Monday, June 24

SOURDOUGH PIZZA!

naturally fermented crust?
CRISP!
homemade pizza?
expert.
sourdough magic and from-scratch activation together are the team.

THAT'S THAT THANG, BRO!
crushed tomatoes,
MINCED daiya chee', of course-
i mean, c'mon- rules is rules.
caramelized onions, naturally.
kale under the sauce, too.
that's smart.
homemade vegan sausages, pepperonified with smoked hot paprika,
and GPOP, and black pepper and liquid smoke and crushed red pepper flakes.
y'know.
you take this
and cut up two of 'em and add all that other stuff with half a cup of water in a pan.
easy as heck dudes.
baked at 480℉ on a stone in my convection oven.
and then upgraded with parsley sprankles,
and two tone freshie-fresh basil hottness from the future.
thanks to dylan for that leafy delivery.
the dough recipe?
you got it:
-
*
SOURDOUGHPENESS!
-
in your upright stand mixer, with the dough hook attached, combine:
2 cups king arthur flour;
1 tsp wheat gluten;
2 tsp sea salt;
2 T olive oil;
1/2 cup sourdough starter;
1/2 cup warm water;
1 tsp bread machine yeast.
...now you got it going on.
beat it up, and add water if necessary, to get that good thang poppin'-
but give it eleven minutes of hot lumpin'.
and then cover it and let it rise for like, 36 hours in the fridge.
it gets lively, it gets tangy, it gets powerful.
and when you stretch it out? it's so strong.
guys,
it's dope.
and it does what it does perfectly.
if you don't eat pizza, i don't know what the eff you even do.
and also, pizza time is all the time.
and also also, pizza is SO good for you.
it's dope.
it's delicious.
it's perfect.
it's what you need.
eat more pizza.
you'll be better as a person if you do;
never quiet, never soft.....

L.A.M.B.

yoooooo,
look at my bread!!
yeah!!
from-scratch, fresh-baked, from-scratch, naturally-leavened sourdough bread.
that's something i do.
a LOT.
check it:

homemade

tastes

better.

i'm sayin'.
if you can have bread, you should.
celiac is a terrible thing, if you like bread.
and everybody likes bread...
sorry about gluten being dope as F*,
but i promise to make something wheat-free for you, man.

good

bread

makes

better

people
that's a fact.
and shoutouts to double loaves, too:

yeah!

hell yeah!
i just wanna make sexxxy loaves of pure white mountain wild yeast wonders.

but i get a lotta blowouts.

like, a lot.
but i also get some pretty expert ones too.

right?

y'can't go wrong with bread, bro.
for real.
look at it:

you wish you had some?

just ask, man.

i might get you a loaf fresh out of my oven.

if you're really nice.
too much is the right amount.
so here's three more:

word up.

this is it.

and that's that;
never quiet, never soft.....

Sunday, June 23

SUMMERCAKE!

lemon, brown sugar, and vanilla?
yes, y'all.
cake with those things in it is almost always expert.
this one was, for sure.
check it out:

CAAAAAAKE!!!!
i want pretty summertime fun and flavor for my face, neighbors.
that's no joke.
and if i need cake, the very best way to ensure maxxximum awesome?
make it myself.
yeah.
homemade from-scratch AND vegan as F*?!
that's what's up.
i went to the longest dance recital on the planet.
there was jumping and swinging and crawling and leaping
and a ton of girls standing on their tippitytoes.
to prepare i made cake.
is that the same as watching cute little kids be so proud of their achievements?
no.
watching the kids beam as very cool.
however, beforehand i needed to get my blood flowing and my face activated.
cake was the only option, really.
and it WORKED.
you wanna know what's IN it?
i got you, b.
here it is:
-
*
CAKE!
-
preheat your oven to 375℉
-
grease a 9" springform pan
-
in a big ol' mixin' bowl, cream up:
3/4 cup brown sugar;
1/3 cup sugar;
2 tsp vanilla;
1 stick ( 8 T ) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp lemon zest.
add in:
3 T non-dairy yogurt;
1/2 cup vegan sour creme and mix it well;
next, stir in:
2 1/2 cups king arthur flour;
2 tsp baking powder;
3 T tapioca;
1 tsp baking soda;
2.3 cup non-dairy milk.
whisk it up thoroughly, spooning it evenly into the pan,
and bake it for 30-45 minutes.
huh?
i know. that's a long variety of minutes.
how about ths:
remove it from the oven when a tester comes out clean from the center,
and let it cool completely before you even think about icing it.
the frosting is the same as usual-
3 cups powdered sugar;
1 stick vegan butter;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/3 cup s'milk.
boom, in your mixer with the whisk poppin'
you'll have the fluffiest stuff there is in no time.
i clearly added magenta and then yellow, in order of use, to the plain white frosting.
then i freaked it off to eleven with those coordinated flowery sprankles.
i mean, c'mon- it's summer, bro.
rules is rules.
y'gotta have sweets for the big days.
and now, the days are getting slightly shorter before we even fully
get into the warm swing of warm things.
we'll just need more cake, probably.
i can live with that;
never quiet, never soft.....

