4TH!!!

hey neighbors, i bet there'll be some fireworks later-

i mean, really, man.
you need a tattoo today?!
go get a sunburn while you're on a boat.
be excited about the country you live in that you've never been out of.
or the town you live in that you've never been out of.
or the house you live in that you've never been out of.
outside there'll be rockets red glares and bombs bursting in the air,
and tank-topped flag-wavers congregating to stare upwards.
this is america.
don't get caught slippin', bruh;
never quiet, never soft.....

AVOCADO!

dudes,
it's just toast......but better.
yeah.
i mean, c'mon- avocado toast is good stuff,
and if you have a LOT of avocado?
well, then you're probably having a good time, y'know?
mmhmm.
look:

homemade sourdough toast!
mashed ripe avocado!
cilantro leaves.
fire-roasted tomato flakes.
crawnchy radishes.
thin-sliced purple carrot.
blackened halved baby sweet grape tomatoes.
and agave-glazed pepitas...
when you can combine that many tasty things it'll always be expert.
the bread is what makes it really great.
that's real.
good bread makes better people,
and it certainly makes or breaks an epic breakfast snack too.
if you're the kind of person who eats things with your mouth?
you should probably try some of this.
it's basically made to go in there;
never quiet, never soft.....

SWT!

sick.
wolf.
tat.

that's right;
NQNS.....

BLOOBZ!

gluten-free vegan blueberry muffins.
you want a story about all the fun i had yesterday?
how about a tale of quesadillas and bell peppers?
store dumplings and crochet blankets?
well, sorry, bro.
the big news is the muffins.
y'feel me?
check the teleport:

blueberry muffins are the best muffins.
real talk.
and with raw sugar sprankles and little oaty bits on top?
c'mon.
that's expert.
wanna make some for the people in your life who don't eat wheat?
alright.
-
*
BLUEBERRY JAUNS!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉
-
in a mixin' bowl, cream up:
1 cup sugar;
1 stick ( 8 T ) vegan butter;
2 tsp vanilla.
add in, and stir up:
3 T vegan sour creme;
3 T plain unsweetened coconut yogurt.
add in:
2 T tapioca flour;
1 tsp ea baking kapowder and soda;
1 cup bob's ap baking flour;
1/2 cup bob's 1:1 flour;
1 cup mama's almond flour;
1 cup frozen wild maine blueberries;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
combine all that, and stir it gently to fold in all the blueberries.
grease a muffin tin, and add in all the stuff, one scoople at a time.
i feel like you shouldn't need to be told that,
but i also don't know if you'd do it right.
so now you know.
add a pinch of oats and sugar to each top and bake 'em for thirty minutes.
that's it.
firm, soft, warm, sweet, berry-magical little breakfast bombs for your face.
that's all you need, nerds;
never quiet, never soft.....

RULES...

everybody knows you make cinnamon buns on the first.
rules is rules.
look:

DOPE, right?
i know.
here's the recipe-
-
*
CINNAMONKEYS!
-
preheat the oven to 375℉
-
in a small saucepot, on low heat, combine:
4 T vegan butter;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
2 tsp vanilla;
until melted...
allow it to cool a little baby bit- warm is cool, hot is baddddd.
-
in your upright stand-mixer, dough-hooked and ready, combine:
3 cups flour;
1/2 tsp sea salt;
1/2 tsp wheat gluten;
1/4 cup sugar;
1/2 tsp cinnamon;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
and that milky butter stuff.......
knead it up for 11 minutes.
you want that sturdy, shiny dough ball-
let it rise for 15 minutes.
-
roll it out, on a floured surface, into a rectangle,
and spread some cinnamon sugary filling from the long edge to both short edges,
and leave an inch margin on the last long edge,
to seal it shut when you roll the whole thing into a spiral log.
hmm?
what's the filling?
really?
i do this once a month, cmon.
ok, okay, OKAY-
1 cup brown sugar;
1 tsp cinnamon;
1/4 tsp nutmeg;
1 tsp vanilla;
6 T vegan butter.
all smooshed together, and spread out so smoothly.
-
cut your rolled up buns into 12 pieces,
and arrange them in a BIG cast iron pan,
with parchment spread in there for the easiest clean up.
that's all.
bake it for 33 minutes of so, maybe a little longer
if you want that extra-bubbly sugary caramel hottness...
and then you ice 'em up-
powdered sugar and vanilla and s'milk-
but, i did DOUBLE drizzle, too, dudes.
the second one was thinner, and drippier, and full of MORE cinnamon.
mmhmmmmmmmmm.
that's the thing we do around here.
you know it.
i know it.
everybody knows it.
i had half the pan.
i didn't need to, but i wanted to, so i did.
too much is the right amount.
that's the way we start the month;
never quiet, never soft.....

