Sunday, January 20

SNOW DAY PIZZA!!!

EGGPLANT!
if you like it, it usually means you know what's up.
if you don't, it usually means you're an A*-hole.
just sayin'.
for the record, i LOVE it, and i might still be an A*-hole, 
so there's no guarantee of anything here.
however, if you're gonna make it, y'gotta make it nicey-nice,
and that means doing it right.
uh-huh.
and i do it riiiiiiight.
that's no joke.
you gotta prep it properly, in order to get the full effect.
i know what to do, and i doo-doo that freaky sh!t.
...guys, snow day supper means melanzane magic-time around here.
and when breezy is keeping me company,
that means gluten-free fried eggplant is ON the menu.
woooooooooooord.
what do we eat on saturdays in the snow?
we eat pizza, bro.
c'mon, what are you? dumb? stop it, and check the teleport:
HOLY Wu-TANG!!!
that's how you make yourself feel great!!
(she had gf pasta, and homemade sauce with hers) 
sorry, but gf pizza crust isn't my forté, yet.
look again:
c'mon!!
that's what's poppin' around the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress, friends.
thinly-sliced skin-on graffiti eggplant, salted and set up,
rinsed, dried, and dredged in:
-
*
-
1 cup non-dairy milk, whisked up with:
1 tsp chia seeds;
1 T chia-flaxmeal;
1 T nootch.
that makes the sticky-stickiness that affixes itself to each circle.
that's eggless eggplant, and that's expert.
and then you dredge those dunked discs into a dry mix-
the herb-crusty gluten-free excellence really turns it up a notch or two.
-
*
-
3 T garbanzo bean flour;
1 T cornstarch;
1 cup crushed gf brown rice krispies;
1 tsp oregano;
1 tsp dried basil;
1 T nootch;
1 tsp ea GPOP;
1/2 tsp thyme;
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes;
pink salt and black pepper.
yeah!!!
shallow-fried in a big ol' pan of vegetable oil until both sides are crissssspy.
neighbors, a good eggplant is gonna keep everything running smoothly on the pizza train.
i mean it.
the eggplant is spotlit on center stage, doing 75% of the heavy lifting.
really, then, as long as your crust is tight af, 
you're golden even with just those two things;
and everything else you're gonna hepa on there is just exxxtra awesome.
real talk.
i have fire-roasted crushed tomatoes for the sauce.
that's over a bed of mandatorily minced daiya mozz'.
then there's a bog bunch of baby spinach, and slivered red onion-
over that, i have blops of my own homemade from-scratch vega tapioca-tofu mozzarella
it's SO melty and stretchy and perfect.
that recipe is right here.
then fried garlic sprankles.
i mean, you already know- rules is rules.
and that eggplant features heavily on top.
but, that's not allllllllll, y'all.
nope.
too much is the right amount,
so there's also miyoko cashew-based mozzarella grated over all of that!!!
woooooooo!!!
the oven was roaring at 480℉, convection style, and the stones were hot as heck.
honestly, it all went super-smoothly, 
even though i was literally on the verge of actually exploding.
hmm?
no. not like a temper tantrum, like an actual stick of dynamite.
yikes.
i didn't, and i survived to tell the tale, 
and i activated the pizza up to eleven 
with a parsley garnish sprankle blast, instead. 
honestly, i think the dough really complimented that egplant.
it was the simplest i've made in a minute, but holy crap, it was the best, too.
-
*
PIZZA DOUGH!
-
you must have a stand mixer by now?
no?
then stop reading, and go get one.
ok.
back?
good.
now, in your brand new stand mixer, with the dough hook attached, knead:
2 cups +2 T ap flour;
2 tsp salt;
1 pkg regular yeast;
1 tsp bread machine yeast;
> 1 cup warm water,
all together for 11 minutes.
cover it, and refrigerate it for a slow bulk/proof all day.
i make mine in the a.m., and fire up the oven when i get home about 12 hours later.
it's wet, but that's good.
huh?
oh, okay-
just one more look:
YEAH!!!
that's a lot of eggplant, but that's the right answer, always.
-
dylan recently showed me a wet-hands trick that works great for stretching dough
on my oiled, seasoned, old-timey stainless baking sheet.
i use that before i transfer it directly to the stones for the last little minute.
there's nothing fancy at all about this dough,
but it tastes mutha-F*ing imperial, man.
-
all together, all the things had my mind calmer, my soul satiated,
and all but my restless legs and my coughing larynx relaxed.
man, i was in heaven, and i had my lady with me, and i was warm,
and of course, i had to ruin it by getting all heavy-lidded and dumb,
and falling a little bit asleep right away.
even when i'm expert, i find a way to be lame.
damn, it's tough being a weird old person.
***********
my sweet, sassy, sophisticated, succulent, truculent tasty baby-mama,
better known to the populace of new hampshire as breezy
is truly somethin' special.
...and that's just the truth.
the thing is:
i'm a finely-calibrated, delicately-balanced piece of work.
y'ever heard an old-timer call somebody a real piece of work
it doesn't actually usually mean something good.
ANYway,
while i was AT work being a piece of work yesterday,
she brought me a coffee during an snow day afternoon visit,
and it activated alllllllll the free radicals, agent provocateurs, and radical activists
in every one of my body's cells, and they organized a jailbreak of energized
berserker barbarianism that had me twitching an itching and generally vibrating
at about a billion times the normal rate of interactive participation with the outside world.
damn.
here's the thing-
i really care deeply about this woman.
so, 
i was doubly anxious about being anxious, 
especially as i'd just been shown kindness and consideration.
and also it's even more of a bummer because the coffee was F*ing excellent.
but the consequences were powerful which all told, made it a very very bad idea.
...the remainder of the evening was the equivalent 
to eating the brown acid at woodstock.
therefore, here's the new rule:
NO caffeine of any kind (that includes decaf) after 2 pm.
no matter what.
there i was, eating eggplant with my competent, capable, and communicative partner,
and my whole body was humming with pent up hyper-awareness of everything
in the past present and future.
crazy, right?
i know.
all i did was have a warm, invigorating beverage, 
and just like *that* my mind transcended space and time, 
and i was adrift in a sea of invisible stress and overstimulation.
that's no bueno, bro.
especially when we'd been buried to our eyebrows in bliss up until then.
-
it's just that she's got somethin'.
y'know?
that very specific, but indescribable somethin'. 
i dunno if it's pheromones, or energy-aura-sh!t,
or both, or neither, or some other other 'nother secret superpower stuff,
but i'm caught in some sort of spell.
spellbound, they call that, right? makes sense.
it doesn't even matter what we're doing.
if she's near me, i feel better.
what the F* even is that?
who is made out of passive-effect medicine for mediating maniac-attackin' madmen??
i guess breezy is. 
she gives me a whole bunch of feels.
i just think it's worth mentioning that i get all welled-up with sentiment and stuff.
it's all really happening,
the positive power of that lady creates a connection that feels bigger than anything ordinary.
then again, that's what being special IS, huh?
there you have it;
never quiet, never soft.....