Friday, June 21

SUMMER!!!!

this is it!
summer 2019 is HERE.
i mean, for sure it's raining; but still, the time is upon us.
today is the day, and that's a big ol' deal to me.
summertime is pretty frickin' tight,
and i wish the schedule allowed for more enjoyment of the season.
instead i'm all up on that AMPERSAND TATTOO work grind.
but at night?
it's hot fire and great vegan food.
check it:

NOODLES?
*ahem*
NOODLES!!
yeah.
thai black rice jauns with sesame-ginger-garlic chili sauce!
that's right.
the goooooood stuff.
i even used a wok.
ha. yeah, i did.
coconut oil fried crissspy chili tofu.
i mean, c'mon-
a few dried chilis and a lotta coconut oil and those lil bad boys are fresh as hell.
-
how about the SAUCE?!
i got a cup of baby grape tomatoes;
two cloves of sliced garlic;
1 1/2" skin-on sliced and diced organic ginger;
3 T lime juice;
3 T tamari;
2 tsp sesame oil;
2 T coconut oil;
2 T chili paste;
3 T agave;
1/4 tsp black pepper;
1/2 tsp cumin;
2 T cilantro;
1/2 tsp coriander;
1/2 tsp cayenne;
1/2 cup water...
plus 1 T non-GMO organic cornstarch slurried in to thicken it up.
-
i had a couple of potatoes, cubed, boiled, and fried up in the leftover chili garlic sauce.
plus, shredded purple cabbage, red onion, scallion chunks, one stalk of celery.
and coriander all tossed up together.
maaaaaan,
that's fresh as fresh can be.
cucumbers, avocado, and a lil lettuce to pop it off.....
*
bye bye spring.
it's summertime now.
a huge bowl of noodles was a good way to get into a rainy night.
i know, the recipes aren't precise these days....
i'm sorry?
SIKE.
i'm busy.
it's summer.
there's things happening.
all of 'em, really;
never quiet, never soft.....

Thursday, June 20

'TZLES!

my older kids love a soft pretzel,
especially with scallion butter,
or seeded creamchee'.
i know this because i made all of that and they got into it.
i want a pretzel stand, man.
how awesome would it be to make a couple hundred pretzels every day before
most folks even wake up?
i think that'd be expert as hell, actually.
i also want a taco truck, a pizza wagon, a bakery, a cafe,
a coffee roastery, and on and on-
however,
since i started with the pretzels, there's been no chance of going back
to an un-pretzel reality.
that's a fact.
the newest batch had poppy seeds and sea salt,
and i made them with rye flour and oat bran and wheat germ,
because rules is rules, and exxxtra hottness is always invited.
that's a thing.
check the teleport:

FAMILY PRETZEL TIME!
that's the right time.
the recipe?
right here:
-
*
PREZ!
-
in your upright stand mixer, knead up:
2 cups of king arthur flour;
1 cup dark rye flour;
1 tsp sea salt;
1 pkg fast rise yeast;
2 T wheat germ;
2 T oar bran;
1 cup warm water;
2 T real new hampshire maple syrup;
1 tsp bread machine yeast;
1 tsp baking soda.
beat it all up for eleven minutes...
let it all rise, and while that's gettin' big,
bring a pot of water, with 3 T baking soda and 2 teaspoons of salt to a boil-
divide the dough into eighths, and roll it out to twist it up.
you've seen a pretzel, man.
do that.
- boil 'em thirty seconds on each side,
arrange them on parchment and seed and salt 'em,
before baking them for 14 minutes.
mmmmmmmhmmmmm.
you're welcome to improve upon it.
in fact, if you do, tell m all about it.
a good idea is a good idea no matter who thought of it;
so share the wealth and the info, and lets get this bread to be even bigger and better.
that's a thing.
*
i want more pretzels.
i want more pizza.
i want more time.
i want more of everything.
too much is the right amount.
this summer is gonna be the one.
more love more fun more happiness and more of all the best things-
and maybe some salty pretzels;
never quiet, never soft.....

SHAWARMA!

...and just like *that*,
i'm on that new-new dinnertime creation sorcery.
uh-huh.
i didn't feel like cooking.
not one bit.
but, then, something awesome happened-
the spirits of the pan-fried yeast-risen dough possessed me,
and i had to make something with that ill naa-naan bread, y'feel me?
f'real.
big fat fluffy buttery flaps of wrappable soft floury magic,
straight outta my memory banks, directly onto a plate for a big ol' batch of
hottness that hadn't ever been made by me before-
mmmhmmmmm.
you know about shawarma?
donner?
kefta?
well, look it up, neighbors.
and then recognize how tiiiiiiight these veggie bombs really are:

VEGAN WIZARD DINNER CREATION!
yup.
i did it.
i'm psyched about it.
no, but, for real, though.
look:

C'MON!
fresh veg, awesome sauce, potatoes and tomatoes out of the oven,
hummus, and veggie balls of the meatiest magic i've had in some time.
you want all the recipes?
i'll happily share:
-
*
NAAN!
-
combine 1 3/4 cups king arthur flour;
1 tsp sea salt;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1 tsp sugar;
2 T olive oil;
3 T unsweetened coconut yogurt;
2/3 cup warm water;
1 tsp wheat gluten.
knead it, preferably in your stand mixer with a dough hook attached, for 11 minutes.
let it rise for thirty minutes, divide it into 4 balls;
roll 'em out into circles on a floured work surface;
now heat up a large and in charge skillet on high heat until it's haaaaaaaaht as hell.
with a lil pat of vegan butter greasin' it up, add those naan one at a time and let it puff up
for like a minute per side or so.
they're soft and supple and pliably reliable for wrappin' up sandwiches.
basically they're totally expert, and that's no joke.
-
those potatoes?
well, man, they're oven roasted at 450℉.
that's three potatoes, fat french fry sliced, tossed in a bowl with:
GPOP, cumin, coriander, smoked paprika, coriander, black pepper,
pink salt, turmeric, guajillo and cayenne pepper, and a tablespoon of olive oil.
laid out on a parchment-lined tray and baked until they golden and crisp.
once you have potato magic on the sandwiches?
y'can't really go back to feeling as good without 'em.
-
i halved up a cup and a half of my favorite sweet baby grape tomatoes,
and tossed them around in the leftover spices in the same bowl,
and roasted them the same as the potatoes.
that roasty flavor is incredible.
like, why haven't i always been doing that?
on the ones, something as simple as changing the technique on a vegetable
can be a total game-changer at dinnertime
-
the sauce?
man, it's basically tzatziki, y'know?
-
*
TZATZ!
-
mix together:
1/2 cup unsweetened plain coconut yogurt;
1/4 tsp dried dill;
1/4 tsp dried parsley;
two shakes of black pepper and cayenne and sumac;
2 T finely minced cucumber;
1 T lemon juice.
you could add a clove of crushed fresh garlic to make it marginally more authentic.
i'd be fine with that even though i skipped it.
dudes, it's F*ing awesome though.
like, literally awesome sauce.
you want it on your naan. you want it on your fries.
you just want it.
it's dope.
-
i laid out a shmear of hummus, and shredded purple carrots,
and shredded purple cabbage, AND shredded purple onion.
i dropped a handful of mixed salad greens and a few pea shoots over the tops, too.
the colors make me wanna eat more of all of it.
and then or course, there's the meaty, magical, manly kebab nuggets.
guys, that's where the real hot fire came into play-
-
*
SHAWARMA BALLS!
-
in a pan, with olive oil, on high heat, saute:
1/2 block minced tempeh;
1/4 cup sliced sweet onion;
1 large clove crushed garlic;
as the onion gets clear, add:
1 tsp thyme;
1 tsp sage;
1/2 tsp black pepper;
1/2 tsp trader joes umami mushroom powder;
1 tsp ea Garlic Powder Onion Powder.
stir it all together,
and add in:
2/3 cup vegan broth;
1 T tamari;
1 T lemon juice;
2 shakes of liquid smoke;
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes.
simmer that until it's thickened and softened and soaked full of the flavors-
in a mixing bowl, sift together:
1/3 cup chick pea flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
3 T fresh minced parsley;
2 T scallion greens;
1 T wheat gluten-
add the tempeh to the flours, and mash it all well-
add extra chick pea flour if it's too sticky, and form up about twenty small balls of
bean-based burly mediterranean meatball masterpieces-
i fried and flattened mine in coconut oil, and got 'em all toasty on both sides.
......y'all ain't ready for this much hottness.
you could just get take-away food,
but it wont have the same level of expertism as all of this.
all told, this whole meal took about an hour to make.
that's not that wild, considering i had nothing panned when i started.
*
today is the last day of spring.
it's gonna rain.
that's appropriate.
are y'all ready for summer?
for big fun and sunshine and hot weather?
we're getting ourselves all braced for tourists and traffic
and every restaurant being totally clogged up,
and all the sights becoming unsightly for all the lookers out there.
yeah.
the woodsly goodness is beautiful, and it draws all the people in.
if they aren't getting tattoos, though?
they can get lost and i'd be fine with that.
f'real.
i need a day to just do all the things,
but i don't know where or when that'll be.
i get up early, that's true, but by the time i get going,
that window is closed.
there's more to every day than what i'm getting accomplished,
and i doubt making a suckier meal is the secret to unlocking a substantially better time.
i want to find some time, and take it, too.
that's the next expedition i'm setting out on;
never quiet, never soft.....

