valentine tiny details.

i make these things because i have to.
hearts and skulls and beards and swords and robots and claws.
everything expert all at once.
i'm on that valentine-type activation, for sure;
never quiet, never soft.....

coming home...

doesn't it figure?
y'know?
coming home extra late,
when there's surprise dinnertime waiting?
damn.
i seem to be running out of time,
all the time,
despite being up for so many hours,
and never not ding something....
lame.
but,
better late than never is definitely true
when there are spicy noodoos keeping warm
and awaiting activation inside my bellyhole.
that's so true.
neighbors,
i got that good thing going on over here.
check the homemade-just-for-me-type teleport:

yeah!!
everything good on one plate,
with perfectly prepared tofu,
and all sorts of greenery,
and noodoos made out of shiitake threads or somethin'.
i'm serious.
and it was delicious.
i am grateful for the times i span with the people
who actively participate in my days and nights.
i know i'm lucky to have what i've got,
and that's no joke-
homecookin'?
expert.
fireside chattin'?
expert.
staying warm, and being full,
and taking care?
all expert.
i'm not bragging, friends,
but i'm not fibbing either.
true stories, told truly,
about the good parts, and the cold parts,
of these here woodsly goodparts?
yeah.
that's how it all unfolds;
never quiet, never soft.....

more.

swords!
and daggers!!
neighbors,
it's seriously deliriously happening SO hard right now.
uh-huh...
tiny paper cutout blades on blades on blades.
i can't stop,
and what's more,
i won't stop.
check the mithral-and-adamantine-type teleport:

hahahahaha.
there's no such thing as enough, ever.
i mean,
y'all know the rules-
too much is the right amount.
anyway,
there's no sign of slowing down,
so i guess i'll keep going,
with scalpel-style x-acto blades,
and various finely-honed pointy markers,
and swords on swords on swords....
yeah-
i doo-doo that nerdy sh!t.
and i do it hard;
never quiet, never soft.....

buenos.

buenos rancheros?
yeah.
because huevos are F*ing gross.
for serious.
i'm on that scrambled TOFU jauns, tho,
like a hard-boiled warrior of kitchen witchcraft.
huh?
oh, yes, indeed, neighbors...
that's a thing.
check the teleport:

comida mas delicoso?
si.
i mean,
if it looks molto messy,
it's gotta be super good inside your mouth.
after all-
expert is as expert does,
so,
i had to bring a little activation to the dinner table.
super-firm sprouted tofu, kids.
that's the trick.
it's even better than extra firm,
with the crumbly hardness for your face,
and it's got that nutrient rich density, too...
scrambled with g.p.o.p. and salt and pepper and nootch,
and turmeric and paprika, to make sure it's flippin' tasty.
and that goes on top of a trio of pan-fried corn tortillas,
all butterishy, and browned a baby bit for a little crunchy crunch-
and what goes on top of THAT?
obviously, more stuff.
rules is rules, y'know?
pinto beans with onions and garlic and cilantro and jalapeno?
yuuuuuuup!
and homemade ranchero sauce for the victorious dinner celebration.
yeah.
ranchero is the big business over here.
diced tomatoes,
diced fire-roasted green chiles, half a jalapeno, diced;
natural twenties all day over here with all this dicing, y'heard?
(c'mon.)
garlic and more garlic, minced white onion, cilantro, parsley,
fresh oregano, smoked paprika, cayenne, cumin,
ground mustard, g.p.o.p., black peps, one tiny sweet red pepper,
and a splash of liquid smoke to make sure it has that campfire twang to it.
uh-huh.
i doo-doo that rancher's-style freaky sh!t.
no doubt.
and yeah,
i hit it up with a splashy flashy scallion and cilantro garnish.
obvi.
i'm not some weak-sauce waterbaby making terrible treats/
don't be dumb.
and anyway,
that's what's happening when i'm not drawing.
i'm making magic happen all up in my mouth.
yeah.
***********
it's back to being unseasonably barbaric in the arctic blasting
tundra thunderdome zone up here in the woodsly goodness.
it's so cold,
i don't even remember what warmth feels like,
and i've got an incredible memory.
sitting next to the blazing red-hot cast iron stove,
and half of me is still frozen?
that's dumb cold.
and that's indoors,
only half a body's width away from actual flames.
it's a hard style we rep up here these days,
but it's all that there is,
and it's all really happening;
never quiet, never soft.....