S.U.S.D!

moths are the coolest.
i've been saying it forever, and i still mean it-
they're out here doing all the same sh!t as butterflies,
without all the grandstanding and showboating.
they do what needs doing, in the dark, out of sight, whilst dodging hungry bats an' that.
plus, they mostly look like tree bark.
how humble and unassuming is that?!
well, not ALL of 'em are dusty-lookin' wood-imitators, though.
some of 'em are pretty wild, really.
like the strawberry-banana-magical pink and yellow elephant hawkmoth.
uh-huh.
that's super-elite, and it looks less like a moth,
and more like an alien battle-kite,
which i have to give credit for- that's expert.
i got to tattoo one on a old friend this saturday.
wait for it:........in black and grey.
ha!
that's some kind of a hard pants kick, isn't it?
even when they're exotic, it doesn't much matter in the woodsly goodness.
nope.
rules is rules
and they're not about to get a chance to start big-timin' around here, man.
check it out:
stay ugly, stay dope.
better moths and better people know what's up.
it was still a whole heck of a lotta fun, seeing folks who've been gone a minute,
and catching up on old times and new directions.
i'm grateful every time i have the opportunity to add some fresh art onto somebody 
who has the olden times poked in 'em from back in the day.
it's a really good feeling.
i'm tattooing second generation folks all the time,
so it's nice to still put it down on the originals, too.
MORE tattoos, always, at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
tattooing is destined to be fun and stay fun this year.
get ready, because that's all we have for you:
good times and better art;
never quiet, never soft.....

