berfday.

ummmm,
neighbors,
today is a double berfday.
really.
my tattoo-community-socialite homeboy,
miss shawn hebrank turns the dial  towards older today,
over in fort collins, colorado,
which happens to be one of the least obese cities in america.
true story.
and very happy berfday wishes go out to him.
*
over here, though.....
the woodsly goodness is going to give a gala fete
for one of my personal favorites-
uh-huh.
my ladyfriend,
who is called amber,
turns twenty-six.
today.
...and very proud we all are of her.
for the record,
it's not a birthday party if nobody is invited,
so we aren't exactly partying.
(i DO so hate having fun, after all)
but,
we aren't taking shorts on activation, regardless.
the thing of it is,
without cake, it isn't real.
rules is rules.
so,
if we're gonna celebrate in the style of worthy warriors,
and/or poets,
(incidentally, R.I.P. ultimate warrior. my heart weeps)
then we're gonna need some cake.
check the teleport:

happy mutha-'ucking expert-A* day, b!tches!!!
on the ones, friends,
that cake got taken to eleven like whaaaaat?!
strawberry cake.
pink and everything, made with powdered and pulverized,
fresh, flash-frozen, and freeze-dried forms of heart shaped red berries.
and in between the two turbo-sexy layers of heart shaped crumbs?
pureed strawberry compote jauns, from scratch.
yup.
expert is the only way i doo-doo that happy-happy-type sh!t.
and there's vanil'lemon super creamy uber-whipped frosting
mortaring 'em together,
and smothering the fresh bits inside.
and just to make sure y'all know i'm not playing around-
that's strawberry frosting accenting all those hearts and hearts and hearts.
uh-huh.
i put my heart into it,
so that it's the way it's supposed to be.
i love other peoples' b-day times.
i really really do.
so i'm ready, and the cake is waiting for candles
and for huffing and puffing and wishing and cutting and all that.
today is the day.
there's more going on,
but i've been so busy in the kitchen all damned day long,
it'll have to keep until tomorrow.
jolly good fellows one and all, y'all;
never quiet, never soft.....