no, really, tho.

all-consuming?
distracting?
obsessive?
yes.
yes, and yes, and yes.
i've got things happening over here.
valentine-type things.
brutal berserker barbarian bobotic jauns
are all kinds of in effect at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
and that's no joke.
check the up-early-type teleport:

c'mon, neighbors.
this sort of thing makes it's own rules.
that's real.
hearts and skulls and orbs and swords?
yeah.
there's a whole lot of that,
and no time for much of anything else;
never quiet, never soft.....

nerding out.

neighbors,
i haven't disappeared,
i'm just nerding it up extra hard.
yeah.
check the dungeony-draconic-type teleport:

uh-huh.
swords and swords and swords and swords and swords.
it's all really happening.
art is eating up all my time;
never quiet, never soft.....

wasted days.

neighbors,
where does the time go?
i mean it.
last i check i was having dinner monday night,
and now, all of a sudden, just like that,
in a cold snap of time's lines,
it's thursday morning.
yikes.
i spanned two whole days getting snowed on,
and making art.
huh?
yeah.
making art.
that's a thing that happens.
hmmm?
no.
i used index cards, and markers, obviously.
i don't make fine art.
i keep it coarse.
one way or another,
if it ain't Folk Life folk art,
it's berserker barbarians,
and that's how it goes every single time.
there must be beards, there must be bobots,
there must be lightningh-striking vikings from the future.
yeah.
rules is rules, after all,
and i stick to what works.
*
but,
let's talk more about dinner monday.....
duders,
somebody made ME dinner.
i know.
it was so expert.
that hasn't happened in a good long while,
and i have to say that i really really liked it.
no jokes.
check the homemade-hottness-type teleport:

spaghetti squash!?!?!
yuuuuuuuuuup.
kids, it's not pasta, it's a vegetable.
c'mon.
that's rad.
with pan-seared and herb-crusted tofu steaks,
a blast of that nootch,
and homestyle, from-scratch, spicy arrabiata tomato sauce.
i'm serious.
was it good?
what are you?
an A*-hole?
of course it was good.
i also saw how someone with actual tidy habits cooks-
i'm just sayin'-
there was no mess!
too weird.
i destroy the whole spot when i make the simplest things.
i guess i'm just a destroyer,
and that's how i create?
i dunno.
what i do know for sure is-
i am grateful for the time i have been given,.
and for the overlapping circles that i travel among.
really.
***********
sooooo,
did you hear about the snow?
of course you did.
the east coast got F*ed up yesterday.
all day.
nonstop.
and y'know what?
it looks beautiful.
that long stretch of cold cold cold cold was making
all of the natural splendors of the northern mountains
look more like doodoo buttered brown skidmarks,
and less like incredible majestic natural woodsly goodness.
luckily,
ma nature saw fit to dump a monster-sized mat of do-over
winter refreshment all over everything.
there's an awful lot,
and it's a whole lotta awful-
but, visually, friends?
go ahead, check the teleport:

yeah.
it's perfect.
-
two days later,
and i'm up and at 'em.
i'll be shoveling sooner than later, too.
it's all really happening,
no getting away from it, either....
this is What Is;
never quiet,. never soft.....

fighting the cold.

i get chilly, kids.
i can't help it.
i'm skinny.
so the low temperature F*s with me more often than not.
huh?
oh, sure, i bundle up and hunker down
and do all sorts of heat-generating activities for sure.
but,
when i get a deep-down serious cold feeling,
regardless of what sort of sweater i'm wearing
whilst sitting right up next to the woodstove, even-
i need something extra-special to reactivate the hottness
that smolders against the frosty rime of hard styyles
surrounding every second of this miserable winter.
-
....and the thing of it is,
i usually really like winter.
weird.
whatever.
y'know what i always like,
with no mind paid to the rising of falling of the mercury?
.......yup.
that's right- it's treats!
i mean, getting little tatsy treats is good for you.
and if you can't hang out with vegan baked greats??
well....
that's exactly it- you can't hang out.
sorry, neighbors,
but weak sauce is not invited to the kitchen table.
fresh cakey coconutty brownies, however?
they're the guest of honor-
so they'll be there for sure.
check the breakfast-made-of-chocolate-type teleport:

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
vegan cream chee' goobieblops on top?
yeah.
half swirled and whorled into the batter,
a custom-blended smooth jauns,
cut into tapioca and egg-replacery whipped wetness,
with sugar and vanilla all stirred up in it,
all together, ready to get expert
all up in all y'all's mouths.
no, really, i'm serious.
chocolate chips and chocolate syrup glaze
and a generous splash of double chocolate hot cocoa mix
and all of it before nine a.m. because wasting time won't be tolerated.
there are moves to make and cakes to bake
and days to span and times to activate....
duders,
it's all really happening,
the rolling collection of convection confections from my hot oven;
the roaring fire in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress;
the shivering skin on my spindly arm and leg stalks;
every last bit of it is the long and short of really real life.
it's not the biggest nor the most beautiful,
but there's always more;
never quiet, never soft.....

eleven.

that's right,
woodchuck-chuckers,
it's GROUNDHOG DAY.
so,
i guess that means happy anniversary, to me.
that's right, neighbors-
punxsatawney phil may or may not see his shadow,
i'm fairly certain spring will still start on march the twentieth,
regardless....
and i'm just as sure that winter will keep blasting my A*
with frosty temperatures and icy snow mixtures for at least six weeks.
yeah,
i'm a regular expert at predictions.
anyway,
this is the big day,
and that means that i've been living up in the woodsly goodness,
hidden away in the white mountains of northern new hampshire,
for eleven F*ing years.
in a row.
today.
uh-huh.
choosing the wrench is what i DO...
no jokes.
staying up here is the hardest thing.
staying up here is the absolute best thing.
at the same dang time.
sure,
careers and relationships and finances and friendships
have all come and gone,
and gone badly, and been taken Off The List,
each in their turn.
jeez.
that last decade was a real motherF*er, y'heard?
and sure,
the styles get harder;
and the days seem longer;
the nights seem colder, and darker, and deeper;
and the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress deteriorates
just a little bit more every damned day;
sure sure sure,
none of it is easy-
but it's still what i decided on,
so it's still what i'm working on,
and it's still what's all always really happening.
*
duders,
eleven years!
yeeeeeeears.
a flippin' second decade,
starting....... now.
it doesn't get better, that's never been the point-
the object is more,
and too much of it is the exact right amount.
the perfect number is eleven;
never quiet, never soft.....

dumps.

lunar new year.
yeah.
neighbors,
i couldn't skip out on some sort of celebration.
so i produced some new activation as a variance on
some staid, tried and truly due-processed hottness.
what?
c'mon,
i did what needed doing, duders-
y'know?
word.
check the new-year new-moon new-style teleport:

that's right.
dumps,
on my face.
i got busy on the filling, too.
to make sure it wasn't just expert,
but also went to eleven.
i mean,
it has to get fresher than usual if it's for a celebration.
otherwise, how are we really fully truly appreciating the fresh start?
not with ordinary elite activation, that's for sure.
duders,
radishes are dope.
they're in there for spice and crunch and texture an' that.
smart.
minced carrots and celery and red onions,
and garlic and garlic and garlic,
and shredded baby brussels sprouts are all sauteed and
spread out inside the dumpty wrappy-wraps!
i know about flavor combining, kids.
ground mustard, hot sauce, rice wine vinegar,
ginger, g.p.o.p., black pepper....all of that.
it's the only way.
sesame seeds and agave nectar and sesame oil,
toasted and caramelized base for an amazing deglazing
by seitan and tempeh crumbles, stewed into super softness.
i'm telling you- it had to happen in a specific sequence-
simmered for a spell in liquid aminos and sushi vinegar,
with liquid smoke and spices, to make a complex vegan protein matrix.
yeah.
brown on brown business is what's up.
and i even freaked off my sauces a little this time, too.
all kinds of sauteed garlic,
red pepper,
oils, sugars, and secret spices.
don't worry, y'all, i had it all under control...
after all, i'm an expert.
***********
the wood horse.
i'm worried a little bit.
i mean,
the last wood horse i heard about F*ed up troy well properly.
subtle sneaky subterfuge?
no thanks.
let's hope this one is more straightforward and less duplicitous.
i guess we'll find out.
i prefer a brutal berserk barbarian battle-beastly full-frontal charge.
you know how i like it.
no nuance,
just hammering home the raging stormswept sh!ttiness.

