alright.

here you go, neighbors.
cookies.
chocolate ones.
hell,
chocolate-covered chocolate chip jauns.
i'll do you one better, even-
chocolate drizzled chocolate chocolate chip rock bloxxx.
yup.
check the brown-on-brown-on-brown-on-brown-type teleport:

mmmm.
good morning.
duders,
if y'all don't know about rock bloxx,
well,
your A* had better ask somebody.
for real.
two sticks of buttery vegan yellowishness,
and a whole bag of dark brown sugar,
and cocoa, and chocolate, and chocolate chips,
and oat flour, and wheat flour, and ground coconut,
and maple syrup all married together and mixed-up
and made into the most expert cookies in the woodsly goodness.
yes.
rock bloxx are definitely a friendship test.
they have the right amount of everything,
which of course,
is waaaay too much.
and if you're only reppin' just one?
ewwww.
that's weak sauce.
they're like the other other rock blocks-
that means three in a row, minimum.
jeez.
don't be dumb.
if you can't hang out with 'em,
you missed the point,
and you can't sit with us.
womp womp.
i made 'em up,
and i made 'em for everybody.
it's past time that they made an appearance this year.
when it's time to get up exxxtra early and get crackin' at the crack of dawn,
it's certainly time to get busy blastin' out some burly brown bombs
of chocolaty new hottness.
c is for cookie, kids.
that's the truth.
**********
y'know what?
mmhmm.
i'm feeling like you guys could use a little help.
so,
i'll give you the basics for these ultimate warrior blops.
yeah.
anyway,
you're welcome.
now,
gather your ingredients....
-
2.5 cups of flour
1.5 cups oat flour
1 cup coconut flour
1 cup butter-style stuffs
1/2 cup applesauce
2 cups brown sugar
a splash of maple syrup
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt.
1/2 cup cocoa
1/4 cup ground chocolate
1 pkg chocolate chips
2 tsp vanilla
now,
if you don't know what order to mix stuff in,
you might be a little bit of a stoopidhead.
however,
if you get it together enough to get a batter whipped up,
then drop some golf-bal sized blops on a baking sheet,
and give 'em hell at 375 degrees F for twelve minutes.
if you can doo-doo that freaky sh!t,
and then melt down some chocolate chips
with confectioners sugar,
and vanilla, and soymilk,
until it's a syrupy sweet sauce-
spoon that thick ganache-y goodness on top,
and you'll be all up into it like a real expert.
you have the information,
now make the magic happen;
never quiet, never soft.....