black tea party.

cake.

mmhmm.

cake is dope.

and cake with that extra fresh crumb,

from both soy yogurt and vegan sour creaminess?

yeah.

that's that expert sh!t for sure.

so,

how do we amp up our cakey hottness even more?

well,

how about making miniature squares of corner-crisped activation?

yes!

that's a damned good start too,

but i'm feelin' a little british at the moment,

so i'm gonna need a whole other 'nother little bit of big action

to make sure it all goes all the way to eleven, or even more.

uh huh.

like what?

oh, 

i'll tell you like what, neighbors.

like this:

wu-TANG!

black tea-infused frosting,

and a goobieblop of raspberry jammie jam??!

you know it.

tea cakes for your flippin' face,

because i take names of things and make them mean new things.

that's how you know it's good.

*

i'll confess a little bit of information to you, kids...

but only because i tell true stories-

i used a basic muffin style batter,

and freaked it off with a smidgen more sugar,

and no literal liquid smotherizing, 

just thick faux dairy dollops all over the place.

y'know,

for that magical cakey smooth moist dense textural sexiness

that makes it all come together like it's a whole lot more dope

than y'all originally figured it would be.

yuuup.

i doo-doo that on-the-fly modification-type sh!t.

i mean,

who wants weak sauce treats?

right?

what am i?

an A*-hole?

no way.

i'm on that expert recognize expert jauns up here,

and the woodsly goodness is super unforgiving of anything 

less than the loudest, freshest, and hardest styles. 

that's a thing.

so,

i promise you guys will get some recipes eventually.

cookbooks take time,

it turns out.

weird.

nothing goes quickly,

and yet,m every day flies by.

i don't get it, but i endure it.

it's all really happening, too fast, and too slow,

all at the same time;

never quiet, never soft.....