fancypants.

duders,
i'm all about that cake.
yes.
cake.
...and the more expert the better.
y'know?
so when it was time to activate a little somethin' special,
i made sure to make sure the superfancy business was assured.
black tea is delicious, and that citrusy bergamot magic
that pops out in our main man earl grey's namesake is number one
for sophisticated delicate delicacy-style sips an' that.
so,
when i made up some better batter,
i added in a couple bags of that, to make it best,
and then took it to eleven with the essence of lavender leaves, too.
uh-huh.
why would i do that?
because i know all about getting rad in the kitchen, kids.
c'mon.
was it earl grey and lavender cake?
no way.
it was those accents that took it to unassailable heights of hottness,
but it was lemon poppyseed cake.
check the bundt-looks-a-lot-like-a-butthole-type teleport:

boom!!!
a finessed atoll of crumb and citrus and leaves and seeds.
that's what's up.
lemon juice, lemon extract, tons of buttery pats,
and lemon zest added in with the tea and lavender and sugar,
ahead of time, for soaking in and saturating everything.
yep.
there's the tiniest babiest bit of orange zested zip, too,
to accentuate the subtleties of the earl grey goodness.
oh,
and lemon-juicy vanillemon icing, with even more zest,
this time doo-dooing double duty as sprankles!
F*ing right, neighbors...
and then there's the poppyseeds.
tiny black dots that mix in with all the tea dust,
so the peppered flecks of dark contrast with the light yellowy
sunshine of the moistest and bestest circle of cake that
the woodsly goodness has seen in years.  
that's a thing.
*
i'm eating cake for breakfast,
even if it's brutally british,
and crucially old-fashioned.
so?
you know you wish YOU had some.
well,
i'm easy to find.
keep an ear open, and your feet on the ground,
and if you make it to the tattbomb sh!t-shack,
well,
your watering mouth might be rewarded with a slice.
you decide your own level of involvement.
active participants get treats,
weak-sauce waterbabies get lost;
never quiet, never soft.....