Wednesday, June 19

TORTELLINI!!!

i made pasta pouches with the kids.
yup.
and they were freakin' DOOOOOOOPE.
that's no joke.
me and my little half italian homegirls making a magical meal
in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress test kitchen laboratory was expert.
and so was our finished dinner.
check it:

that's what's up, bruh.
fried slices of garlic!
spinach leaves!
parsley sprankles!!
fire-roasted tomato sprankles!!!
yeah, man, the hottness was fired up on all cylinders or whatever that means.
and the broth?
dudes-
i surprised myself, even.
three tablespoons of minced onion,
one and a half cups of halved baby grape tomatoes,
and a tablespoon of olive oil,
plus pink salt and black pepper, seared until the onions started to color,
then there's GPOP and fire-roasted tomato flakes and three cups of broth.
uh-huh.
when you bubble that up?
the tomatoes and the onions make it thicker and better
than just plain-ol' bummery water, bro.
mmmmm.
the soup is separate from the tortellini.
that's important.
and the pasta itself?
homemade, obvi.
-
*
PASTA POUCH DOUGH!
-
in your doiuugh-hooked stand mixer combine:
2 T olive oil;
1 tsp sea salt;
1/2 cup semolina flour;
1 cup king arthur flour;
1 T fire-roasty flakes of tomato;
2/3 cup warm water, s'nicey nice-
beat it up and keep it frisky, so that it forms a fiurm shiny ball of dough-
at least 11 minutes of hard styled kneadin'...
-
rolled out on a well-floured surface, and cut up into 2.5" circles.....
we folded and crimped a freakin' mountain of 'em.
and that filling was turbo-elite and expert as heckfire, for real.
-
*
TEMPEH FILLING!
-
in a medium skillet, saute:
1/2 block shredded tempeh;
plus 2 T minced onion;
1 full bag of baby spinach (that wilts down to almost nuthin';
salt, pepper;
three cloves of crushed garlic;
a splash of tamari;
a dash of Onion Powder and Garlic Powder;
and a fat punch of nootch-
when the tempeh starts to brown,
y'gotta add a quarter cup of water,
and watch it quickly absorb.
that's that goooooood thang.