Saturday, January 19

MARBLE!

neighbors,
i don't usually mess with marble cakey stuff.
i like it, i just don't ordinarily do it.
so, i done did it.
yeah.
and if i'm being honest?
it was almost expert.
almost.
like, soooo close.
there was just one thing missing,
and i bet i can remedy it next time, for sure.
that's the thing-
i can always improve on everything, so i'm never all the way satisfied-
BUT,
y'all would be a little dissatisfied with these, too.
i'll tell you what went wrong and how to make it right;
but first, check the teleport:

ALL THE MARBLES!
ha.
gluten-free chocolate and vanilla burly bars.
...they look good, for sure.
they needed a scoople of coconut ice cream, though, or the dry-guy texture
was detrimental to full-sized enjoyment.
awwwww, man.
the chocolate drizzles helped a little,
but there just wasn't enough moisture IN the crumb.
i blame myself,
since i didn't use a recipe, and i didn't use nearly enough different flours.
damn me for a fool, y'know?
guys,
whats the number one rule about gluten-free baking?
too much is the right amount.
yup.
for really real.
i was over here doing it wrong.
i won't make the same mistake twice.
i'll give you the recipe, and i'll note where i've amended the mix to make it better.
ok?
ok!
-
*
GF MARBLE BROWNIES!
-
preheat your oven to 375℉
-
grease a 9" x 12" brownie pan
-
in a medium saucepot, over medium-low heat, melt:
1 stick ( 8 T) vegan butter;
1 1/4 cups sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/4 cup unsweetened flake coconut;
1 cup + 3 T non-dairy milk.
-
into that warm wet pot, add:
1 cup bob's gf baking blend;
1/2 cup mama's gf almond blend *i didn't do this, and i should've*;
1/2 cup bob's 1:1 gf ap rice flour;
3 T tapioca flour;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/4 cup non-dairy yogurt * again, it needed this to hold more moisture in*;
-
stir it well, and spoon 2/3 into the greased pan.
add 3 T cocoa to the remainder, and blop it on top in an irregular pattern,
then gently drag a knife or spatula through both batters, to pull one into the other.
do NOT overdo it, or it'll just be a dark beige bummer.
you want distinct stripes of each.
that's key.
-
bake the tray for 30ish minutes,
and let it cool completely before turning it out onto a wire rack with paper underneath it,
to catch all the drips and drops of chocolate from the added awesomeness.
mmmmhmmmm.
i used raw cacao butter, raw cacao, vanilla, powdered sugar,
and non-dairy milk to make my drizz'.
i could've just melted choco-chips like a smarty, but i was determined to make it harder,
and not as good, i guess.
i sure showed myself how to complicate everything at once.
the ganache was good,
but those brownies were D R Y.
i see now what needed to happen, and i'll try again, and make it better,
and doo-doo that sh!t right before too long.
i gotta.
i totally hate not being a huge success.
besides, rules is rules,
and we don't end on a failure, man.
*
it's a snow day weekend.
that's weirdly exciting.
we thought this would be a banner weeked of big action at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
instead, it's bound to be a brutal blizzard.
tight.
i guess even when you imagine you're gonna be great,
in reality nature wins and she's just letting you have what's left over.
yikes.
i'll take what i can, and shovel the rest off of my walkway.
it's wintertime in the woodsly goodness, and that means that weather wants to ruin
everybody's good time.
that's fine.
a little ( or a LOT ) of snow is just what happens in the north.
there are worse things-
like my dangerous driveway,
or the even more dangerous one at the studio,
or the falling snow off of my roof-
but, all of that is outside, and i plan on being cozy in a sweater somewhere indoors,
at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress, or next to the heater at the shop,
but no matter what, i'm gonna enjoy it.
it's happening whether we're happy about it or not,
so pouting only makes it worse.
besides, ANYthing can happen,
and there's something sort of exciting about that no matter what;
never quiet, never soft.....