i can say with certainty that the first day felt a whole lot like this:

ugh.
the date on the calendar, eastern or western, is irrelevant, friends.
every day,
in every way,
i follow a rigorous routine that remains constant no matter what-
stay ugly, stay dope.
that's it.
stinking smoke on my tongue,
for the first time in months and months;
with a soy sauce and sesame sriracha chaser?
my mouth tastes like my face looks.
.....horrible.
awwww, man.
it's all really happening,
one way or another;
never quiet, never soft.....

RABBBBITRABBBBIT.

hey there, duders.
it's the first of february.
...finally.
jeez.
january really dragged it's lazy A* along, didn't it?
yeah.
a slow-motion limp,
a hobbled and humiliated hitch in time,
staying on long past the point of worn-out welcomes;
for far more time than manners would've ever deemed proper.
rude.
but,
like everything else,
it did finally end,
with a gasp, a grasp, and a disappointing lack of crescendo.
there's no need for a reflective pensive denouement
if there's no climax of dramatic apprehensive active participation.
oh well.
nobody ever leaves with the title,
unless it's the title to some property you owe money on.....
yikes.
well,
at any rate,
that's all over and done with now,
and we're reppin' february pretty flippin' hard.
it's B.H.M.;
it's valentine's time;
and today is the one year anniversary of living singly in the
Folk Life & Liberty Fortress as sole sovereign proprietor.
seriously,
it's been an entire twelve months worth of hermitage already.
yuuuup.
time flies by faster and faster in an outward increasing ever-widening spiral
of overlapping circles,
and it's all really happening all the time,
even when you're spanning it in a fugue state.
that's real.
moreover,
time keeps on going, and harder, and louder, and longer-
even when you need a little minute to catch your breath.
who knew that cardiovascular activity was so important
in the interest of keeping up with the unfolding creases
of the ceaselessly expanding secret universal plans.
huh?
oh. i dunno.
i'm just typing words borne out of a weeklong sleeplessness.
but,
here's the thing....
it's the first of the month.
a new picture on my calendar,
a new year of wood-horse lunar action,
a year's milemarker lodestone for doing my dirt all by my lonely,
and all of it accented, highlighted, punctuated, and underscored
by one word,
spouted out in a shout like a gout of percussive drumbeats
and slow rolling rattletrap r's....
y'know?
no?
oh, yes you do:
rabbit rabbit.
c'mon.
you know the rules.
i said it first and foremost,
as soon as my eyeballs opened up,
my mouthpiece followed suit.
i mean,
y'gotta keep your coincidences cultivated
in a fertile field of fruitful fortune an' that.
don't be dumb.
*
so i said the word, and then i said it again,
iterated and reiterated as an echo into the air...
neighbors,
i'm ready.
in fact,
i'm having cake.
check the teleport:

mmmmmmmhmmmmmmm.
peanut butter chocolate chip fudge,
in peanut butter brownie batter,
smothered in chocolate peanut butter marshmallow frosting,
with vegan toasted marshmallow sprankles!!!
brown on brown on brown on brown on brown.
i told you,
it's B.H.M.
and i doo-doo that freaky-diki earth-tone dessert-type sh!t.
there's plenty for everyone,
as long as you know where to come and get it.
i mean it.
teleport:

see?
i got it like that...
and what's more,
i'm inclined to share.
uh-huh.
you're invited to sample some of this expert business.
i'll be at work all damned day long.
if you know where that is,
i'll be waiting for you,
and i'll even cut you a slice myself.
today is the day.
the first day,
the rabbit-rabbit'd recital of new hottness,
the beginning of all kinds of new things.
this is it;
never quiet, never soft.....