-
friends-
a spoonful of that in a circle of semi-semolina,
and you've got yourself some kind of mystical italian activation.
my kids said i could TOTALLY open a vegan italian restaurant,
and i got wet eyes about it a little.
they had a good time,
we had a good time,
there was a magnificent mealtime for all of us,
and it meant a lot to make it happen with them.
i'm grateful for the chance to share what i love with the ones that i love.
that's real.
boilin' those little crescents until they float,
and tossin' on 'em in olive oil and parsley?

it just felt good to do the thing.
i'm forever grateful for the time i've been given;
never quiet, never soft.....

POTATO PIZZA!

mashed mutha-'ucking potatoes on top of a thick-A* pizza??!
dudes,
apparently, there's a pizza with mashies on top at BAR in new haven.
this ain't that, but it is derivative.
i heard about it, so i took the reference and made it expert af.
look:

C'MON!
deep dish-style hottness for your face.
that's three red skin-on potatoes,
mashed with a tablespoon of vegan butter,
and a tablespoon of olive oil,
and a tablespoon of water (because i only had coconut milk),
and GPOP and nootch and pink salt and black pepper...
plus a little thyme and rosemary to keep 'em so sexxxy with that herb-activation.
how good are they?
tooooooo gooooooooood.
i mean it.
there's daiya mozzarella SHREDDED on that dough, over a spoonful of olive oil.
rules is rules.
and if you don't mince it?
F-.
-
steamed broccoli and caramelized red onion bits
AND homemade sweet smoky spicy tempeh bacon for the maxxximum
dopeness and deliciousness all at the same time.
hmmm?
tempeh bacon is really damned good-
that's half a block of sliced and diced tempeh,
with olive oil and GPOP and black pepper and smoked hot paprika,
and agave and liquid smoke and tamari and half a cup of warm water,
heated up and caramelized and that's just some incredible stuff to eat by itself
or especially on a pizza...
did i add scallion sprankles?
of COURSE I DID.
too much is the right amount....duh.
and the dough?
it's elite.
-
*
DOUGHSKI!
-
preheat the oven to 480℉
-
in your trusty, dusty, hook-affixed stand-up mixer, combine:
1 pkg fast actin' yeast;
1 1/2 tsp sea salt;
2 T olive oil;
1 1/2 cups king arthur flour;
2/3 cups warm water;
1/2 tsp wheat gluten.
that's the stuff.
beat it up for 11 minutes, and it'll be shiny and tight and wet and perfect-
let it rise thirty minutes or so,
then stretch it out across a greased 9" x 11" brownie-style pan.
y'gotta bake it a little longer than a thin crust, of course-
but i had that convection circulation whipping around,
and it was HOT as heck in there, giving a tasty crust to that dough.
mmmmmmmmmhmmmm.
man, that's what i needed.
what a triumph.
-
guys,
f'real though-
this is the TRUTH.
like, the effing future just got here, and there's no going back now.
a thick crust deep dish mashed potato jaun is exxxactly how much hottness you need.
make one.
eat the whole thing.
feel better about life.
it's a thing;
never quiet, never soft.....

Tuesday, June 18

CONNECTICUTIONERS!

it's never enough.
these two are the first ones.

that's something special.
they got a wild ride from the premier to the present,
but they became decent people, with good hearts and better personalities.
i'm grateful for the time we spanned, maing food, and sharing stories and laughs.
they're grown ups,.
they are.
and our relationship is something to be enjoyed.
i like them.
and i want to spend time with them.
when i was their age, literally NObody could stand to be around me.
(these days, there's maybe three people who last more than an hour)
so,
you can bet your bottommost buck that i'm super grateful they turned out
substantially SO much better than i would've guessed.
there's never enough time.
that's the thing i feel the most;
never quiet, never soft.....

