes.
we know how to make the magic happen, friends.
i mean,
we ARE expert active participants after all.
today is the day.
the first day,
the last day,
the worst day,
and the best;
never quiet, never soft.....