SMALLS!

so, i draw the same sh!t allll the time.
here's the thing-
i like the stuff i draw, and i really do feel like there's always room
for even MORE reimagining of the subject matter.
that's no joke.
so, i might make a million more darumas,
and another 'nother couple dozen mr. punch-back hunchbacks.
the stuff i like is the stuff i'm gonna draw,
from right now right up until somebody starts paying me to draw what they like.
i mean, it's my time, and i'm putting it where i want.
and lately, after or in-between appointments,
that's been to sit at the back drawing table at AMPERSAND TATTOO,
and make MORE art for the place.
seriously, it's a makey, arty, crafty, eclectic eccentric electric space,
and the more supercharged illustrations on the walls,
the more all of the pieces interlink and activate a pervasive persuasive creative aura.
that's a thing.
i'm not making massive murals, i'm making small art.
finished in short time,
in small spaces,
to make every inch of the place more expert.
check the teleport:

the DARUMA of the hot fire and lightning!
that's a 2" x 3" frame, neighbors.
it's not big, it's tiny.
but, i like that hair is wild as hell, and that he's got both eyes filled in.
if y'all don't eff with daruma, y'all are just plain ol' effin' up.
-
and then, because on snow days, ANYthing can happen,
i went backwards in time a bit,
and used the paper-cutout technique i love a LOT to make a mad mr. punch.
check it:

his head is separate from the rest.
i wasn't sure of what i was making until it was done.
then, i was psyched to see his swazzy weiner-chin and crazy eyes.
you can never have too many hunchbacked bushwhackin' jesters.
*
i had a little bit of time between my appointments.
it happens, and i don't mind it when it does.
there's always something to make, or read, or eat-
and you can't do that with bloody gloves on, or you're butt-nasty.
that ain't me, man, and it's not how we do it at the studio.
i'm just some guy who loves to cook food, draw pictures,
and make art wherever i find myself.
making the most of the minutes in front of me isn't easy, but it's necessary.
the official position of AMPERSAND TATTOO for 2019?
make tattooing fun again.
i didn't become a tattooer to be stressed out and sad all the time-
i could've sat in a cubicle, or worked on a road crew,
or done countless other bummery jobs....
but i was made to do tattoos. i'm built for it, i'm designed to live this life,
and a sore hand here or there,
or a slow month in the shoulder season of the woodsly goodness
isn't what's gonna derail the juggernaut of a wild ride i'm on,
and i'm destined to see it through to the finish line.
twenty ears of this sh!t, and i'm not about to poop out now.
it's all really happening, and it's what i DO.
making art, making moves, making the magic happen;
never quiet, never soft.....

Friday, January 18

TRIPLES!

red pears!!!
pecans!!!
blackberry jammie-jam!!!
that's a trio that'll turn heads,
and empower tastebuds with flavorful energy,
and activate your senses with sexxiness.
dudes,
the pastry crust game at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress has long been a
bastion of big action and flaky freshness.
as usual, i lived up to my own expectations, which were high,
and delivered a crust so crisssp i was forced to eat it all.
that's right.
mandatory mass-consumption.
shark-gluttonous feeding frenzy fury from the first bite.
why?
just look at it:

c'mon.
that's why!
two layers of red skin-on ripe pears, (like, two pears, sliced into discs)
with blackberry jam on the bottom, middle and top.
and pecans ready to roast...
and a soft dusting of cinnamon to turn it up!
after twenty minutes at 400℉, i hit it with a snowy show of powdered sugar,
and pout it back in for a few MORE minutes, to really catch that crispiness.
mmmmmm.
neighbors, the crust was incredible-
the pears all softened and stuck together with the candied jam,
and it all became one soft smooth filling, with that pecan activation
pumping up the volume and the glory to eleven.
heck yes.
and the crust?
man, it was exxxactly what i needed.
-
*
PASTRY CRUST!
-
in your food processor, pulse together:
8 T (1 stick vegan butter);
3 T vegan creamchee';
1 2/3 cups flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
3 T sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
2-4 T non-dairy milk, added between pulses,
until the whole mixture combines to a crumbly sticks-together-when-pressed dough.
uh-huh.
y'gotta wrap and rest it, too.
that's a thing.
at least one hour in the fridge, overnight is better.
really, if you think you might want pastry tomorrow, today's the day to make the dough.
planing ahead is hard when you never know what's to eat,
but if you've got the dough, you know it's gonna be baked and buttery and flaky,
and that's a start, for sure.
word.
-
i like braids, and i like little decorations, and i looooooove fruit and jam together,
so really, this was gonna be a hit with me no matter what.
the fact that it looked so pretty was a bonus.
(i'd still have eaten it if it was only mostly beautiful)
that's real.
making a morning somethin' is always the best way to get my day flowing.
i don't always bake a treat, but when i do,
i know that my day is already awesome,
so whatever else happens is just exxxtra-dope.
some people need more,
most people do less,
but i've got a sweet spot centered around my oven.
and my oven needs replacing!!!!!
no joke.
i think that ten years of heavy abuse has taken it's toll.
i said that last year, and it hasn't fixed itself.
i need a stove.
the whole point of what's really happening here at the house is that it's gonna be delicious.
otherwise, what the F* am i even doing?
stove shopping is in my future, it seems.
***********
i've got dude tats all day.
that's cool.
it's friday,
there's a big snowstorm coming at us,
and i could use some straight-ahead dude-zappers to pad my pockets
in the face of weather-related cancellations.
guys,
only pickuptrucktards come out to get patriotic tattoos in the snow.
what says freedom more than rear-wheel drivin' down a cliffsided ice mountain
to get a pack of smokes and a sick tat of a deer outline with a flag inside it?
ummm, yeah.
i don't know what it is about the north country,
and the high-hills people who populate it-
but the ones who love america the most?
mainly by virtue of having seen the least of it,
and none of anywhere else?
they LOVE driving trucks in the snow.
i'll be at work, ready to drop 13 stars on whoever needs 'em, don't get me wrong.
but here's the thing-
why is it so uniformly all the samesies who need that stuff?
military tattoos aside, because most of those are cooler, anyway,
the unincorporated beer-fire 2A workboot militias of the mountains are NOT
the embodiment of america spirit i personally would choose to represent us at the job fair,
y'know?
man, i'm not sayin'....i'm just sayin'.
we've got your america tattoos on every snow day from now until canada invades,
so don't think we aren't gonna be open,
because rules is rules, and tattoos don't stop for weather;
never quiet, never soft.....

SMALL ART...

a couple of pens,
a couple of marky markers,
a couple of tiny frames....
that's all you need, neighbors-
well,
all that, a few minutes, and an idea.
then you're really ready to make a bit of small art.
yup.
small art.
it's not elaborate, it's not super-refined, or very fine-
no matter how tight the pen tips may be.
yeah.
when the day takes you off in a direction you don't expect?
...make some small art!
it's like a warm-up for february.
february always needs a lot of art.
that's a thing.
so, in advance, a bit of makin' is in order.
check it:

a dirty bird!
nice.

a skullworm?!
sure.

a moosebear!!!!
yeah.
y'all don't know my life.
i'm out here at AMPERSAND TATTOO making the minutes matter more, man.
ha!
these are all only a couple of inches.
tight spaces, tiny places, and mini frames are what we have room for in-between
all the bigger art hanging all along the white wall of the studio.
it's pretty flippin' cool.
you might wanna come see;
never quiet, never soft.....

