lists.

i love lists.
i keep lists.
all really real ones got lists,
for real.
santa has a list (he checks it twice)
studio 54 had a list,
schindler had a list,
even groceries got lists,
and wishes got lists that are named after 'em.
back in medieval times,
knights were registered as worthy adversaries,
as epic combatants,
and as virtuous, stalwart, worthy battle bards,
on LISTS.
thats what the roster of badass armored arm & leg chopper-offers was called.
the lists, ya'll.
i've had a list of all my peoples and really real-life-livin' ninjas since forever...
in my head;
i know the runnin' tallies and totals of all ya'll who do it right.
it is NOT easy to be on my list. 
keepin' it real,
taking it to eleven,
living a knight ridin' hot and fiery folk life,
that'll do wonders for making me amped about everything.
but don't be a pretender.
and remember that withholding facts is a lot like lying.
omission is conflict avoidance.
berserker barbarian battle-beasts do NOT get down like that.
you could end up off the list...
you can't fool a fooler, an' that.
i can almost smell 'em,
those foolers.
i have a black-operational sixth sense,
tuned in to the frequencies that determine the frequency of doo-dooin' that freaky sh!t.
and it lets a ninja know what's poppin',
sometimes before even i'm all the way aware of it.
i'm sure as heck not psychic,
or telepathic,
i just pay attention really hard.
i sometimes have to wonder out loud though:
is somebody kidding me?
spirit and memory.
smoke rings.
even when you see 'em comin',
you can't make people on the list stop making the same mistakes,
every. single. time.
just tryin' to get off the list, son.
weak sauce simmerin' and b!tch sap oozin' out.
on principle, you gotta wonder if real ninjas are still about sh!t.
you have to be on it, when it comes to your principles.
but you can definitely administer some hot fire spit on all principals.
(it's like a retarded drunk guy wrote that, huh?)
word.


what animal makes these ropes of hot poop?
and lives in a tunnely hole?
no, really.
which animal?
anybody out there have an idea?
i wanna know.


no principal kachiopoli water babies in these woods, son.
a perfect fall day.
with hot and spicy garlic potato soup!
i love how runny noses get,
and how righteous other parts get,
with some hot sauce and garlic.


mushrooms, kids.
definitely ON the list.
whatever's on your list,
don't just talk about it.
be about it.
never quiet, never soft...