pick me up.

two tubs of vegan cream chee',
and half a tub or vegan sour cream,
and a cup of confectioners sugar,
a little cornstarch,
a tablespoon or three of tapioca starch,
a splash of almondy extract,
and a squirt of vanilla extract,
all added in together in a big-A* bowl.
with hearty, hard-styled, concentrically-circling heavy-duty
clockwise whisk-whipped mixing for a whole lot of minutes,
before too long,
you've got that sexy, creamy, thick business
that you'll thank me for later.
uh-huh.
...
duders,
my buddy beau said i should make vegan tiramisu.
now,
i'll tell you guys the truth-
i never had the real one.
because,
way back in the olden days before i made the better dietary choices
that my body thanks me for every day,
i never ever got into anything that was very fancy.
at all.
but,
since i've been reppin' super-fancy unnecessary jauns for a little minute now-
i looked into what goes on inside this stacked up treat.
kids, i'll be forthcoming here-
it sounded hard, and time-consuming, and kinda super-unvegan-ish.....
so i knew i HAD to activate it.
and activate it i surely did.
check the holy-sh!t-type teleport:

whaaaaaat?!?!
c'mon.
that's what's good in the woods today, neighbors.
yeah.
i baked up a layer of thin, moist cakey hottness,
with instant coffee dissolved inside of it,
and a second layer, with just the slightest hint of cocoa, too.
i guess the real thing has some kind of liquer and coffee soaked up
into some dry-A* wafers-
that sounds soggy, to me.
so i went with a slightly less sopping alternative.
the bottom cake got basted with a strong, thick, almond-laced,
coffee-extracted simple syrup that employed espresso as the solvent liquid.
it had all the amaretto action you could ask for,
and none of the inherent alcoholic content.
you may not have ever even heard of this,
but:
it's okay not to drink.
that's actually a real thing.
no jokes.
anyway,
after the glazed gooey goodness soaked into the caramelized caketop,
the cream was basted on extra thickly.
marscarpone cheese would be jealous of how expert that stuff is.
i mean it.
that set itself in place in the fridge for a few,
while i basted the bottom of the second layer.
a quick flip,
and a second soaking for the top,
and even more magical mock-marscarponey cream chee' topping,
and it was ready for the traditional cocoa dust overload.
i guess that's the thing?
too much cocoa, like a deadly dust storm all over the surface?
nice.
obviously i had to do it.
i think you're supposed to hold your breath when you take a bite?
if not,
you breathe in a powdered brown chocolate assault that'll choke you out.
yep.
i think treats that trick you are dope.
oh,
and i even slid the remainder of the frosty whipped delights on the sides.
actually,
i actually had a little baby bit left over after that, too.
i remixed that up with more sugar, and more coffee extract,
and instant coffee crumbles until it resembled heavy whipped cream,
and i dolloped that on top,
with some expert curls of shaved dark chocolate truffle,
just to take it all the way to eleven.
uh huh.
i'm definitely a little proud of this one.
according to my dinner-mates,
it surpassed the original by a country mile.
i like to hear that.
***********
the tattoo studio is F*ed up.
remodeling or something.
the floors are jacked,
the walls are bare,
the furnace has been removed,
and the temperature dropped pretty damned low last night.
i have a feeling that all the fancy pick-me-up cake in the world
isn't gonna improve the sh!t-salad smearface that today is sure to be.
enduring inconveniences is what i do best, maybe?
today will test that, for certain.
it's been a beast of a week so far,
with harder and harder styles pushing me further and farther
from where i've been resting for so many years in a row.
times change, i suppose, no matter how hard you try to stay the same.
i'll blame it on the wild winds that are dominating the airflow
with warlike answers to shifting sides.
it's all really gonna keep on happening,
but that's what it all always really does;
never quiet, never soft.....