PANCAKE BRUNCHING!

roasted red skinned potatoes,
tossed in olive oil, and smoked paprika,
and GPOP (Garlic Powder and Onion Powder)
plus pink salt and black pepper and especially turmeric,
because my old man bones are sore all the old man time, neighbors.
hmm?
yeah, i do that thing where you toss them out of a bowl and catch 'em in the same bowl
a whole bunch like on a tv commercial for shrimp or some sh!t.
hahaha.
i doo-doo that tossin'-type stuff.
then i arranged 'em on a parchment lined pan and baked those baddies
in an oven that rose up to 450 luscious fahrenheit degrees.
i fired up five smaller spuds, and let 'em get golden, and crisp,
and then i tossed 'em in a pan with some sweet onion and oil,
and got 'em all activated with exxxtra excellence.
f'really real.
that's how you do it.
wait.
what's this all about, anyway?
it's all about fathers day pancake breakfast for harvest and maple and i.
mmmhmmmmm.
check it:
WORD.
the potatoes are very necessary,
and those blackened tomatoes turn it up to eleven,
but it's the 'cakes that take the, um, y'know....
with real maple syrup, obvi,
because rules is rules,
and coconut whipped creme because we love to take it to the next level,
AND powdery sugar sprankles because the sweet tooth is hereditary,
and we LOOOOOOVE that sugar, neighbors.
mmmhmmmm.
but it's the actual pannieboi action that had us shook, son.
f'real.
-
*
PAPA-DAY PANNIES!
-
in a medium mixin' bowl, combine:
1/4 cup coconut meal;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/2 cup oat flour;
2 T brown sugar;
1 T sugar;
2 T oil;
1 1/2 cups king arthur flour;
2 tsp bakey kapowder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/2 cup vanilla non-dairy yogurt;
2/3 cup non-dairy milk, + more if needed....
stir it up, make it thick, get it ready,
and watch it thicken.
this is the batter that matters, man.
and if it rests while you heat up a hot griddle,
that's even better, for sure. 
the thing about expert vegan pancakes is:
too much is the right amount.
100% fact.
i fried 'em up in a fat spoonful of vegan butter,
and it kept the outer shell of each cake hella crisp,
with that caramel note of cooked brown sugar keeping it real af.
have you ever flipped a pancake and just known in your heart that it was gonna 
be a life-changing experience?
these might be the ones that do it for you.
for realsies.
i love cooking for the children.
it's good for me, and it's good for them, and it only adds to a sense of belonging,
and open-mindedness,
and family togetherness at it's best.
that's no joke.
and while i'm the only vegan in the group,
most of the time everybody is pretty tolerant of my compassionate, considerate,
clearly-superior method of earth-friendly life-sustaining nutrition,
since everything else is basically planet-and-love-destroying selfishness.
so, whenever a pancake can come through and save the day,
you'd best believe i'm there with an open heart and a spatula to make it happen.
i'm actually pretty glad to share these experiences with ALL these young ones 
who matter so much to me.
and they ALL love my pancakes.
all five of the six who've had 'em.
lilli only gets that human mamasyrup so far, 
but i'm sure she'll be psyched when the time comes to have a pancake with us.
i don't know it that's too many pancake eatin' young ones,
or not enough of 'em all told,
but i DO know that with just the three of us here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress
we had leftover 'cakes,
and that's practically a sin;
never quiet, never soft.....

'TATOES!

potatoes for dinner?
yeah, i do that.
check it:

YUUUUUUUP.
i've been busily busting out a whole big bunch of broccoli.
it's got all the nutrients and stuff you need, so i make the most use of it i can.
those potatoes, though.
i boiled up three rough chopped red-skinned potatoes in some salty water.
then i sizzled 'em up in a hot pan with oil, and fire roasted tomato flakes,
plus GPOP, and black pepper, and red pepper flakes...
how freaking easy is that?
with scallion sprankles
and red onions for added expert flavor exxxplosivity.
that's how you make it rad as heck.
and it was.
...and i also added in those savory seared tempeh cubes, bruh.
that's half a block of rough chopped tempeh, with olive oil, a cup of broth,
salt and pepper, thyme, sage, and a little rosemary,
plus just a splash of soy sauce and agave...
simple?
so simple.
heavy-duty, hearty, and full of POWER.
that's the stuff, man.
easy meals aren't the worst thing that ever happened.
that's real.
sometimes you have all the feelings, including hunger,
and that means you need a LOT of interior hugs.
this is what that is;
never quiet, never soft.....