THIS ONE!

when john comes to town, he gets cooler tattoos than you.
i'm sorry, but it's the truth.
he literally sits down and says, do whatever comes to mind....
and a lotta tattooers would ask for direction,
or try to do some classy japan tattz,
or something from their sketchbook-
not me, neighbors.
i don;t even have a sketchbook.
but i do have one heck of a list of wanna-do's,
and i also have a marker or three,
and a bunch of creativity backed up,
which i don't normally need when i'm bammin' out those day-to-day
mortgage-payin' money tattz, y'feel me?
so when i CAN do the real sh!t?
the stuff that makes me LOOOOVE tattooing?
you KNOW i'm taking one-hunna-percent advantage of the situation.
that's f'really real.
this time, i did my favorite dinosaur,
dressed for vacationing in the place i understand the least:

a triceratops wearing tricera-crocs a la lake winnepesaukee second-homeowner.
hahahahhahahhhhhaaaaaha.
F* yeah!
stop getting pinterest tattoos.
you're better than that, aren't you?
right?
i think so.
get some fun tattz.
get some wild sh!t.
get into the big action and make everybody happier.
i believe in you.
i believe in me.
i believe in us.
i got you, boo-boo,
now get your butt over to AMPERSAND TATTOO
and skip the line by getting a tattoo that your artist actually likes.
everybody wins here;
never quiet, never soft.....

RRRABBIT! RRRRABBIT!!

yeah, i said it-
obviously, if there are magic words that you must say at the beginning of the month,
you'd best believe i'm gonna do exactly that.
right?
rules is rules, after all.
and when you know 'em, you might wanna follow 'em-
especially if they're there to summon spirit and memory and fortune
and fresh-to-death favorable outcomes.
y'know?
that's right.
so i said the thing, first thing, straight from opened eyes to opened mouth.
that's how you do it, if you plan to do it.
and out into the aether erupted the sacred syllables:
rabbit! rabbit!!
yuuuuuup.
...and now the whole damned month is gonna be molto expert.
that's how that works.
and when i said bye bye to june, i did it with six tattoos-
uh-huh.
but before all of that, i made some crissspy waffles.
mmhmm.
check 'em out:

WAFFLES ARE TIIIIIGHT!
and when you 100% overdo it?
when the whole shootin' match goes to eleven?
then you know you're dope, and your morning is dope,
and your whole life might get a baby bit better because of it.
f'realsies.
real maple syrup? ✔
blueberry-raspberry compote? ✔
coconut whipped cream? ✔
vanilla non-dairy ice cream? ✔
kapowdered sugary sprankles??! ✔✔
too much is the right amount, and if you aren't committed to that,
we aren't having brekkie together, bro.
so, whaddya need?
recipes?
ok.
-
*
COMPOTENT!
-
in a small sauce pot, on medium heat, combine:
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/4 tsp lemon zest;
1/4 tsp lemon extract;
1 cup wild maine blueberries;
1/2 cup frozen raspberries...
get that all liquidy and wet and soft,
then remove 3 t of liquid, add 2 tsp organic non-GMO cornstarch,
whisk,
add in, and turn up the heat.
uh-huh.
stir the whole thing until it thickens, quickle, then get ready to have your face
explode with joy at the full bodied textural triumph of this stuff.
that's no joke.
*
and the waffs themeselves?
easy:
-
*
WAFFZ!
-
heat up your waffle iron.
-
in a mixing bowl,
combine:
2/3 cup king arthur ap flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
1/2 cup oat flour;
3 T ground unsweetened coconut;
1 tsp ea baking soda and powder;
3 T sugar;
3 T melted vegan butter;
1/4 cup vegan sour creme;
1 cup plus 2 T non-dairy ilk;
2 tsp vanilla.
stir it up, rest it for fifteen minutes or more,
then let the iron do it's job.
i told you already- it's easy.
-
and now it's july.
today is the day.
i got cinnamon buns in the oven,
i got the calendar page flipped,
i have all the positive mental attitude i can muster up.
july is the start of for really real sunmmertime.
this is it.
and it's one of the better months, tbh.
i can only think of like, two people who are from july who are awful.
almost everybody else is pretty cool when they're a julyer.
y'know?
i think that's a rule.
and i do love a good rule;
never quiet, never soft.....

TACOS DE PAPAS!

potato tacos???
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
check it:

¡OLÉ, lil bihhhhh!
you got your soft flour tortillas.,
rules is rules,
and those are what we use here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
there's purple cabbage shreds,
a punch of cilantro,
slivered red onion,
tomato,
lime,
and fire roasted tomato salsa all ready to activate these little lovelies.
but,
the big action resides in the black bean hash, and those crissssspy potatoes.
yeah, neighbors-

these are dope.
the beans were easy as heck:
1 cup rinsed black beans,
1/2 cup tri-color sweet peppers;
1/4 cup sweet onion;
salt, pepper, GPOP, ground coriander, cilantro leaf, and a dash of cumin.
all of that, in a skillet over high heat with a dab of coconut oil.
mmmmmmmmm.
-
and then there's the red skin-on superfire potatoes.
yes!
boiled cubed potatoes,
fried up in coconut oil,
with GPOP, salt, pepper, guajillo pepper, cayenne pepper, smoke paprika,
lime, and ground coriander, sizzled up to a shiny, crunchy crust on each piece.
daaaaaaaaaammmmmmn.
that's dope.
potato tacos are a thing.
and they're a good thing, too.
*
i hope y'all are ready for july.
it's got, like, three big berfdays in it.
america, breezy, and embry, in that order.
i'm excited about all three, for the record.
i'm also excited about cinnamon buns for breakfast tomorrow, bro.
that's what we do on the first,
and that's what's gonna happen.
it has to.
without 'em, is it even the first?
right?
you get it;
never quiet, never soft.....

BROWNIES!

how about a batch of seriously chocolaty brownies?

yeah?

yeah!

check the teleport:

if you like chocolate, you'll like these.

if you love chocolate, you'll love these.

if you hate chocolate, well, you aren't very cool and nobody cares what you think.

so, there's that.

would you like to make these?

ok!

here's how:

-

*

BROWNIES!

-

preheat your oven to 350℉

-

grease a brownie pan (duh) 9" x 11"

-

in a 2 quart sauce pot, on low heat, melt

1 stick vegan butter ( 8 T );

1/2 tsp salt;

1 cup brown sugar;

1/2 cup sugar;

1/3 cup cocoa;

1 cup non-dairy milk;

2 tsp vanilla.

-

add:

2 1/4 cups flour;

1 tsp ea baking soda and powder;

3 T cacao.

stir it up to thickness,

and add:

1/2 bag dark chocolate chips.

pour it out evenly into the pan, add a handful of chocolate chips across the top,

and bake it for 30 minutes.

-

now you've got deep, moist, thick chocolate brownies.

all you gotta do to turn it up?