Wednesday, January 16

STIRRED UP!

is stir-fry lame?
too easy?
it's quick, and that's the truth,.
but is it not fancy enough?
too simplistic? 
i don't think so at all,
but then again,
the way i do it, it's a giant exxxtravaganza of good flavors for everyone.
....really.
hot, tangy, spicy, sweet- all the good things.
and i'll eve only eff with a color palette that coordinates.
i'm like that, and i like that-
check it out:
GINGER-SRIRACHA NOODLE MAGIC!
-
i had coconut oil and sesame seeds toasting up those fat chunks of tofu.
that's tasty, toasty fried 'fu fury for your face.
simultaneously,
i had a skillet with superheated sesame oil searing allllll the veggies.
a bed of shredded cabbage, topped with celery, red onion, 
purple carrot, a LOT of garlic,
a spoonful of fresh skin-on organic ginger slivers,
minced cilantro stems,
and a whole bunch of diced up broccolini stalks and florets.
yeah!
that's all the good stuff.
while that sizzled and sauteed,
i whipped up a SAUCE.
y'gotta have some-
i'm sayin', neighbors-
without sauce, your sh!t is bound to be b!tchsappy and weak.
and that's never invited to my dinner table.
-
*
SAUCE!
-
1 T tamari;
1 T rice vinegar;
2 T mae ploy;
1 T sriracha;
2 tsp lime juice;
6 shredded big basil leaves;
black pepper;
GPOP;
1 tsp crushed cilantro leaves-
uh-huh.
that's the good good stuff.
-
now, i confess, i used thiccc udon noods.
i had 'em, i wanted 'em, i'm NOT sorry for it-
but if i'd needed to go gluten-free, i could've, 
and maybe should've, used rice noodles instead.
no worries, tho-
i had a half a cup of hot water, a bag of ready-to-go fatties,
a scoop of that sauce, and a hard squeeze of exxxtra sriracha, too.
yes.
too much is the right amount, man.
believe it.
i added all the rest of the sauce to the veggies, lidded it, 
and gave it a lil bitty baby minute to activate.
meanwhile,
the water was absorbed into the udons,
and the udons got added to the veggies, and all of it made it's way to my plate-
where pea shoots, AND scallions, AND cilantro, AND jalapeno, AND limes
all turned it up to eleven.
and then i got hella expert 
and slid half an AVO-F*ING-CADO all up on there too.
woooooooooooooord.
y'all ain't ready.
that's molto molto  massively magnificent.
real talk.
all that flavor had my nose a little runny!
that's a sure sign that it's good af.
*
i wasn't even gonna have dinner.
seriously, i overdid it allllll effing day.
i started off by making sure i had a burly BIG brekkie,
then i got surprised, and i had half an all-sauce-only sicilian pizza with dylan.
i dipped out of work a half an hour early, went to the grocery store,
and then i came home ready to relax,
but after only ten minutes, i had three burners going on the stove,
and buried my face in alll the noods.
it's a compulsion, it seems.
i slept like a boulder afterwards, and rested more than i've had in an age.
maybe MORE food is the right answer?
i'll do it again today, and find out;
never quiet, never soft.....

BIG TIME!

the potatoes were BIG.
the tofu was BIG.
the breakfast was BIG.
but the waffles? those were mini.
aww.
dudes, check the teleport:

BREKZ IN EFFECT!
oatmeal waffles are expert.
skin-on homeboi fries are expert.
tofu is F*ing super-expert.
and vegetables are all i even care about, neighbors.
y'boi is out here making sure mornings are nutritious af,
twice as filling,
three times as sexxxy,
and quadruple the hottness that a bowl of cereal ever could be.
that's word.
*
i had sourdough baking at 460℉
so i tossed in some oiled, pink salted and peppered fat red-skin-on wedges of potato
to roast in there with my loaves.
yeah.
wedgies, kids, for breakfast.
golden, but soft inside,
and tossed into a skillet with red onion and smoked hot paprika and GPOP?!
man, that's what you need.
but it ain't the boomfire 'til you activate some ho'sauce and scallion sprankles.
*
that tofu is the TRUTH, too.
fattie boombatie cubes of the stuff,
with red onion, spinach, broccoli, tomatoes, nootch, turmeric, GPOP,
a little paprika, a glug of olive oil, slat and pepper,
and cilantro spranks to keep it lookin' lovely.
dudes,
i toasted the heck out of that tofu.
exxxtra-firm exxxtra-sexxxiness,
with vegetable berserker activation definitely did me right.
too much is the right amount,
and those oversized overloaded scrambloxxx was just that.
*
i loooooooove waffles.
mmhmm.
i do.
and these waffles were especially lovable.
f'real.
-
*
OATMEAL WAFFLES!
-
warm up your waffle iron, big, small, square, round, whatever-
-
in a big bowl, combine:
1 cup flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
2 T sugar;
1/2 cup whole rolled oats;
2 T dried small-flake unsweetened coconut;
1 tsp ea baking powder and soda.
stir that together, and add:
2 T unsweetened coconut yogurt;
3 T melted vegan butter;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
1 tsp vanilla.
stir it up, let it rest, then spoon it in and waffle it out, bro.
yeah!
the waffle iron does all the hardest parts.
-
you'll need real new hampshire maple syrup if you want the best  results.
i mean, i only use it, and it's always dope.
keep your corn syrup to yourself, and if you're IN vermont, i s'pose you can use that stuff,
but if you're anywhere else, don't be lame, and use the true live free or die sap.
-
powdered sugar? sure.
like, why not, right?!
a bit of dusty overloading is possibly good for you.
it won't hurt any, that's for sure.
hmmm?
oh, yeah, those are coconut sprankles on the waffles, too.
i want a big B, buddy, not just an ordinary large breakfast.
***********
starting the day with some active, invested, intentional edible excellence was a good idea.
it helped make the tattoo i had on the schedule much easier to create.
i mean it.
a comfortably full belly,
a sweet and savory combination of textures and tastes-
i was loaded up, and well-rounded and feeling rotund,
and definitely ready to rock some socks.
it's always a huge comfort to me to make good food,
and enjoy the process and the product.
that's my at-home purpose, i think.
i'm a cook, and i cook a LOT.
good food and good feelings and good art and good things for e'rybody.
it's all really happening in the middle of january;
never quiet, never soft.....

Tuesday, January 15

MR.PUNCH!

man, have i got a judy for you!
i had two of these cool frames,
and i had a little minute or two at the end of the day,
so i marky-markered up another 'nother little patron icon
to hang on the big art wall at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
yeah.
mr. punch, possessor of the swazziest voice,
the slappiest stick,
and the hunchiest back:

that's my dude.
if you know, you know.
and i know, neighbors.
i'm a little unimpressed with the photo quality, relative to the delicate nuances
that alcohol markers impart.
this  looks a little washed out on the screen at my house,
but maybe it's comin' in fresh and crisspy over at yours?
i dunno, even though i know, y'know?
uh-huh.
go find out about punch and judy.
they do some things;
never quiet, never soft.....

D'YA LIKE DAGS?

mama was an old b!tch, bro.
uh-huh.
like, literally both of those things,
but she was the most loved, so now she's the most tattooed.
check it:

dog people do dog people things,
and i'm here to help with that.
we have all the dog sympathy, empathy, and enthusiasm at AMPERSAND TATTOO.
that's a thing;
never quiet, never soft.....

Monday, January 14

PIIIIIIIIIIIIZZAAAAAAA!!

sprouted whole wheat pizza?
man, i dunno.
i tried a new thing, and it worked out great.
ok, that's not entirely true.
rather, i had not enough of my regular king arthur all purpose flour,
so i amended my recipe with other stuff to bulk it up.
does the brand loyalty to king arthur really matter?
you bet your A* it does.
if you're a new englander, and you like using good wheat to make better treats?
well, then you have to use the king, kiddo.
rules is rules.
that's a thing.
ANYway,
i wasn't trying to make my dough exxxtra hippied-out,
or especially upgraded in nutrients,
i just didn't wanna open up another 'nother big bag of what i was using,
so i tossed in some semolina, but there wasn't enough of that either;
so i went off course a bit, and veered into powerful whole wheat territory.
now lemme just say it: this sh!t was expert!!
yup.
crispy, crusty, flavorful fresh baked burliness is just what i needed.
check the teleport:

PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!!
word up.
that's a triple vegan chee' super-deluxxxurious dopeness disc for sure.
what a crust!
what a cheesy pull it possesses!
what a furiously ferocious freshness it embodies!
hey, yo, on the ones? this is the stuff that reaffirms my belief in
turbo-intense active participation and warrior poetry in practice.
i mean it.
homemade hottness is always gonna make me feel better.
definitely.
so, what's the all-star line-up on this lovely circle of saucy supremacy?
i'll give it you:
fire-roasted crushed tomatoes for the sauce.
that's slightly chunkier than my normal everyday tuttorosso crushies,
but so worth it for the added rich depth that the fire-kisses impart.
for sure.
that's laid out over a bed of baby spinach.
leafy greens are great on pizza, and anybody who says otherwise is an A*-hole.
raw red onions?
don't mind if i do.
they're sharp, but a 480℉ oven, with convection circulation
takes them down a peg, and lets their flavor shine through,
but not so much of their death-breath savagery fumes out
from your facehole after a hot bake, y'feel me?
neighbors,
there are three vegan chee's on there.
-
minced daiya mozz.
that's the only way to do it.
if you don't mmice it, don't even bother, because your usage is flawed
and therefore your end results will be too.
f'realsies.
-
grated miyoko mozz.
that stuff is soooo good, and super melty, and really tasty.
-
and do you see those margherite-style mountains of chee'?
that's my own personal tapioca-tofu greatness in F*ing full effect.
yup.
here's that recipe.
that's the stuff.
*
and how about those smoky chick peas?
mmmm.
GPOP and hot smoked paprika and olive oil and garbanzos,
all fried up together for some meaty magnificence rolling all over the top.
-
and fried garlic sprankles, obviously.
y'can't have a Folk Life & Liberty Fortress pizza without 'em.
it's just not allowed.
-
when it came out of the oven, i had to hit it up with a lil parsley;
just a teentsy tiny little baby bit, to pretty it up,
and then i activated it with level-eleven savory sexxxiness
by tearing a bunch of fresh basil over the top and laying it over the top.
word.
-
but, that crust though.
holy crap, guys.
i was very pleasantly surprised.
-
*
WEIRD-O'DOUGH!
-
in your vital upright stand-mixer, complete with dough hook,
knead all together:
1 pkg fast yeast;
1 pkg regular yeast;
1/3 cup sprouted whole wheat flour;
1 1/2 cups ap flour;
2 tsp sea salt;
2 T olive oil;
1/4 cup semolina flour;
1 cup very warm water.
knead it for eleven minutes on mediumish speed-
add more flour if it's tooooo wet, but you'll want a wetter,. stickier dough for this-
over time, in the fridge, while it proofs, that whole wheat will absorb way more water
than regular flour, and the extra yeast will thank you for the hydration, too.
i gave it 12 hours to get ready, and the oven was hot as hell when i stretched my dough, bro.
uh-huh.
i still use an oiled, seasoned steel baking sheet, from who knows when or where,
to make my pizzas on.
i love it.
i wet my hands to handle the dough, and gave it a really even and thorough stretch,
and baked it with one turn in the oven,
and then another few minutes directly on the stones....
pizza is my numero-uno,
and this one was a trophy piece, no doubt about it.
i love it when i have a good reason to keep my oven on,
and warm up this drafty old expensive, expansive manse, man.
***********
sunday was a little bit of alright.
i had tattoos,
i had pizza,
i had time alone with breezy,
and she came through to AMPERSAND TATTOO
looking goooooooood, too.
that's always invited.
like, if you say you got a tasty mountain mama,
but then she walks in lookin' hella haggard?
that's fine.
c'mon, dudes, don't be shallow-
ladies,
we respect all y'all, and you don't need to paint yourself up to be valuable.
but, when the looks are flowin' fast and free?
man, you already know.
i appreciate it, and it lends credibility to my taste in what's good.
that's f'real.
so i had pizza, and my tired oven took it's damned time getting hot enough,
and she had a gluten-free mixed medley of stuff i had,
but she was already more than hot enough, so that sped things up a lot.
ha!
spanning time, and being together, and enjoying each other-
sometimes, that's what we need;
never quiet, never soft.....