MORE chocolate.

too much is the right amount, y'know?

yeah you do.

1/2 cup melted chocolate chips, with 2 T non-dairy milk is all there is to it.

stripes of exxxtra chocolate are good for you.

and when you're eating brownies,

there's really no such thing as enough chocolate anyway.

...

it's all very straightforward.

add a lotta chocolate.

bake it in the oven.

eat too many.

that's kind of my thing already;

never quiet, never soft.....

GRILL'D EVEN MORE!!

dudes!
a cheeseless, sauceless pizza on the grill?
YES!!!
holy sh!t-
with grilled tomatoes, and grill-roasted potatoes, red onions,
alllll the garlic, and radishes, and fresh-plucked herbs from my garden?
everything expert is all i'm even dealing with right now.
check it out:

YEEEEEEEAH!!
do you even know what i'm talking about?
i mean, you see it- but do you know, bro?
this is IT.
the grill was raging with high intensity hot fire.
the coals were glowing,
the whole scene was set for big drama.
and out comes this rich, crisp, chewy-centered crust.
that's tight.
dressed with olive oil to start-
plus the lightly-fried garlic slices that are my grilled pizza signature.
i roasted the potatoes in foil, with oil, black pepper and pink salt,
then unloaded the whole pouch onto the pizza.
i got myself a couple of grillin' trays, so i used one to blacken up those tomatoes, too.
neighbors, that's dreamy-
smoky, burst tomato hottness turns up the pizza game to eleven.
no jokes.
and the red onion? smart.
the radishes? c'mon. you weren't expecting it......but you like it.
and the fresh oregano, and basil, and rosemary?
y'need sprankles, bruh.
get with it.
i gave you the dough recipe.
i told you about the fire.
all that's left is for you to try it yourself.
i s'pose you could use a propane jaun, if that's all you have-
but it won't be as dope......not even one little tiny baby bit close to it, even.
fire is the way to go.
that's a thing.
pizza is the best.
grilled pizza tastes like summer.
that's it;
never quiet, never soft.....

GRILL'D AGAIN!

with the success of one tasty pizza pie over wood fire on the grill
under my belt, and inside my bellyhole,
there was nothin' else to do but get right into another 'nother one.
uh-huh.
no way to know if i'm good at it unless i can reproduce the results, right?
right.
so, with the dough made the same,
and the same grill with a similar fire of charcoal and split wedges of maple,
i got back into the groove of flippin' dough, toppin' it,
and rotating the edges towards the open flames.
and it was a success, again.
check the teleport:

GRILLED PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!
big brussels sprouts, quartered and sauteed in oil,
with a splash of both tamari and balsamic vinegar to caramelize those little weirdies.
caramelized onions, of course.
grape tomatoes, spinach,
and those fat fried garlic slices- about two cloves worth- to turn up the flavor.
and there's crushed tomato sauce and minced daiya mozzarella on there, too.
neighbors-
MINCE your chee'. it melts nicer when you do that.
just a friendly reminder, for your sake.
and i mean, how dope does that pie be lookin'?
right?
i know!!
forty five seconds on each side to get those good grilled corners,
and then the raging fuego does it's job with the lid closed and the flames lickin'
at the interior of the grill, and the exterior of the pizza.
there's just something really summery about that smoky, crunchy crust,
and it's honestly a little faster than if i made it with my tired old oven.
yeah.
i'm excited about finally getting into this grilling business.
i wanted some of this, and the only way i was gettin' it was to do-do that sh!t myself..
ha.
so, it's pizza season outdoors at the Fortress.
you're invited, maybe.
unless you hate good food, and fire, and flavor.
in that case, stay home and go to bed or somethin'.
i want warrior poets munchin' up meals with me, man.
that's a thing.
if you know what's up, however, there's always room on the grill for one more pie.
too much is the right amount.
that's just the way it is;
never quiet, never soft.....